Annoyed at school - new indoor shoes required for tomorrow

[ThanksForAllTheFish]

DD is really upset. It's just taken me 20 minutes to get her to calm down and make sense. Apparently her indoor trainers are no longer suitable for school because they have a bit of sparkle in them and she needs new plain black plimsoles for tomorrow as it's the dress rehearsal of the nativity play.

Now this is a huge problem for me. For one I don't drive so the thought of trying to drag DD to a shop at this time of the evening via the bus is a pain. That's not to say I would even be able to find suitable shoes that would stay on her skinny D/E width feet or anything left in stock at this time of year without ordering online.

For the past three years we have visited every shop known to man to find suitable black plimsoles and all without exception are too wide (clarks narrowest are an F before someone suggests them) Tesco/Asda/Sainsbury's/deichman/m&s etc all flap about and rub her feet.

The school uniform rules state 'all children should have indoor shoes ie: plimsoles or trainers' and that is it. Nothing about them needing to be black or plain or anything like that. Also nothing has been said before now about the suitability of her indoor shoes.

Her indoor shoes are all over black trainers with a Velcro fastening in a style that is narrow so stays in her feet but they do have a sort or silver glittery thread through the mesh bit at the toes. The little padded collar bit is also black glittery but for the most part her school trousers cover it so it's really the mesh toe area that's the problem. They are not excessively sparkly or neon or blingy etc. They are not a brand name or expensive but they fit her and are relatively plain. I bought them in the size she was in August and the size up (she is now in the bigger size due to her feet growing recently- so new the shoes have been worn for 2 weeks)

So now I have to magic a pair of shoes for 9am tomorrow that fit her and are plain black - apparently the plain white school style trainers sold in most supermarkets are also unsuitable.

I'm seriously pissed off about this. More notice would have been good and perhaps they should have made it clearer in the uniform policy. I would say she can just wear her normal school shoes tomorrow but that is a big no no and she will also get into trouble for that.

The headteacher said at assembly there will be 'no exceptions and any child without plain black plimsoles will be excluded from taking part in the play'

I'm actually getting really angry the more I think about it and trying to figure out the logistics of getting to a 24 hour supermarket, sticking 3 pairs of socks on her feet tomorrow and hoping for the best.

My other alternative would be just to keep her off school and scour the shops with her tomorrow to find shoes (tomorrows nativity is a dress rehearsal and will be watched by the older children and the local nursery - DD also doesn't have a speaking part so it won't be a huge loss to the play if she's not in). The proper for parents nativity is on Thursday and Friday so at least I might find something suitable and she can join in with the main shows. I would hate to take her out for something this trivial but I don't want her excluded tomorrow as I know she will be very upset about it.

So AIBU to be so annoyed about this?

I am planning to speak to the headteacher about it because I feel that more notice should have been given and she also should update the school handbook and website if she has changed the rules to plain black plimsoles only.

Fuck going to shop. Send her back in with polo t shirt and shoes she has with a print out of the page you showed us wishing the whole school good luck with their dress rehearsal.

I always find when complaining about these things that being a bit passive aggressive helps.

Eg. I am sure that dd has got the wrong end of the stick because no reasonable person would give less than 24 hours notice & exclude her from the play etc. And I'm sure that such a good inclusive school would not discriminate etc etc.

That's bonkers!

Ds can't wear pumps so has white trainers for PE. The other children wore their pumps for the school play so the school sensibly just put ds in his black school boots instead. I can't say his feet massively stood out or distracted from the play.

Ok I'm currently in a group text with a couple of other Mum's who are all as annoyed at the short notice. I'm waiting on a text back but I might have a pair of plimsoles that one child has outgrown and potentially a school blouse too - she's just away to check the bag of outgrown stuff.

Tie I can get from the office tomorrow if I can find the old one.

I'm generally not one to complain to the school over trivial things but I think I will make the exception for this. I suspect there will be a few children tomorrow who turn up without the shirt and tie or the right shoes.

For future reference we found that StartRite plimsoles (at twice the price of any others ) are the only ones that fit ds1's gazelle- like feet.

Isn't primary school uniform non enforceable?
Dds teacher shouted out at the end of school that they needed a black tracksuit top for pe next week. Must be black! I searched all over for a plain black top but couldn't find one in her size so I asked if a dark blue one would do until I can find one? Oh yes, that's absolutely fine, don't buy a new one! Err why say it then?

Honestly, I would send her with them as normal tomorrow and tell her to phone you if they have any issues.

They are taking the piss giving you so little notice, especially considering it isn't that easy to sort it out given you can't drive and her feet are an awkward size.

Seriously, sod them! A black trainer/plimsoll is a black trainer/plimsoll.

We had similar this year. My dd was sent home with her PE trainers on the first day as they went plain black. My dd is a C width fitting . Her feet are like matchsticks and she's really sporty and doesn't want to be hindered by giant flapping shoes. We ended up with the startrite ones and sheepskin insoles to make them as shallow as we could.

Dear lord. Why on earth wouldn't she be fine in black socks if they don't want a multitude of different footwear distracting the audience.

Ridiculous- and I am a Primary teacher.

Wow that's bad. Our school governors would go mad if our head started doing that. Luckily she's sort of the opposite way.

What was that guff about paying to see the play??!! And no second hand toys or homemade cakes? Who the fuck do they think they are?!

