Annoyed at school - new indoor shoes required for tomorrow

[ThanksForAllTheFish]

DD is really upset. It's just taken me 20 minutes to get her to calm down and make sense. Apparently her indoor trainers are no longer suitable for school because they have a bit of sparkle in them and she needs new plain black plimsoles for tomorrow as it's the dress rehearsal of the nativity play.

Now this is a huge problem for me. For one I don't drive so the thought of trying to drag DD to a shop at this time of the evening via the bus is a pain. That's not to say I would even be able to find suitable shoes that would stay on her skinny D/E width feet or anything left in stock at this time of year without ordering online.

For the past three years we have visited every shop known to man to find suitable black plimsoles and all without exception are too wide (clarks narrowest are an F before someone suggests them) Tesco/Asda/Sainsbury's/deichman/m&s etc all flap about and rub her feet.

The school uniform rules state 'all children should have indoor shoes ie: plimsoles or trainers' and that is it. Nothing about them needing to be black or plain or anything like that. Also nothing has been said before now about the suitability of her indoor shoes.

Her indoor shoes are all over black trainers with a Velcro fastening in a style that is narrow so stays in her feet but they do have a sort or silver glittery thread through the mesh bit at the toes. The little padded collar bit is also black glittery but for the most part her school trousers cover it so it's really the mesh toe area that's the problem. They are not excessively sparkly or neon or blingy etc. They are not a brand name or expensive but they fit her and are relatively plain. I bought them in the size she was in August and the size up (she is now in the bigger size due to her feet growing recently- so new the shoes have been worn for 2 weeks)

So now I have to magic a pair of shoes for 9am tomorrow that fit her and are plain black - apparently the plain white school style trainers sold in most supermarkets are also unsuitable.

I'm seriously pissed off about this. More notice would have been good and perhaps they should have made it clearer in the uniform policy. I would say she can just wear her normal school shoes tomorrow but that is a big no no and she will also get into trouble for that.

The headteacher said at assembly there will be 'no exceptions and any child without plain black plimsoles will be excluded from taking part in the play'

I'm actually getting really angry the more I think about it and trying to figure out the logistics of getting to a 24 hour supermarket, sticking 3 pairs of socks on her feet tomorrow and hoping for the best.

My other alternative would be just to keep her off school and scour the shops with her tomorrow to find shoes (tomorrows nativity is a dress rehearsal and will be watched by the older children and the local nursery - DD also doesn't have a speaking part so it won't be a huge loss to the play if she's not in). The proper for parents nativity is on Thursday and Friday so at least I might find something suitable and she can join in with the main shows. I would hate to take her out for something this trivial but I don't want her excluded tomorrow as I know she will be very upset about it.

So AIBU to be so annoyed about this?

I am planning to speak to the headteacher about it because I feel that more notice should have been given and she also should update the school handbook and website if she has changed the rules to plain black plimsoles only.

Could you black marker pen the sparkly bits?

Or even a black stick over th offending mesh?

Can you physically get to a supermarket? You only need to get something she can walk in for the school plays. She can wear her trainers for PE next term.

Very annoying, but stressing never helps.

Have you missed a letter about this as unless the head is a complete idiot (unlikely but not unknown) a lot of notice tends to be given for this sort of thing?

Go and talk to teacher first, sometimes kids take things the wrong way

Fuck that for a game of soldiers!
If this is the first you've heard of it and their uniform policy doesn't specifically state plain black trainers then I'd be telling the head to jog on.
And also to tell the head that if your child is excluded from any aspect of the play you will be making a formal complaint.
And I say this as a teacher! That's completely unreasonable and bloody ridiculous.

Just send her in the shoes she already has.

I'm a teacher and I really wouldn't want a parent stressing over it. If they were that bothered they'd buy spare pairs.

I'd be very hacked off at the lack of notice (and I have a car and not much on this evening).
Excluding a child on the basis of an item of costume (as these requirements are over and above the school uniform) is some pretty thin ice. I'd definitely challenge the head if she considers it appropriate to exclude a child from a school play because they are not in a position to buy an item of clothing at such short notice.
But .... as it's not fun to be left out for your DD. Anyone who could possibly lend some old plimsoles? I know I've got 3/4 pairs in each daughters wardrobe barely worn in various sizes for eg.
Perhaps someone has some in a size that would do (also my daughters have a pair adjustable velcro strip but they are standard plain black - i think they're from the "boys" section at shoezone or something).

I would take her in tomorrow and say exactly what you have here. However its possible sue has the wrong end of the stick and that its people with completely different shoes they mean not her at all. So speak to the head tomorrow morning

Black socks over trainers?

I second the marker pen over the glittery thread

Please talk to the school about this before you let yourself and your daughter get more upset.

