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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I BU with my partner this morning ?

79 replies

thetwocultures · 14/12/2016 08:52

Small issue but I'm questioning myself.
I work PT evenings and DP works FT anything from 7/8 am to 6/7pm. I usually get home late due to public transport (about 11.30pm) x2 a week after his training DP can get me from work and then we get home at 9.30pm.
He picked me up yesterday we came home and stayed up for a bit, pottered about etc and we went to bed there was plenty of time for him to say if he needed something.
(I usually iron him a shirt or 2 for work when he tells me he needs them.)
So this morning he walks into the bedroom after his shower me still asleep, puts the lights on as he's with DS who woke up and starts getting dressed. He realises he doesn't have any ironed shirts and starts his little huffing and puffing, I ask him if he wants me to iron one now and he says there's no time and he thought I did two for him the other day ( I didn't & he never asked for 2). So he just puts on a shirt that was hanging up in the wardrobe and grumbles something about not having cufflinks like WTF he has lots lying around somewhere but I'm no cufflink keeper if he's implying it's my fault.
He finishes getting ready, comes into the bedroom to put his shoes on and complains saying he looks like a 'tramp'. I say that you can't really see creases on the shirt, it just has the normal creases of an ironed shirt that has been worn if that makes sense?
He just shakes his head and says I need to get DS because he needs to leave, I barely stretch in bed and DP just sets off downstairs with a distraught 20mo following after him (DS can get down the stairs fine) so I jump out of bed without being able to put anything on as I'm thinking DPs just going to walk straight out and leave upset DS on his own downstairs I get there and DPs at the door and I tell him he doesn't have to be like that I didn't even have a chance to put my robe on to which DP says exactly this "you just don't get it I'm sorry but you don't" and says bye and leaves.
AIBU to think he should tell me if/when he needs shirts since I've agreed to iron them for him and he knows I hate ironing I'm no mind reader and don't know what he does on set days (he's self employed) and he shouldn't huff and puff about it when it's too late?
He'll probably deny acting funny later but usually when we're all up before he leaves he'd say a proper goodbye and DS a kiss and a big cuddle not just make a bolt for the door.
I know this is a childish issue compared to the ones on here but was IBU? Should I just always make sure DS has ready shirts and clothes for work even if he doesn't need them because he works long hours? Or am I right in waiting for him to tell me if he needs them like he would do before when he'd tell me e.g. "I need 3 shirts for this week" and I'd just have them ready for Monday for him.
I'm just sick of feeling like he's trying to make me feel guilty Blush

OP posts:
dizzygirl1 · 20/12/2016 14:15

Ironing isn't my favourite either but i still manage it, with 2 kids and working full time-yes people have it far worse than me. I wonder why he keeps them there? Strange but then again i couldn't imagine letting him walk out in an un-ironed shirt i'd be too ashamed! As i say its just my opinion not law!

thetwocultures · 21/12/2016 09:25

He keeps them there because he prefers to have more room for them "he likes to see what he has" apparently rather than digging through a wardrobe. He's got one of those long racks up there where he hangs everything that needs hanging etc.
I offered to quickly iron his shirt before he left (and let me point out the shirt wasn't really creased anyway and once he had his blazer on you couldn't see anything) but he just said there's no time now because he was in a mood.

OP posts:
aintnothinbutagstring · 21/12/2016 10:39

My dh does his own shirt and trousers in the morning. I don't really see the issue, he only has himself to get ready in the morning whereas I have myself and two children to get up and ready to go on the school run, their breakfast, uniform, lunchbox, any school admin. I also work part time and manage to get myself showered dressed and work clothes washed/ironed, usually whilst sorting tea for the kids as I'm on nights.

aintnothinbutagstring · 21/12/2016 10:42

My dh will often get up early for work, then spend half hour on the laptop checking random shit, then run around madly complaining he's late, I just smile and nod, it's not my problem.

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