Or is the NSPCC?

[Stilltryingtobeme]

I'm seriously considering contacting them. I had a crappy childhood, I have complex trauma, a kind of ptsd. Every time that advert comes on, showing the girl that "just doesn't want her abuser to come into the bedroom that night" I practically have a full blown panic attack.

I know it's meant to tug heart strings, I know it's raising awareness. But I wonder if they realise they're just making it harder for survivors? I'm not the only person I know, it actually came up because someone at my group said it was causing them nightmares.

So... Aibu? Be a bit gentle, it's an emotive subject I know.

I honestly don't know if yabu or not.

I have a vaguely similar thing though in that I have very severe health anxiety and any sort of disease related advert e.g. For cancer research sends me into a panic attack.

Unfortunately, similarly to the cancer adverts which often makes those who have had it or have lost family and friends to it feel the same, it's what works. I find them really hard too, I've got quick at muting adverts incase it comes on.

You could write to them, it might be therapeutic and it won't hurt for them to be aware that it's still hurting people. I told one of their senior staff members at an event one (it was relevant!); but they suggested I donate to stop it happening to anyone else... just prepare yourself for that type of response.

Have you exhausted the counselling/therapy options? I'm sorry

I think that, considering your history, YANBU. However, I think that the adverts go this far because they are more likely to have an effect on people with no history of abuse, which means the NSPCC is more likely to get donations. Surely you dont want to take donations from them?

I've often wondered if the hard hitting adverts aren't just a bit too hard hitting, especially for survivors. I'm sorry you went through this, could you contact the NSPCC and tell them?
It's nowhere near the same as what you've been through, but when my mum was told she was terminal there seemed to be cancer research and Macmillan adverts everywhere and I couldn't handle it.

They can't raise any awareness if it's not realistic can they!?

Sorry you feel like that but it's about protecting children here and now, and maybe preventing this stuff happening in the first place

I have a similar diagnosis to you for similar reasons

I have a range of "triggers" that unfortunately involve everyday things which are way outside my remit of control. I accept I cannot control them. I also accept that my emotional response to how I am feeling must be safe, or I must make it safe.

When it comes to promoting something that protects children, I try to take a step back and look at the larger picture. The feelings that I am feeling are only felt by me in this moment. They will pass. In this moment it is ok to feel uncomfortable. Is there anything I can do to make myself feel comfortable and safe. 5-4-3-2-1.

These adverts are far reaching, the NSPCC is well-respected charity which does astounding work. I am sure they are aware that some of the adverts and media materials they produce are triggering, as their wish with many of them is to stir emotions. I also feel like to ban adverts such as these would be minimising the huge problem with child abuse this country has.

I think if an advert makes people empathise and donate, then it's positive.

Yanbu. They quite often leave my 8 year old distressed and in tears.

No I don't, I really don't want that. But it's just so fucking hard right now. Sorry to swear but it's how feel.

I'm on a gap from counselling, I hit the Max sessions and have to wait 6 months to be accepted again. Doctors were useless when I last called, "think of all the positives in your life and give yourself a break".

I guess to be honest I'm tired and that's it. I just feel for people, like me, who can't even watch TV without having an episode. For what it's worth I've started recording everything so I can forward through the adverts!

Just to clarify because she is sensitive not because anything happened to her.

YANBU i feel the same way

And I'm not saying ban them, maybe be more cautious? Does making people cry really work?

Stilltryingtobeme How many is the max counselling limit? My understanding was that for complex trauma there was no max limit. There would always be some form of support, even after intensive psychotherapy if needed (groups etc.)

I got that bored!!

sigh I know I'm being a bit unreasonable. I know it's a trigger and I can't control it to a certain extent. I guess I just feel home should be safe and it's not. Frustrating doesn't cover it!

How do you be more cautious about hard-hitting adverts without showing them though? If you tone the emotiveness of the adverts down there is not much point in showing them - you've removed that 'tugging at heartstrings' message.

Onmountains, I hit 18 sessions with two possible follow ups I'm saving (think I'll need it after Christmas). My lovely therapist even snuck me in 90 minute sessions rather than an hour to get me extra.

Maybe I'll phone the local iapt and see if they have any ideas. Useless GP....

Fair point about caution... Ibu, I know!

And the NSPCCs work in schools is to help children recognise signs of abuse and tell a trusted adult. That has to be paid for....by donations.
I'm so sorry you are feeling unhappy about this, but I feel the currents ads are not as bleak as the "Miles is a quiet child" ones from a few years ago.

YANBU. I know they would say they are trying to raise awareness of current child abuse, but to do that at the expense of previous victims seems pretty mercenary. Especially when generally people aware and the NSPCC don't actually have any legal powers. I'd have more respect for them if they campaigned to increase funding to social services, who are the ones who have to actually deal with the problem.

No, I am not saying you are being unreasonable - you definitely have a very valid reasons to feel like this. I was just perhaps wondering if there's more options you could access to combat experiencing these feelings rather than contacting the NSPCC?

What type of therapy were you having, if you don't mind me asking? If you go back, please ask for referral to a specialist with knowledge of complex trauma - the best outcomes for therapy I believe are psychoanalytic psychotherapy, EMDR or DBT (group or individual). You may be best contacting the Pottergate Centre or the Tavistock and asking for their recommendation of the best service close to you to get referred to. Hop you don't mind me sharing all that. Sorry to go off-topic.

YANBU although I can understand how these charities need to be hard hitting to get maximum donations. It's between a rock and a hard place, I'm not sure putting a warning up first or anything would help as i imagine it would still affect the donations.

I know it's not really helping the issue but on a practical note could you use something like a kodi box or Netflix to watch tv? Then you have control over what you watch and no adverts.

Op I was in the same situation as you as a child. But it does not effect me today as it does you.

What happend to you op can't be changed. But theses adverts are there to rais awearness and hopefully stop other children being abused. Have you had any sort of councillors. Maybe you could contact nspcc who might be able to put you on contact with some help.

Yanbu. This kind of crass, cynical, emotionally exploitative stuff is one of the reasons I don't watch TV. It irritates me how careless these charities are of the people who have lived the experiences they are 'advertising'. I don't give to charities which use misery-wallowing shock tactics to raise money.

OP. Hope you manage to avoid it as much as possible and that you're feeling better soon.

I had a mixed bag of counselling, kind of cbt with some walk-through stuff (which was a disaster). We ended up concentrating on the best way to manage symptoms through cbt rather than tackling the issue. Just too much to get through I think for a first set of sessions.

I've never heard of Pottergate or tavistock, I'll do some googling!

yanbu. There are less triggering ways to get their message across imho.

OP. I hope you find the counselling helpful.