Similar to other post, you could cut the feet off an old pair of your black tights and put them over her trainers for the show. I've done this before and worked well.

Or option 3: go and speak to the school.

Hi op, I really do feel your pain DD was a c fitting through primary until she reached a size 2 adult at which point I couldn't even get them

Point out to the school that if she has to wear pumps that don't fit this is an accident risk and that if you are forced to comply and an accident occurs they will now be liable!

A tip I would give you is look at the supermarket ones as the cheaper they are the narrower they are in my experience of the search

A few years ago I did find some quite skinny ones in Sainsbury's but that was about 6 years ago

The black 'scuff stuff' or shoe polish with a sponge end might be the answer, as a variation on the marker thing/

Hairy - I did think of that but they must be plimsoles. Apparently all children's shoes were individually checked by headteacher and offending children told to take shoes home and to return tomorrow with plimsoles.

Saucy - yes I think I will go to the 24 hour supermarket once DD is in bed and buy a pair. I really don't fancy dragging a 7 year old out at this time of night.

City- I don't think I've missed a letter. The last one had all the nativity play details - £2.50 per ticket 3 tickets per family - no parms allowed etc. It also had the Christmas fayre details on it along with specific details on exactly what donations were required (no home baking or used toys - all donations must be new items and cakes shop bought) All children must bring in at least one donation or they would be excluded from the non uniform day etc.

Honestly I think it's just the headteacher being a bit of a prat. She only joined the school last year and had form for this sort of last minute stuff. The old head teacher was really nice and have lots of notice for stuff. The school is in a mixed catchment and she understood that a lot of parent would struggle with last minute costumes / funding etc. I will check DDs bag again but I'm sure I haven't missed a newsletter.

I would just go speak to the school tomorrow but the play is in the morning and I don't want DD left out.

I've just text another mum about it and she said her DD confirmed that some of the children were told at assembly today they need to bring new shoes for tomorrow. Her DD was ok because she has plimsoles already.

I will go out and get some tonight but I will be speaking to the school tomorrow to let them know such short notice is not on.

Black duct tape over the sparkly bits.

Are you absolutely sure that your daughter's shoes are not acceptable? It reads as though the headteacher made an announcement in assembly, and that you've had to drag this information out of your daughter but you don't mention receiving an actual letter or email yourself. Has your daughter been informed that this applies to her? There may well be kids wearing shoes with logos, large coloured portions or that aren't actually black, to whom this would apply.

It's unacceptable if it does apply both in the short notice and in the fact that they don't appear to have provided specific contact about this requirement. As some previous posters have said, I would making a complaint if she was excluded from the nativity on these grounds.

Oh ffs.

Hasn't the head got a school to run as opposed to flapping about some plimsolls.

Ffs.

Madness.

That is absolutely not on.

DS has incredibly narrow feet & it was impossible to get plimsolls to fit. Even normal shoes were an issue.

I would definately be waiting outside the heads door the second school opens tomorrow.

Saying that last year DS lost his school shoes during the dress rehearsal of the school musical. In order that he could look acceptable to sing the next day for a senior citizens Xmas party hosted by school I did go out and buy the only pair of cheap black shoes from matalan even though they were far too wide with strict instructions that he was to wear his trainers the rest of the day & change into shoes just for the party.

However itvwas his fault not the schools that he lost his shoes.

"It also had the Christmas fayre details on it along with specific details on exactly what donations were required (no home baking or used toys - all donations must be new items and cakes shop bought) All children must bring in at least one donation or they would be excluded from the non uniform day etc."

What a miserable control freak that head sounds.

I've just rechecked the handbook as it's been updated a bit but still does not specify the colour of the shoes. It even includes a paragraph stating no child will be deprived of any educational benefit for not having the correct uniform- see screenshot- Madness indeed.

Caroian- DD's indoor shoes shave been sent home with her in her bag this evening. I was working and it was one of the first things she told me when I got home (well that and how delighted she is they have no homework this week).

I've also rechecked the bag and found a newsletter dated with today's date. 12/12/16

It gets better - children are also required to wear a shirt and tie and not the logo poloshirt (99% of children wear the poloshirt rather than the shirt and tie option). So now I need to go find a pack of blue shirts and buy a tie from the office tomorrow morning (unless I can miracuasly find the one I bought 3 years ago that was worn for 2 weeks and ditched in favour of the poloshirt). It also states all children should wear black plimsoles and trainers are not permitted to 'maintain high standards'

Not even a full days notice given.

Wow, i would be complaining!
I'm normally leaning on the teachers side, but this head sounds massively unreasonable!
What if you don't have the money?
'Only new toys and shop cakes' or excluded from non uniform day?
I think i'd send her in with the shoes she has and quote the frigging handbook to her