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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU amount of Christmas Presents

156 replies

Tryingtostayyoung · 15/12/2016 08:31

Hi all. Just want to gather opinions as me and DH completely disagree.
How many presents have you bought your children for Xmas? Including stocking fillers? We're an average middle class family in a nice area and have a decent amount of money coming in but wouldn't say we're well off but are comfortable.
I think we've bought DD plenty but DH doesn't seem to think it's enough.
My AIBU is the amount I've bought but I don't want to say yet. Thank you!!

OP posts:
Tryingtostayyoung · 15/12/2016 08:55

I feel like my DH always wants to go overboard because they were really poor growing up and he always tells me they just got a couple things so I think that's why he loves to really spoil her on xmas. I don't think he even necessarily wants to spend loads maybe a few books or puzzles or something like that but I just think she has plenty and was wondering what other people do.

OP posts:
GoneGirl1234 · 15/12/2016 08:58

The amount of presents sounds about right to me. If DH wants to treat them, how about planning (& financing) a day out later in the holidays or early in 2017? (Thinking something like Legoland or Harry Potter Studios or similar local attraction).
My BIL has asked us if we would be able to do this (we're taking them to a children's ballet & for afternoon tea) because his DDs get SO many gifts from various family members that on Xmas day it's a frenzy of ripping wrapping paper off and immediately discarding presents. I'm really happy with this because I get chance to spend a day doing something lovely with DNieces (and BIL & SIL are happy to have a day to themselves!) and hopefully DNieces will enjoy themselves and remember the day out with us (I don't think they remember presents we give them, they just get lost in the mass of gifts from family + Santa!)

SVJAA · 15/12/2016 08:58

I think if you're spending within your means then a few extras won't do any harm. That said, we went all out last year (DP had a promotion) and half of it didn't get used, so I donated it to the local baby bank.

Yesitsmeagain · 15/12/2016 08:59

I found with mine at that age they easily became very overwhelmed by a huge pile of presents.

I'd say it's silly to buy extra, just because you don't think there's enough. Because a 3 year old isn't going to look at her pile and think you and DH are a couple of tight arses.

This year my DC (5&7) have got 3 medium sized toy presents, books, dvds, so 5 presents for under the tree then in the stocking there's about 8/9 things but really small stuff like diaries and bath bombs. I know that will all fill their sacks and I'm really happy that this year I've got them stuff I know they'll be really happy with without going mad.

I have gone over board some years and regretted it.

Agadooo · 15/12/2016 09:00

Mine are 7 and 9- both have a stocking with sweets n fancy pens n bouncy ball n joke stuff. Separately they each have a large gift bag with a book set, an annual and maybe 6 medium size presents each-board games type things.

2014newme · 15/12/2016 09:01

About 30 each Inc stocking fillers

Yesitsmeagain · 15/12/2016 09:05

When mine were toddlers I used to do one 'big' present (bike/scooter), 3-4 ' 'medium' (doll, teaset etc) then always some new lego a new puzzle and some books. So possibly up to 8. It was too much and would spoil the day IMO. Now I'd rather get them just a few bits of tat off their 'list' then throughout the year get them bits and pieces I think they could do with or are educational. I find it puts much less pressure and commercial expectations on to the birthdays and Christmas.

Hersetta427 · 15/12/2016 09:05

Mine have 3 presents each plus a stocking which has about 10 items in (all off which were sourced from poundworld (but include some nice items like nails inc polish, maybeline lipgloss and burts bees lip balm which I managed to pick up from the poundshop too).

CocktailQueen · 15/12/2016 09:05

It totally depends on the value of the pressies. Have spent about £250 on each dc but they have different numbers of presents. DD has 26 (including stocking pressies), ds has 33.

How many have you bought??

Yesitsmeagain · 15/12/2016 09:07

I'm really shocked at some of the numbers here. Genuine question - where the hell do you put 30 additional presents each year?!!

pishedoff · 15/12/2016 09:10

Ds1 has got about 9 ( not including a few little bits in stocking )

Ds2 has about 12 (again not including stocking)

Ds2 has more as he's still into toys and generally there's better offers around so I'll get a little more for my money. Ds1 is hard to buy for so this year I've gone for nicer versions of every day things. So for example, posh boxers, expensive Tshirt etc. He's a nightmare to buy for!!

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 15/12/2016 09:13

Mine have 2 presents each from me.
BUT: They have lots a relatives buying from them and some of those relatives will go quite badly overboard.
If it was just me buying, I would be aiming for about 10 gifts each- enough to make an impressive looking pile.

irregularegular · 15/12/2016 09:18

Since they were about school age my two children have always had 5 presents each from us (though a bundle of 3 books might count as one...) and 10 stocking presents (but proper small things for a couple of pounds each that fit in DH's hiking socks). Plus pjs on Xmas eve. They also get a present from my dad and both my sisters (DH's family don't generally do Xmas presents). I think it is fairly modest but enough. They are very happy with it. Some of their friends get a lot more but many don't. We're not constrained by money but I don't like the day to be taken over by opening huge numbers of presents. Big presents (bike, outdoor equipment are often bought when they are needed, not for Xmas).

waitingforsomething · 15/12/2016 09:18

My children are 4 and 17 months. They have 3 main presents each from us - 1 expensive-ish gift, plus 2 smaller ones, plus a stocking with 8-10 small items in. They then receive gifts from their grandmas and other family members so do pretty well I think.
I cannot justify spending beyond the disposal income that has been set aside for this - I think they have plenty and it is similar to what I received as a young child.

