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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU amount of Christmas Presents

156 replies

Tryingtostayyoung · 15/12/2016 08:31

Hi all. Just want to gather opinions as me and DH completely disagree.
How many presents have you bought your children for Xmas? Including stocking fillers? We're an average middle class family in a nice area and have a decent amount of money coming in but wouldn't say we're well off but are comfortable.
I think we've bought DD plenty but DH doesn't seem to think it's enough.
My AIBU is the amount I've bought but I don't want to say yet. Thank you!!

OP posts:
K425 · 15/12/2016 09:36

13yo. 8 presents under the tree, ranging between £40 and £10. A couple of things he asked for (Pokemon Sun, Onesie), something he mentioned in passing (Buildabear Branch Troll), some surprises. Stocking currently 8 items, but I suspect DH will have found a couple of little things too.

MerryMarigold · 15/12/2016 09:39

For a 3year old, it sounds perfect OP, but if he'd like to spend more ask him to think of some good ideas rather than just buying stuff for the sake of it.

HughLauriesStubble · 15/12/2016 09:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

unlucky83 · 15/12/2016 09:39

Don't make a rod for your own back!!!
For DD1s first Christmas (at 9 months) I was crazy busy - DP had bought and opened a restaurant at the beginning of Dec and I was studying for a Phd - working full time and we had moved into the house - our first house - just over a year - before just before Christmas when I was heavily pregnant - so we didn't have anything - no tree, no decorations - she got maybe one present and we had a decent meal on the day and the restaurant was closed so we were both around...also we were trying to spend very little in case the restaurant took a while to get established/make money.
The next Christmas (18 month) was equally chaotic - we had a small tree (second hand artificial from my parents - was ours when I was a child - with pound shop baubles) and she got 3 presents - bought from Tescos on Christmas eve with the food shop ...
On the next Christmas I made it up to her - and went overboard. She had a massive pile -lots of stuff I would have bought anyway and stuff from charity shops I had been accumulating over months...but I would say 100 presents -if not more. All from Santa...
So the next year she got less but still a good number - she was kind of expecting it - and Santa knew she'd been good!
I did get it down to 30ish - and didn't spend a lot...then DD2 came along.
She couldn't suddenly get less presents cos of DD2 - and DD2 couldn't get less than DD1 - in fact DD2 didn't really need anything cos she had all the stuff from DD1...I did manage to 'recycle' a few things for her that had been DD1s and had been in the attic -as DD2 got older that got harder and DD1 was more likely to remember -then when DD1 didn't believe in Santa any more DD2 was likely to remember DD1 having it.
This year is probably the last one that DD2 will believe in Santa (she's 9 -I suspect she doesn't really any more anyway) and I can't wait... lots of the stuff are things like pants and socks, PJs, gloves etc..and chocolate things to bulk out the expensive things like phones and computer games.
And they have had big joint presents (a digital piano!!).
But I can't wait to no longer having to wrap pants to make it seem like a big pile ...

Love51 · 15/12/2016 09:40

I'm feeling like scrooge this year. Mine have 2 medium presents (about £10 or 15) and a stocking of 6 things (£12), plus I will add in some chocolate. I had bought more, but have re-designated them as from some relatives who send us a cheque to get presents on their behalf. I've also asked another couple of relatives to buy specific items (because they asked me to guide them, and are very reliable!) So in total they are getting loads, but from us/ Santa, under £40 a head / 9 presents. They are 3 and 5 and have everything they need.
We have got panto tickets, but are going before Xmas, so not a 'present' as such.

Grumpyoldblonde · 15/12/2016 09:42

I remember the fun of buying stocking fillers for my then 3 year old and I went a bit overboard. Her face when she saw the sack of presents...She looked terrified to be honest, I said 'look, all this is for you, she said "No, Nooo" which wasn't really the reaction I was hoping for.
She's 13 now and has about 15 things in the stocking which includes a new funky hairbrush, toiletry bits, fairly practical things but that are a bit nicer/high end than day to day stuff, some books and a couple of DVD's.
Much less to open than younger years but more expensive things (perfume)
I often wish I hadn't gone so crazy when she was young as it has created a bit of an expectation, but when they're young it's so easy to find great things in Poundland (fairy tale books, character bubble bath, normally forbidden crappy sweets) I cant get those kind of things now.

