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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think he thinks no one is coming because no one loves him?

78 replies

MommaGee · 15/12/2016 21:22

So baby is in bed, sleeping horrendously over the last week - last 4 nights were spent on his nursery floor by me because i was getting up so often it wasn't worth going to bed.
He cried out (have monitor downstairs), by the time i'd put down what was in my lap and got part way upstairs he stopped so i didn't go in (even asleep he's easily disturbed) but now i'm convinced he's lying there alone in the dark thinking i don't love him.
I have to go and put his feed on in half an hour so that will probably disturb him so i just didn't want to go in and wake him up if he was asleep.

Have i traumatised him forever or am i just being pfb? We aren't a CIO house, he cried for about 20 seconds, possibly not even that long

OP posts:
JsOtherHalf · 15/12/2016 23:36

You're very welcome Smile

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 15/12/2016 23:58

I wouldn't worry about that at 18mths.

haveacupoftea · 16/12/2016 00:20

Aw you are doing a fab job. A few seconds crying wont traumatise him x

YouCanDoThis · 16/12/2016 00:32

I did get the 'put a feed yo' reference in the first post but it's understandable others wouldn't. It sounds as though you're doing a great job and have since had plenty of reassurance that he'll wake you if he needs you! Hopefully you are having a more restful night tonight and your little one stays as healthy as possible.

Original poster
MommaGee · 16/12/2016 09:00

so he slept for a couple of hours solid then woke at 1. went to check and he'd wiggled that much the bloody o2 tube was wrapped around his neck! thankfully not tight and we have the sats monitor on so he's fine was just uncomfy and angry. He then woke consistently through the night. tried going back to bed every time in case i'm disturbing him but to no avail, he still woke up tons and i'm still exhausted.
annoyingly i struggled to get to sleep before gone midnight because i was waiting for him to wake up.
he was up before 8 with dad this morning and is now lively as ever.

please send coffee and cake!!

OP posts:
JsOtherHalf · 16/12/2016 11:48

What does he sleep in? Bedding, baby sleeping bag, etc?

Original poster
MommaGee · 18/12/2016 21:10

He sleeps with blankets, always has. Used to struggle with sleeping bags etc cos of SATS probe on his foot. Am contemplating putting him in a sleeping bag as he wraps the blankets round him too but worried about him standing up in it and falling over

OP posts:
Laquila · 18/12/2016 21:17

www.jojomamanbebe.co.uk/sleep-snugglers-2-5-tog-b7186.html

Would these be better than sleeping bags, OP?

Mammylamb · 18/12/2016 21:25

Good luck! A wee 29 second squawk is nothing and he will not be lying there all upset that mummy doesn't love him. (But their wee crumpled faces do go for your heart.). Hope you get a good nights sleep.

Original poster
MommaGee · 18/12/2016 21:53

mammylamb i'm yet to have one in the last week but i live in hope!!

OP posts:
JsOtherHalf · 18/12/2016 21:56

Have you seen the gro to bed range? The duvet zips to the sheet.

gro.co.uk/product/gro-to-bed/

It would solve the problem of him being tangled, and still allow the sats monitor.
Not sure about the gastro feed though.

JsOtherHalf · 18/12/2016 22:22

Hmm, just came across these : tummy tunnels - iron on patches for clothing to enable them to be converted to accomdate a gastro tube.

www.tummytunnels.com

Delivery isn't cheap, but it works out better to order more as the delivery doesn't increase.

Charlie97 · 19/12/2016 07:42

Oh bless you, you must be exhausted. The 20 second cry was nothing to worry about, he's exhausted and so are you.

I'm sorry it's so tough at the moment, but things will get better in time. I'm sure that hospital stays must really knock him out of routine. Poor wee lad.

xx

Original poster
MommaGee · 19/12/2016 20:59

Thanks JS i've seen them before. waiting to get out button in January before i do anything major as we're currently managing with PEG to just run in out of his vest at the bottom and up.

THanks Charlie, takes a few weeks to get over and now a cold on top, hoping he'll get some proepr sleep at some point and get better.

bless his heart, he fell asleep on me horixontally in the art gallery, like lying on his tummy across my arms. i should add he's average 18 mo sized and 12 kg!!