Honestly I would send her in with a note saying you are not able to get replacements at this time of year and if it's a really huge problem you will provide black socks to wear over the trainers for the play. I assume this is primary and there isn't going to be scouts for some movie there or something?

Add on your note that the headteacher is welcome to call you if it's really imperative that plain black plimmies are provided ten days before we break up for Christmas. At which point you can explain everything you've put here and ask if she's seriously considering excluding your child for something out of both her and your control.

I am usually on the side of the teachers but that is absolutely ridiculous . They are massively taking the piss. And upsetting the children. Sounds like a massive power trip but you hear so much shit from schools about uniform these days. I would also send her in with a note and would encourage other parents to do the same. Then I'd go to the governors.

Geez new Head is a bit of prat with short notice, let alone ridiculously short notice!!!

Looking at those rules I'd be tempted to send in a boy in open-toed, high-heeled shoes.

And why are "anti-religious" slogans picked out as an example?!

Thanks for the startrite tip. I will try them for plimsoles - I think it's the only place I've not tried.

Well the good news is the other mum has found the blouse and plimsoles so we won't be without for tomorrow. Just a quick change of uniform required in the playground tomorrow morning.

I think I'm just overly pissed off with everything as it's so close to Christmas and our finances are already stretched as it is. I've had to replace school shoes already this month due to growth (they still require black leather shoes for walking to and from school and at breaktimes). DD has also grown in height so new trousers and logo polos just bought at the end of November. The offending trainers are also new (although bought in advance) so I'm annoyed at having to replace them already.

MovingOn - yes we pay for all plays and shows the children perform. The ticket prices have gone up this year. Last year they cost £1.50.
I don't know why no used toys requested this year. Maybe they got too much tat last year? The cake thing is apparently for health and safety reasons as they don't want the responsibility if someone gets ill from homebaking.

And why are "anti-religious" slogans picked out as an example?

It's Glasgow.

IcedVanillaLatte - I suspect the anti religious slogan thing is given as an example because we live in Glasgow. Unfortunately there is still a big problem with sectarianism and the whole Catholic/Protestant thing in Glasgow. I'm pretty sure it's something all Glasgow schools are required to state in their uniform policy.

But yes to the open toed, high heels for boys .

Ah, thanks for the explanation! I'd forgotten about that.

I'm glad you've pulled something together. The HT sounds a right prize prat.

Last week, there was a school in the news that had a new academy uniform for this September. They then did badly in their OFSTED inspection triggering a new HT and academy chain, so after less than one term, they were changing the logo items again and expecting all but the final year to be in new uniform in January, graciously providing each student with an item each There's been a partial back down following the backlash, with current uniform still being acceptable for this year. Even so, items can often last 2 or more school years.

I despair of the current education system and its priorities.

I can't help for tomorrow, but my DC both have C width feet. We have success with PE pumps made by a very cheap brand called Dek, from the market, Amazon and local independent shoe shop. Plain black trainers we've had from Tesco online, and added a thick insole.

The headteacher personally checked all the children's shoes? FGS. What an officious thing to do (and what a colossal waste of time).

I know you've got things sorted for tomorrow. But in your shoes (har-di-har), I think I would have just ignored the directive from on high and sent her in the plimsolls she was wearing today.

I agree in some ways dot, problem is it is the dd who will get the row at school for ignoring the instructions.

Glad you are sorted op, still it's worth an email to the Head about short notice demands being unreasonable.

We tried the plimsoles on her this morning and they are far too wide. I'd taken along the insoles from her boots and stuck 2 pairs of socks on her so they fit a little better but I still feel they are a trip hazard.

I asked in the office to have a quick chat with the head but she was too busy this week because of the nativity plays and I could make an appointment to see her on Monday. I did have a word with the class teacher to say the shoes are really too big and DD was to change into her normal trainers again after the play. The teacher was understanding and seemed embarrassed by the whole situation to be honest, so I think this is just the head on a power trip.

I think my new plan is to head to the shops straight after school today (I'm not working so we have time) and find a pair of plimsoles that are suitable. I noticed clarks have a newer Mary Jane style this year so they might be a bit better fit. The shopping centre also has a Debenhams, M&S and a couple of sports shops so I'm sure we will find something.

I have think we will just use the offending trainers as her out of school trainers now (she needs new ones any way) and get plimsoles to live at school. I don't fancy having to go through this again in a few months when they do the Easter show.

I've been searching online for a picture of the offensive shoes but can't find them. I think we got them from H&M. I have linked this pair as they are similar but ours don't have the star in the side and the sole is not as chunky. I would say the toes are on a par with the 'bling' level.

Plimsolls? High standards? What planet is the Head on? I had a DD with narrow feet and the best way to support children's growing feet is via properly fitted shoes, not cheap canvas plimsolls or trainers for that matter.

Any Head that fusses about uniform to this extent is asking for trouble. They really should have more important things to do. In fact he definitely has, but may not know it - which is worrying! No, he cannot disqualify children from a Christmas production because they do not have plimsolls. Stand your ground. Take her into school, let her go to her class, then ask to see the Head. This is bullying parents, unreasonable and unacceptable. He does need reminding about how to treat the school community in order to get the best out of people and maintain a happy school.

Also, on no account send your DD into school with black tights over the offending shoes. She will be laughed at and will never live it down. Black pen will be far less obvious.