Spudlet · 15/12/2016 09:44
  1. He's one. He's getting a big box of Duplo. His birthday is two days after Christmas, I've got him a book. I might get a little stocking filler thing f we go past our favourite charity shop and there's anything good in there.

I know for sure that his dgrandma has gone bonkers (first grandchild!) so he'll not be shortchanged!

BiddyPop · 15/12/2016 09:48

DD is not getting as much spent on her as last year for Christmas- and much smaller boxes. But still significant enough.

She has already got her birthday present (a much needed bigger bike) which was more than usual - birthday immediately follows Christmas.

She will have about 4/5 smallish (but €€) presents from Santa, and something sensible from us. Her stocking, which is about 18" tall, will slightly overflow as usual with a few fun things, I think I have 4 books in there this year (always at least 1 reading book and an annual/more fun book), and she will get a new pair of PJs on Christmas Eve (Primark).

Looking at the photo above, it will probably be similar to the purple pile. Which is plenty.

TerrorAustralis · 15/12/2016 09:49

It sounds like you have plenty for her.

We have one 6 year old. This year we have bought:
1 large Lego set
1 small Lego set
2 books
1 puzzle
1 Hulk soap on a rope (he loves superhero crap)
I will add in some kind of Christmas themed chocolate or sweets
If I see some small Transformer toys I will get two of those (looking for specific characters).

To me that is plenty. For various reasons I hardly got anything as a child. I don't want that to happen to him, but I am also mindful that he is getting a bit spoiled. We also have limited storage space and he does not want to part with any of the things he already has.

Last year I was putting away bargain buys for months and was shocked to find we had 15 or more gifts for him. That was too many IMO.

CocktailQueen · 15/12/2016 09:51

Genuine question - where the hell do you put 30 additional presents each year?!!

Was this aimed at me? The pressies are things like
postcards
mani/pedi voucher
Lush set 17
CDs
stationery
bubble bath
candle
hoody
books
lip balms
smarties
sweets
notebook
pritt stick
electric toothbrush
treaty food hamper - teabags, hot choc sachets, etc
xmas PJs
rucksack

so most are small, or consumable (food/bath/candle). Many are practical too (clothes, stationery).

I did many fewer pressies when the dc were smaller but now they're older and more expensive...

OP, sounds like you've got it right!

Notso · 15/12/2016 09:53

I haven't counted. Probably under ten items each including stocking fillers. This year I have tried to stick to things they want or I am certain they'll love rather than buying to bulk up.
I've also ditched pants, socks and practical stocking fillers because I don't think anyone was really bothered by them (apart from for my four year old who asked the FC in the grotto for Thomas the Tank boxer shorts) I've put the money I'd usually spend on that kind of thing towards buying more of the bigger presents they asked for.

FrancesHaHa · 15/12/2016 09:57

I found at that age too many presents would just be overwhelming for DD.

Plus if you start giving loads now, it'll only get more expensive as they get older.

Depends though whether you buy things throughout the year. Some children seem to never get books/ magazines/ clothes in the year, so get lots at Christmas , others get these as they go, so don't need these at Christmas.

SatsukiKusakabe · 15/12/2016 10:05

With one three year old that is fine. My three year old is getting more but it's because her older brother is getting more bits so I've matched them. When ds was 3 and our only we went very light as it can get overwhelming.

My dd has about 8.

3 of these are Paw Patrol figures and vehicles which cost around six pounds each and are quite small, a large soft toy from FC, a little doll, a little Lego set, a Playmobil set, a package of three books/activity books and a bed for her doll as a main present, but which was actually the cheapest thing to make. This feels about right for us, when it's been more it's been too much.

Stocking full of bits like hair accessories, toothbrush, new cutlery, small toys, crayons and edible stuff on top.

teenmumandsowhat · 15/12/2016 10:06

I have two toddlers, (ds 2.5yrs, dd nearly 4.) I have got them 3 presents each, and a joint present.
"Santa" has spent approximately £15 per stocking. All in all I've spent about £100. But they do have a lot of wider family that will spend a lot on them, so there is no need for me too.

