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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why do some nursery staff insist on overhelping children with their craft?

108 replies

Soubriquet · 16/12/2016 13:00

3 year old dd broke up from nursery yesterday and came away with a little Christmas bag full of the Christmas activities that they did

It is 100% obvious it isn't her work

It looks like they've applied the glue for her to stick or things like that

Even her name where they have to trace the dots looks like someone has helped her.

I know that because at home, when she tries, she can't do it.

I would rather have messy wonky looking crafts that are done by her, then decent looking things that have had a lot of intervention.

I thought this was frowned upon now in pre-schools and nurseries?

OP posts:
Elroya1 · 16/12/2016 13:29

I think it is fine if they help at first, but maybe gradually let children do more on their own?

Coffeerun · 16/12/2016 13:31

Actually, having now seen those photos I can understand where you're coming from.

TiggyD · 16/12/2016 13:33

On the whole i agree with the op. I do find some places skip creativity for a better look. And some places what wouldn't normally, do it for christmas card/present. Is it always very helped?

ReallyTired · 16/12/2016 13:35

When children do craft it's the process that matters rather than the end product. A group of children threading pasta onto a string might be counting, developing hand to eye coordination. They are also developing concentration skills. A good nursery nurse would be talking to the children while they do the exercise. The child would be learning all kinds of mathematical ideas without realising it. There may well be lots of other parts of the EYFS curriculum as well.

There is no time in a decent nursery for perfection.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 16/12/2016 13:36

Maybe in the new year you could ask them how much she does by herself, and how you'd like them to leave her to it so you can see what she's able to do on her own. As another PP said, the nursery staff can't really win because parents want different things.

Original poster
Soubriquet · 16/12/2016 13:37

Is it always very helped?

I don't know. This is the first lot of craft stuff she's ever bought home.

They usually keep it and file it in her progress folder. We get it at the end of the year

OP posts:
ShowMePotatoSalad · 16/12/2016 13:37

What was brought home to the OP is hardly perfection...the bag is pretty fancy looking but that was obviously done for the children rather than the parents. The xmas tree decoration definitely looks like a child did it...apart from the thread.

ReallyTired · 16/12/2016 13:38

I think the op should take development of fine motor skills into her own hands. There is a lot that can be done at home. There are lots of threads with suggestions on mumsnet.

longhotbath · 16/12/2016 13:38

I agree with you OP. My DD goes to two settings. In one the focus is very much 'process not product' so I get all kinds of scribbles and randomly applied glitter! The second, you can very much tell that an adult has 'helped' a lot. I appreciate the items from setting one much more than the second but I can't say I'm massively bothered about the way the second setting choose to work. Like a previous poster said, I don't think they can really win either way.

EdmundCleverClogs · 16/12/2016 13:39

ReallyTired, it's not 'craft', is messing around with some materials and making some little Christmas bits to bring home. What is this place's obsession with children 'crafting'?

Original poster
Soubriquet · 16/12/2016 13:40

I think the op should take development of fine motor skills into her own hands. There is a lot that can be done at home. There are lots of threads with suggestions on mumsnet.

I will hold my hands up and say we don't do a lot of craft at home.

I have a younger ds who is a bit of a handful. He tends to throw a wobbly when things don't go his way so I try to minimise the risk of things that could set him off.

He still insists on putting things in his mouth too

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 16/12/2016 13:41

You are allowed to be annoyed by whatever you want. Others are allowed to tell you (since you asked) that you are being unreasonable.

ReallyTired · 16/12/2016 13:41

I think with the Christmas tree a three year old might have tipped the glitter on, but an adult put the glue on. Sad as most three year olds can do cutting and sticking with minimal adult help. (Glitter should be banned as it is evil stuff, but sticking on cut up card is easy)

ShowMePotatoSalad · 16/12/2016 13:43

But hasn't the OP said her DD can't do it yet? Which is fine.

