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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To as long whose side you'd have been on on this train?

96 replies

WanderingNotLost · 13/12/2016 13:41

Apologies in advance, it's a Daily Mail story

Personally I think it's bad form to not move your bags if people need seats but to be fair, if it had been me on the receiving end of the "I'm carrying a baby, you have to respect me" line it would have got my back up!

OP posts:

7SunshineSeven7 · 13/12/2016 22:54

She should have asked for someone in a different part of the train for a seat - she shouldn't be in first class if she hadn't paid specially like everyone else in there and I've never been in first class anywhere in my life.

This: ''I'm carrying a baby you have to respect me.'' would have made me tell her to fuck off whether I was in first class or not.

She also said there was priority seating for pregnant people and disabled people. She was neither of those things.

user1477282676 · 13/12/2016 22:58

That elderly woman was RUDE! And I'm not one to claim all Mothers have more rights than anyone else.

I think she was racist and that's why she said "elders and betters" the lady with the baby coped admirably and I am glad a man offered for her to sit near him.

Secret He DID sound dishy and charming! I once had a man like that run across the railway bridge from the opposite platform because he saw me about to carry my pram up the stairs...he pelted like a top runner shouting "Non! Non!" he was French!

Then he hefted my pram up and down the stairs. Sigh. My toddler DD walking alongside us said "I LIKE him Mummy!" and I thought "Me too!"

Jeezypeepers · 13/12/2016 22:59

But not everyone in their HAD paid first class prices 7, the train had been declassified!

user1477282676 · 13/12/2016 22:59

Sunshine the "first class" aspect had been decommissioned and anyone could sit anywhere that day because of issues elsewhere which had meant cancellations.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 13/12/2016 23:01

Priority seating is also for people carrying children. There is no way to tell if there were seats anywhere else and for the last time the seats were declassified!! So essentially there was no longer a first class. So she had every right to be in that carriage and every right to take a seat. The woman with the bags had no right to refuse a seat to anyone (let alone a woman carrying a baby) unless she had paid for two seats. If the train suddenly stopped and the woman and baby fell because the other woman wanted her bag to be on a seat would you find that acceptable? If so I think you really need to get a grip of your priorities.

7SunshineSeven7 · 13/12/2016 23:03

Ah right, well then I see why she was annoyed and the lady should have let her sit down since the bag was the only thing in the way, I think if the train was full and she wanted a person to move I wouldn't have tbh.

I think the whole ''you have to respect your elders thing'' (which I hate also) was because she had just said ''I have a baby you have to respect me''.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 13/12/2016 23:06

The "I have a baby, you have to respect me" was not a great response but can you imagine yourself in this poor woman's position that you are on a crowded train and you are carrying your baby and all you want to do is situated down and some horrible.lady starts bullying you in this way and some others join in? She must have felt quite vulnerable and flustered and it seems that English was not her first language so perhaps one badly worded comment is understandable when she has been put on the spot and trying to defend herself. Personally I would not have coped as well as she did and would probably have been in tears.

wasonthelist · 13/12/2016 23:07

"you have to respect me"

No, I really don't. I give respect to people who deserve it, not because they tell me I have to.

OTOH It's not up to me or anyone else to Police who sits where unless they're in my reserved seat.

Bloke who offered her a seat was a good egg all round, but I wouldn't have bothered.

BurningBridges · 13/12/2016 23:16

What about her just getting that empty seat because that was the right thing to happen? Because that was the moral thing, the kind thing, the ordinary and sensible thing to happen?

7SunshineSeven7 · 13/12/2016 23:22

I'm sorry but she said ''I have a baby you have to respect me'' and people joined in after that comment.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 13/12/2016 23:22

Apparently that doesn't apply anymore.

The whole thing could have been completely avoided if the first woman hadn't acted like a complete tit and just moved her bag in the first place.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 13/12/2016 23:28

I don't think that's clear, 7. That's the point that filming begins, but I'd guess something happened before that in order for another commuter to start filming it.

7SunshineSeven7 · 13/12/2016 23:31

I think people just film any time anything happens in public - all I can know for sure is that during the video, she made that comment first, then the woman sitting down made her comment, then people joined in.

Like I said, she should have been let sit down due to the class thing being stopped and that bags were the only thing preventing her from sitting down, however if she had said that to me and wanted a person to move (no matter what class it was) I wouldn't have done, simply because of her attitude.

BurningBridges · 13/12/2016 23:37

Well, I would have let her have my seat if I was physically able to stand because - and here's the thing - she was carrying a baby. An infant who could easily be hurt by the mother stumbling over if the train stopped suddenly, a woman who had a child in a sling is going to find it hard to balance and stand up.

I might have said "that's uncalled for" as I gave her the seat had she been rude, but I'm a normal person so I do normally stand for people carrying babies.

And lets not forget, all she did was ask the other woman to move her bag FFS.

Strewth.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 13/12/2016 23:42

7 you are far too fixated on that comment. It was clear she had already asked if she could sit and the other lady was causing an issue and not moving her bags which she had no right to do, she was entirely in the wrong.
Ultimately the baby being carried would be safer if the mother is able to sit down as she has less chance of falling and injuring the child. There is a spare seat. There should never have been an issue. To say you wouldn't have moved your bag because she made that comment is very selfish and self important of you, the child's safety is more important that whether you agree with the mothers one comment.

7SunshineSeven7 · 13/12/2016 23:45

If you had read what I actually put you would see that I said she should have been let sit down because the only thing in the way was the bags (and the class thing wasn't in use).

I said if I was in the seat and she wanted me to move and had that attitude then I wouldn't. Please read my comments properly before accusing me of saying something that I didn't.

BurningBridges · 13/12/2016 23:47

7 - I don't think your attitude is anything to boast about!

7SunshineSeven7 · 13/12/2016 23:48

How am I boasting? I'm simply stating an opinion

DontTouchTheMoustache · 13/12/2016 23:53

But she wasn't asking a person to move so that comment is irrelevant

Lovewineandchocs · 13/12/2016 23:56

user yes I wondered too if the older lady was racist. She was being a total dick. I love how pissed off she looked when gorgeous-voiced man offered the mum a seat and everyone clapped

PonderLand · 14/12/2016 00:18

I'm shocked that someone else joined in to keep on sticking the boot in. She handled the situation much better than I would of done, and thankfully someone defended her before crowd mentality really took full effect.

Seriously, it's a seat fgs, it's empty, what's the issue!? I had to sit next to a dog last week on the bus and I'm allergic, I never even uttered a word.
I just wouldn't have it in me to refuse any one a seat, young or old.

YelloDraw · 14/12/2016 00:34

I can't believe this is even a question.

First class kid declassified.
Woman carrying baby tries to sit down but a selfish cow bag won't mover her bags.
Is there really a debate on this??

YelloDraw · 14/12/2016 00:36

Do people really think it is R to not move your bags when people need a seat?

Doughnutsmademefat · 14/12/2016 00:38

The train company said that first class wasn't de classified.

Doughnutsmademefat · 14/12/2016 00:40

Trying to find the link.

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