Mamabear14 · 15/12/2016 09:20

2 eldest (10&12) have 7 each. One big present (Xbox and iPad) and smaller ones like games for Xbox etc. 1yr old has 9 presents, spent about £200 on her blocks, aquadraw, puzzles, books, doll. She has a toy kitchen coming from her nan so I've got her some food to go in it too. No stockings as the elder ones never use what I put in it! I will do them again once youngest is old enough for stuff to go in it. I save through the year as we have a large family and start buying in July.

Crumbs1 · 15/12/2016 09:20

We also go with want, need, wear, read and always have. I do worry reading some other posts that the world has gone mad with child centricity. How spoilt are some children going to be and how does a mountain of stuff they don't need make their lives happier or help them understand the meaning of Christmas?

I do stockings which remain fairly constant. A satsuma, some chocolate coins, a chocolate orange, socks or tights, knickers or pants, hair elastic, toiletries - nice shampoo and conditioner or shower gel. A book. A magazine or comic, something silly like a joke or kazoo. A DVD or computer game. £5.00 colouring pens or stationary.
My husband does main presents and is somewhat indulgent, in my opinion. Things in past have been new upgraded musical instrument (expensive but needed anyway), Mac books on entering sixth form, bicycles, a sewing machine, a Wendy house, a climbing frame with swing, new high sleeper beds, dolls pram and high chair, remote control car, PlayStation. They only get one real biggy.
Then we do needed stuff that gets an upgrade as it's a present - coats, boots or shoes, foreign currency for trips, military uniform upgrade, suitcases or rucksacks.watches. School bag or handbag. Nespresso coffee machine. Sailing gear, rugby gear, fencing gear, ballet gear.
In total I would imagine we spend more than we should but much is stuff we would buy anyway. About £5,000 in total realistically - but that's for six children.

belleandsnowwhite · 15/12/2016 09:20

I think it is about 20 for my teen and 4 year old however about 10 for my toddler. Its more than they usually get as my teen is into art so gets supplies for christmas, and my 4 year old has outgrown a lot of her toys. Usually they get about 6-8 presents.

Starduke · 15/12/2016 09:23

My boys and 2 and 5.

They have 13 presents each including what's in the stockings. Several presents aren't toys (jumper, socks, chocolate, books).

We try to limit what we give them so they don't get overwhelmed (aged 15 months DS1 got 36 presents one year and didn't even want to open them all) plus they get more from grandparents and uncle.

We don't spend a fixed amount and don't spend the same on each one but I do make sure they have the same number of presents. DS1 hit the jackpot in terms of money this year as he got a bike, but DS2 is getting more toys (and inheriting DS1's old bike)

itsonlysubterfuge · 15/12/2016 09:26

My child is 4 and I'm really embarrassed by the amount of presents she has compared to the rest. We are a family on benefits and my DD gets spoiled. I haven't counted her presents, but I'm guessing she has around 50 and that doesn't include the stocking or all the books I bought for her. Blush
At least I can happily say that nothing I bought her was full price and have been bargain hunting for the presents since September.

Peanutandphoenix · 15/12/2016 09:26

I haven't gone over board this Christmas like I normally do because there are some many people to buy for instead this year everyone is getting money so that they can get what they want instead of me getting them crap that they don't want or need in total Christmas has cost me £160 £20 pp for the adults and £10 pp for the children and my 3yo neice is also getting a charm bracelet that I will add to every year better than getting people crap that they won't use.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 15/12/2016 09:26

"How does a mountain of stuff they don't need make their lives happier or help them understand the meaning of Christmas?"

I'm not a "mountain of presents" person myself so I see where your coming from but I have to take issue with this "meaning of Christmas" stuff.
It's a celebration in the absolute dead of winter that calls for roast meat, rich fruit cake and copious alcohol. Do you think this was easily affordable for a medieval peasant or a Victoria factory worker?
Arguably: going overboard is the meaning of Christmas. The present mountains are just the modern version of the same thing.

drspouse · 15/12/2016 09:26

where the hell do you put 30 additional presents each year?!!

I don't think mine have 30 presents each but there are probably 8-10 things in their stockings but as these include:
A clementine
Chocolate coins
Probably a chocolate Santa
A sticker book/colouring book

it's not that hard to find somewhere to put them - in their tummy, wrappers in the bin! Or on the table to be stuck in/coloured in, then in the recycling!

Nan0second · 15/12/2016 09:26

£40 total on 2 gifts. She's only 18 months so doesn't know any different and has extended family that will get her another 8 gifts or so so she won't go without!

SEsofty · 15/12/2016 09:27

Three presents and a stocking. Stocking rather than sack

Verbena37 · 15/12/2016 09:36

Our two are each having a new laptop because our laptop has almost died and DD needs a student one for GCSEs.
Apart from that, I have bought little chocolate gifts they like, a necklace for DD and book for DS. DS has ASD so will be putting some bubble wrap and sensory toys in his stocking and DD has also has a new fandom tshirt she wanted and a lipstick.

Their stocking fillers won't add up to much though because of the laptops.