Fairylea · 15/12/2016 10:07

I haven't counted but have spent about £60 on each of them (dd aged 13 and ds aged 4). I think it's more important they have something they really like than how many things they have to open.

Yesitsmeagain · 15/12/2016 10:10

Cocktail not specifically, I don't think you've been the only person to mention 30 odd presents. But it makes sense if you're talking about a lot of consumables. I'd ask the same question to the pp who said 50 presents for a young DC. I can't even begin to think what 50 presents looks like.

I've gone what I would call overboard in the past (more like 12 presents!!) and I saw the DCs become overwhelmed and spoilt. I've learnt to reign myself in now and the kids know they don't get everything they've asked for, that it's rude to send FC a 'list' but polite to give him a general idea and that some things they might never get because there simply isn't enough time/money/space for any of us to have everything we want.

LittleBooInABox · 15/12/2016 10:15

My DS has about 15 in all, 20 if you count his birthday 2 days before.

LagunaBubbles · 15/12/2016 10:15

My 2 are 9 and 14 and have probably spent about £250-£300 on each of them, main presents are Nintendo 3DS but have picked them both up second hand which saved us a fair bit. probably about 30 each but that can be things like £1 chocolate Santas etc included in that.

We only have my brother in our family who buys them a present each, they dont get loads of other people.

Minivaperviper · 15/12/2016 10:16

I haven't counted but maybe 6 or 7 small things like pajamas, nail Polish etc all the things she would like and one main present which is a small combi t.v tbf I have transformed her room for Christmas to how she wants it and even at aged 6 I made that clear it was a gift when she asked and already a fair expense although managed to more than half the original budget to do it.

My thinking is with the amount of people that will buy her gifts she will end up with more than enough.

Your kids won't or at least shouldn't count and won't care.

SheSparkles · 15/12/2016 10:17

I've not counted the number of parcels but have spent about £300 on each.

QueenofTinyThings · 15/12/2016 10:34

This year a stocking each (spent slightly more on teens) and a main present from DH and I. These were about £100 total each. It was more last year as they had asked for tech gadgets, less this year as they had asked for less expensive stuff.
Its a very personal thing though, and seems to be mainly dependent on your own experiences as a child.

aintnothinbutagstring · 15/12/2016 11:06

I'd say mine have 10, at most, each - that's for a 8yr old girl and 5yr old boy. A couple are joint presents as they like the same video games. All are very personal and good quality things that I definitely know they will use. They may get a few extra from family but I've learnt my lesson in the past and from living in a small place that it's too stressful if we go overboard with loads of plastic tat as there's just nowhere to put it all. I don't really give a crap about comparing what my dc get with other dc as they probably like entirely different things and my dc are not spoilt, they'll be happy with what they receive.

littlemissangrypants · 15/12/2016 11:09

My kids are getting very few presents this year. They are 17 and 15

  • Pc for eldest - he added birthday money and dp will build it to cut costs
  • Laptop - good one for younger lad.
  • a t-shirt each
  • a pair of pjs each - they get one pair each year now as have stopped growing (I hope)
  • a computer magazine
  • a selection box and some biscuits.

I am tempted to add a steam voucher each but that might not happen. They wont have a lot of stuff to open but they wanted new computers as both are or will be studying computing at a-level so need decent machines. All in we will still be spending close to £1600 so I try not to feel like they are missing out in terms of piles of gifts.
In a normal year we only spend £250- £300 on them for christmas and £100 plus small gift for birthdays.

DrowningInPoop · 15/12/2016 11:12

4 or 5 little things in stockings (gold coins, flannel, bath duck, bath bomb and a little toy each), 2 presents from mummy and daddy, one from sibling and one from Father Christmas. On top of that, they will get from 3 sets of grand parents too.

more than enough

Robinkitty · 15/12/2016 11:14

9 and 10 year old have 1 main present each and then 4/6 lower value present, head phones, board games, Xbox game etc.
They have fancy stockings this year though with some credit for their online game and a Christmas Eve treat.
2 year old has a few presents but things like drawing bits, bath ducks and a little doll, I've spent about £60 on her.