Or is the NSPCC?

[Stilltryingtobeme]

I'm seriously considering contacting them. I had a crappy childhood, I have complex trauma, a kind of ptsd. Every time that advert comes on, showing the girl that "just doesn't want her abuser to come into the bedroom that night" I practically have a full blown panic attack.

I know it's meant to tug heart strings, I know it's raising awareness. But I wonder if they realise they're just making it harder for survivors? I'm not the only person I know, it actually came up because someone at my group said it was causing them nightmares.

So... Aibu? Be a bit gentle, it's an emotive subject I know.

Having worked in the charity sector (not with the NSPCC), I don't think they are careless. Survivors will have been involved in the discussion process.
That doesn't mean OP is UR to be upset. It just means not all survivors will be upset and not all survivors will want the adverts stopped because they're upsetting.
Many want to confront people with the reality of what they have suffered. They feel it helps their voices to be heard.

YANBU because these adverts are working on the shock factor, like everything else.
But we have more and more of these 'shock adverts/news/programs' that people are actually betting very used to them and do not react any more. The answer: well something even more shocking of course!
At some point though, they will reach a point where they can't make it more shocking. What will be the next step, I'm not sure but choosing that next step rather than going for the inflated shock factor wouldn't be a bad thing TBH. For everyone, not just the survivors.

YANBU I hate overly graphic adverts, that includes the NSPCC, Animal mutilation etc. There is no need, and it turns me off against donating. I once stopped a £1000 donation to barnardo's because they sent me pamphlets with pics of suicide crime scenes with captions of what had gone wrong in that persons life. There is no need, especially when you're not expecting it. I don't watch any commercial telly live now, just record it all and fast forward through the ads.

There is also another side to this discussion - why aren't the NSPCC showing empowered children who've been supported by their work doing well? Would people still donate to the "good feel" type stories?

Personally I think I'd be more likely to donate if they did that. But I can't speak for others of course

Give yourself a rest from the adverts. Watch Netflix and record your favourites to fast forward through adverts. Would that help?

Sorry but if these adverts raise money to prevent what happened to you from happening to other children, surely that's right?

Sadly these types of ad are the ones that raise money.

Do what I do. Record programmes and watch the recording - then you can skip the adverts. I get upset by a lot of them and I know that I cannot help every charity.

There is also another side to this discussion - why aren't the NSPCC showing empowered children who've been supported by their work doing well? Would people still donate to the "good feel" type stories?

There's a lovely ad for Bernardo's (I think) which does this. I would be more likely to give to them based on this (though I don't, I have to admit, as I already have some charities which I give to and can't afford any more).

I donate to a local children's charity who do highlight the positive outcomes, no idea if I'm typical but that approach works for me.

I flat-out refuse to donate to NSPCC now, after I wrote to them and complained that they'd used a mailshot which looked like a child had handwritten a letter to ask for money so they wouldn't get beaten up. It was very realistic and to a less marketing-savvy person, could cause terrible distress.

They wrote back and baldly told me that that approach got them loads of funds and they were going to continue, so yah boo sucks.

[Compare and contract to a different charity which routinely sends me positives stories about how my donations are helping cure thank you so much and here are examples/links that show what your money is helping achieve. Guess which charity has had a monthly DD for years and has been increased multiple times?]

YANBU. Different circumstance, but my friend was triggered by the London Paralympic trailers showing cars being flipped around. I think positivity is more productive long term (Yes I can! This years empowering trailer was much more effective)

I also think that quiet little Miles being ignored in his cot has done a lot to undermine parenting instinct. We know neglecting a child's emotional needs is damaging (remembers the footage from Romanian orphanages in the 90s), but there are people that take that to leaving any crying as damaging- there's plenty of posts from a parents at the end of their tether who has tried all reasonable steps to soothe the baby and had to walk away for a few minutes for their sanity, now worried that they're neglecting and emotionally scarring their baby. The emotional way that that advert hit undermines rational thought in careful parenting.

My first ever panic attack was triggered by a charity billboard. I was driving at the time and I'm bloody lucky that I didn't kill myself or anyone else. I'd had a clean driving license for 20 years at that point, and prided myself on being a good, safe driver, but I sort of blanked out and drove home oblivious to red lights / pedestrian crossings etc.

Wow, puremince I'm so sorry that happened to you. That must have been terrifying.