OP posts:
Mypurplecaravan · 19/12/2016 21:31

That's a nice hefty size to have fall asleep on you.... pinning you to the art gallery (I hope you had a good picture to look at at least).

That nice chunky baby is a clear demonstration of your love and devotion. That despite all of his surgeries and difficulties you have managed to feed him so well that he has grown so.

And despite no sleep, you still manage to take him round the art gallery. You are finding the energy to keep buggering on.

And he feels so safe in your arms, he falls asleep across you.

You are all over this.

Original poster
MommaGee · 19/12/2016 23:38

we were in the tearoom bit so thankfully sitting haha and i did dump his lovely lump into his pushchair after about 10 minutes lol
Alas his tremendous growingness is due to NG and now PEG feed, but I can atribute MY weight to him being a feeder as he loves to feed me his food (quite oral averse but we're getting there!)

Yeah i am the most comfy bed he has haha but just wish the lovely monster would sleep for more than a few hours. Poor thing has a cold now so not helping.

Dear Santa, please for Christmas can my darling son NOT have a cold and I HAVE some uniterupted sleep whilst DS sleeps peacefully haha

OP posts:
Mypurplecaravan · 20/12/2016 00:00

That ng and peg feed doesn't get into him all by itself.

Do not do yourself down.

You are encouraging him to take oral food. When he's not keen you allow him to feed you. Helping him overcome his fear of the weird tastes and textures. You tempt him with little morsels and somehow remain optimistic when he rejects it. You keep offering it and keep loving him.

As well as all that you make up his complex feeds and sneak in on schedule (or near enough) to feed it to him via his peg. And some nights you manage that and barely wake him.

Good luck with the sleep. I hope the cold settles soon.

One foot in front of the other.

You are doing amazingly.

giraffesCantReachTheirToes · 20/12/2016 00:07

Clocked the "put a feed on" in first post and was becoming increasingly defensive for you but see its been explained. Even if that's not the case I don't think there is any reason for anyone to be so blunt to a sleep deprived worried mum. I love mn but sometimes people are in competition to get the first nasty comment in or call reverse/troll they trample over feelings.

Hope he is doing OK op. And stay at home over Christmas

giraffesCantReachTheirToes · 20/12/2016 00:09

There was a poster whose ds was tube fed for years but now about 6ish I think been able to eat orally. Will sent her a link to this thread

ZebraOwl · 20/12/2016 00:25

As Mypurplecaravan said, you are doing a fantastic job. You should be really proud of yourself MommaGee Flowers Cakem

I hope your DS is better soon & that Father Christmas brings you a large supply of top-quality sleep Xmas Grin

Original poster
MommaGee · 20/12/2016 22:14

Haha oh how amazing if Father C could deliver sleep, i love the idea!! He did actually sleep a bit better last night and then had a lovely afternoon nap on the mothership ( God gave me squishy boobs so i'd be comfortable for babies :) )

Thanks PP's, I am feeling better generally about things, and if all else fails i put cheese in front of him!! I'm raising a baby mouse haha

OP posts:
ZebraOwl · 20/12/2016 22:25

Sadly Father C doesn't do sleep. Or new/properly functioning bodies. Would be so nice if he did...

V glad your wee man slept a bit better & that you're feeling a bit brighter too Xmas Smile

UnbornMortificado · 20/12/2016 22:37

I remember the SAT machine beeps and feeding tubes in neonatal.

You have my sympathy 6 weeks was hard enough you must be a saint.

Hope him (and you) have a cold-free and restful Christmas Flowers

ClarissaDarling · 20/12/2016 22:43

I work with adults (well not at the mo as on mat leave) who are peg fed due to various issues so was also initially upset but realise not everyone can be expected to be aware of terminology. This thread reminds me of why I do love MN, lots of support and good advice! MommaG, you and your boy both sound like troopers!

Mypurplecaravan · 20/12/2016 23:32

I swear my son was half cheese at this sort of age.... the perils of baby led weaning in my case was that he devoured cheese and got really good at picking it off the top of food even when grated in!

Glad it seems better today.

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