Original poster
Soubriquet · 16/12/2016 13:44

Of course Trifle

It's why I posted in AIBU Grin

OP posts:
Clandestino · 16/12/2016 13:45

See, some parents will complain that their child didn't bring a bag that looks 100% faultless. Or will belittle their 3y old ones because they are not the next Picasso/Monet/Rubens they want them to be.
Some, like you, will complain that their child is getting extra help to make it look "too perfect". It's a a no win-win situation for nurseries in the world with the luxury of first+ world problems.
If you have doubts about your child's skills or are worried she's not good enough and needs a specialised support, ask them for advice.
If you feel like you haven't seen the real "her" in those things, sit down with her and create something nice where you let her take the lead.
You can't expect the nursery staff to accommodate all parents' expectations, which can be pretty different from one child to another.
And one more thing - believe me, children instinctively feel when the parent is disappointed with their product.

Noodledoodledoo · 16/12/2016 13:46

I think one of the issues is when some parents believe their little ones can do these things.

My daughter (2) likes a scribble - put stuff on to where I had glued the other days as I was attempting to make Christmas cards and kind of wanted them to look ok - eyes in the right place etc! Other times I let her just do as she wants.

However I have a friend whose little girl is a month older who posts her work she does at nursery, saying what a genius she is and it is very unlikely her own work but mum is convinced it is. I went to an art club with her the other day and saw her output when left alone - a lot of parental help required!

ReallyTired · 16/12/2016 13:47

"I have a younger ds who is a bit of a handful. He tends to throw a wobbly when things don't go his way so I try to minimise the risk of things that could set him off."

That is really hard. I suggest getting your daughter some Duplo or large wooden jigsaws. Aquadraw is good fun and only water. How old is your youngest? I think with small children it's best to focus on mark making rather than what the result looks like.

CesareBorgiasUnicornMask · 16/12/2016 13:56

I was thinking this when DS brought his home the other day. My favourite was one I know he did all himself - I assume it was supposed to be a robin as it incorporated brown and red paint, feathers and a gold triangle. It looks very... deconstructed. Like a robin that had a nasty encounter with a cat followed by a steam roller.

The hanging Christmas tree on the other hand looks so identifiable that I assume he had a lot of help/ got bored halfway through and his keyworker finished it. Both treasures for future Christmas rediscovery, though Xmas Grin.

Original poster
Soubriquet · 16/12/2016 13:59

He's 2 at the beginning of March ReallyTired

We have aquadoodle which they both enjoy playing with and there's blocks around too.

She also has the chance to go upstairs when she wants to do some drawing

OP posts:
ReallyTired · 16/12/2016 14:15

It sounds like you are doing everything you can. Do you have the option of a school nursery?

Lacing cards are good for places like doctors or anywhere else where you have to wait.

www.thebookpeople.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/qs_product_tbp?storeId=10001&catalogId=10051&langId=100&productId=629165&cm_mmc=Google%20Adwords--PLA--Alphabet+Lacing+Cards-_--CN0184&gclid=CLLDrJby-NACFc287QodRiAMFg

The two year old will calm down. Does he attend nursery yet? Does he still nap? It will get easier in a few months times as your son gets older. I think with craft children lose interest when it's too hard.

ReallyTired · 16/12/2016 14:16

"I was thinking this when DS brought his home the other day. My favourite was one I know he did all himself - I assume it was supposed to be a robin as it incorporated brown and red paint, feathers and a gold triangle. It looks very... deconstructed. Like a robin that had a nasty encounter with a cat followed by a steam roller. "

Brilliant. That sounds like the perfect learning experience.

Original poster
Soubriquet · 16/12/2016 14:20

Yes he still naps and no he isn't in nursery yet.

OP posts:
WatchfulOwl · 16/12/2016 14:21

At a guess I'd say they were running out of time to get all the Christmas bits finished in time to send home at the end of term. And it turned into a 'glue here, here and here, glitter...NEXT!' type activity.

Not even ideal (and I don't disagree with the OP it is all a bit pointless), but not the end of the world. Doesn't meant the activities aren't child led the rest of the time.

FizzBombBathTime · 16/12/2016 14:25

I worked in a nursery for just over four years

When doing my level three we were always told to let the children do it themselves often after seeing a pre made example, such as a decorated Christmas tree or an Easter egg or decorated cake (you get the idea)

Staff would oversee the activity and direct in a general way, encourage and help with things the children couldn't do yet, especially if they asked (eg: peeling a sticker or something if they cannot manage)

The stuff your DD has 'made' looks very nice, but it's easy to see she didn't do it herself. She wouldn't have got a lot of doing those activities.