And yes, I agree with somewhat that it's gone too far. I do record, forward through adverts or watch online generally but sometimes get caught off guard. I kinda resent having to do it too.

I just think they need a new approach (although won't bother writing as clearly they don't care)

It's not that they don't care. It's that their approach is tried and tested, and as charities they have to spend their advertising budget on the way that raises most funds. Their conversion rates will be highly scrutinised.
Most charities, once you are a regular donor, do send our the uplifting/'this is how your money has helped' stories.
If it will make you feel better, then write. They will take note of how many complaints they get. It's just they will also weigh that against how much money is raised.

I do think that the shock tactics used in some adverts are not thought through whatsoever. I doubt that they will change things by one person messaging but you can try..

It's your trigger and you need to learn to manage it.

I'm a survivor of csa also and I allways find myself frustrated that there isn't greater awareness of csa and how many children are suffering and needing saved from their families. But that's my issue to manage and not demand nspcc put on more advents or that people only give to child abuse charities or that we should only consider this the biggest crisis and fight for politiicons to do something.

I know it's tough learning to manage triggers but ultimately that's our responsibility and any less awareness would result in even more children being at risk. Good therapy, time, self care, it does become manageable eventally.

WooWoo that's it exactly, as a survivor I want people to know the reality, I want them to not be able to hide from what goes on next door or down the street or even under their own roof. I don't like the idea we need to be polite and gentle about the reality of abuse, it makes me feel like I should dumb it down for others sake, hide my horror for others comfort, and I feel really angry about that because it adds to the shame when we need to put that shame back where it belongs- on the abusers.

Abuse doesn't occur in isolation, yes abusers are the guilty ones but society often turns a blind eye or victim blames or makes it impossible for victims to speak out and get help. So I want people to be confronted with the reality, because if I had to live it you have to face it too, because then we might have a better chance of helping the next generation of victims speak up and get help and be noticed. Child protection is everyone's responsibility and children's needs matter more than society's uncomfortableNess (??) with the suffering of abuse victims.

I think if the NSPCC are in the business of helping people, human beings, they need to actually look at the people they are trying to help.

Abused children grow up to be once-abused adults and very hard hitting adverts -are- going to cause pain to those adults. If you're going to run adverts that are clearly going to cause pain, I think you've forgotten the function you exist for.

There has to be a balance, it can't all be fluffy bunnies, but some of these ads go too far.

I hate the NSPCC
They talk to school children about other children who suffer trauma and neglect without any consideration that there are children in the room suffering those
My DD had early trauma. Their talks are not sensitive to adopted children or victims of abuse
And they do fuck all apart from 'education'. They refer real cases to SS who would make better use of their donations imo

I wish the nspcc adverts would actually just say what they actually intend do with the money and how it would help.

Yes, the kids in the adverts are in dire circumstances but other than referring phone calls to ss and fabricating random advice on when children can be left alone or who should really share a room with whom, what exactly do they do?

Sorry to hear these adverts are affecting you. I'm a clinical psychologist - for someone with complex trauma, you'd likely benefit much more from accessing Trauma-Focused CBT or EMDR, rather than counselling, these are the two evidence-based treatments for trauma and PTSD. Does your therapist know that these adverts affect you so much? If you have someone who is trained in using the above therapies, they should be able to do stimulus discrimination work with you which should help you to be less affected by these adverts. There are specialist NHS trauma services in London (e.g. the Traumatic Stress Service at Springfield Hospital) which you could try to get referred to, though your local CMHT should also be able to provide you with this kind of therapy via a psychologist or good CBT therapist. Complex trauma is going to take longer than single-incident trauma to treat and trauma-specific services should be able to provide more longer-term therapy.

my view is if they can avoid it they should. They should be the first to realise how it will impact on victims and there are always other ways to raise funds - just because this way works doesn't make it right

As PP have said, there are other ways to raise funds. The current Barnardo's adverts are very good. I do feel that the NSPCC should be more mindful of survivors of CSA in their fundraising campaigns - fundraising isn't good fundraising if it's insensitively done, it's supposed to make people want to help rather than feel forced into it by their distress or guilt. I work for a disability-related charity and in my (admittedly biased) opinion I feel we strike a good balance between government lobbying and uplifting stories of what donations help with. I must say I agree with PP who aren't massively impressed by the NSPCC's work, although if anyone here has been helped by them that's obviously fantastic.

SeaEagleFeather's post hits the nail on the head.

Have you considered a complaint with the ASA?