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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry that 34 is too old for a career change

48 replies

Worriedaboutdh1 · 12/12/2016 19:49

I'm worried about DH.

He's 34 and for the last 3 years has worked in a care home on a zero hours contract.

He graduated with a degree in media studies aged 22, and was swiftly taken on a graduate programme, it was basically his dream job and he was doing really well, earning good money

Then something really awful happened, and as a result he became very ill. The rest of his twenties were spent doing NMW jobs, bar work and the like.

He also has a diploma thing in management, but the company folded and he can't access his certificates

He's been getting really down and stressed about money recently. I work two jobs and can't earn any more at the minute, though in another couple of years I will hopefully be in a position to be working at a professional level.

DH goes to work, comes home. He's great around the house and with DC, I have no issues there. But I can see him getting in to a rut and he's losing even more faith in himself. He's painfully shy, though you wouldn't know it to talk to him.

We had a big chat about it the other night and he's emailed half a dozen charities /companies about doing volunteer work. He would like to work in mental health eventually, but not at the carer level he is now. He is happiest when working in an office type environment really.

I'm just so worried that he's left it too late. We have very little money for him to retrain and he feels like he just doesn't have a clue where to start.

How can I help him? Has anyone any experience of this?

OP posts:
Trills · 12/12/2016 19:51

A 34 year old has more years left to work than they have worked so far.

They may have more years left to work than they have LIVED so far.

oblada · 12/12/2016 19:53

Just to say: no experience to share but imo 34 is definitely not too late!! He may well work until he's 70 so plenty of time ahead of him. Your job/career is a big part of your life, you need to ensure you enjoy it! I've seen plenty of people retraining later in life from nurse to barrister, from consultant to teacher etc definitely worth a try!! X

Sukitakeitoff · 12/12/2016 19:56

When he is 44 or 54 and still has many working years ahead of him, he will look back and wonder why on earth he thought 34 was too late to change. It really really isn't!

It does take courage though - it often feels easier to keep plodding on. (Wish I would take my own advice but I'm still plodding...)

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 12/12/2016 19:56

I started a completely new career in my 40s. I do things now that hadn't been thought of when I started work. With the way the world works these days people will be changing careers every few decades. It's no big deal.

4men1lady · 12/12/2016 20:01

Definitely not too old.
When I did my nurse training, there were a few more mature students in our intake, I'm talking late 40's, some early 50's.

Sallystyle · 12/12/2016 20:01

I hope not. If I decide to go ahead I will be doing my nurse training when I'm 38.

grounddown · 12/12/2016 20:03

I hope not! I'm 34 next month and just about to start the 3rd year of my OU degree so by the time I've done that I will be 36, both DC in full time shool and will be time to start looking to change my career.

My dad owned a business that folded in the late 90s, he volunteered with a mental health charity so he had something to do with his time and is now high up in management earning way more than he ever though he would having completely changed his career in his 40s. He loves his job and still volunteers when he can.

JeepersMcoy · 12/12/2016 20:05

I'm 34 and planning a career change. Hoping to go back to uni in september. As others have said I figure I have about another 30 odd years of work ahead of me so why not?

My dad did a complete change of career in his late 40s and my mum was a regular career changer into her 50s. It's really not to late!

AfroPuffs · 12/12/2016 20:07

I don't see why he needs to do voluntary work, if he has already worked in a care home and wants to work in an office setting. He should just bite the bullet and apply for support worker, care home assistant mgr type jobs? I don't really know much about opportunities in this space but he already has a degree and the management qualification. Not having the certificate isn't necessarily a problem. I work in HR and if something is on a persons CV we don't really ask for proof...we can spot the scammers a mile off.

Smellslikeoranges · 12/12/2016 20:08

Not at all, but when I tried to change my field slightly at roughly that age I kept on getting knocked back. I think that I was being ignored for younger less experienced graduates. But when I retrained for a different career I got a job easily. So I'd recommend retraining or getting an additional qualification if possible. I know am a cynical old socialist but employers like 'em young and cheap or inexperienced and cheap - older and inexperienced is not attractive. But once he's got that first job in a career area he is happy in then he can progress.

JeepersMcoy · 12/12/2016 20:09

On a practical point he can get a second student loan if he studies nursing so maybe consider mental health nursing degree? You don'tt start paying off the second loan until you finish paying the first one and earn over the threshold, and the loan amount it actual more than the bursary they had previously so it is much more affordable in my opinion.

OhForFrigSake · 12/12/2016 20:10

Nope! I retrained and set up my own business 2 years ago aged 33. It's doing really well and I've never looked back. It's never too late!

JeepersMcoy · 12/12/2016 20:11

Surrey, just realised you said office job. Really should read more carefully! Blush

VladmirsPoutine · 12/12/2016 20:12

It is certainly not too late but I'd advise him to balance the volunteering with his current care work so there's still some money coming in.

manateeandcake · 12/12/2016 20:15

I am 39 and retraining in a career related to mental health. Also used to work in media stuff. I'm so happy I took the plunge; it means I'm broke compared to most of my friends, and my DH has to support me in a lot of ways, but I'm so much happier now that I'm pursuing something I find rewarding and I can picture a future where I'm fulfilled and contributing financially to the family as well.

In short: I don't think 34 is too old at all. YANBU to worry because if your DH does it, it will demand a leap of faith and some sacrifices from you. But if it leads to him being happier long term, I imagine it will be worth it.

Original poster
Worriedaboutdh1 · 12/12/2016 20:22

The thing is, because he already has a degree (that is pretty much unusable now) it really limits things like going back to university. We just couldn't afford it.

The nursing degree is a possibility. I didn't realise you could get that funded. I'll mention it to him

He's volunteering because he wants to get as much different experience as he can. Also because he needs to meet people and build confidence outside of home and work.
At the minute he's working with elderly people with dementia but would like to know more about younger people with different mental health issues/addictions

He's a very hard worker and has been praised for how incredibly methodical he is- he doesn't cut corners in anything, he's incredibly patient and gentle with the people he works with and has been really highly praised by his employers. But he's just been stuck at this level and he's tired and doesn't know what to do next and it's stressing him out, which makes it worse

OP posts:
Original poster
Worriedaboutdh1 · 12/12/2016 20:25

Manatee - if you don't mind me asking, what are you retraining through? If that makes sense? College? Uni? What's the course? Sorry I'm being nosy. One thing DH has said is that it's difficult to know what to pursue... There's so many different courses out there and the criteria for jobs varies a lot

I don't mind us being broke, we are fairly skint now, and he's supported me in the past.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 12/12/2016 20:29

I changed my field of work on my late 40s and gained further qualifications in my 50s in order to branch out and supplement my job with self employment. At 60 I was discussing career development and increased responsibilities with my line manager today.
He has plenty of time to develop.

manateeandcake · 12/12/2016 20:31

Sorry, Worried, but it's impossible to be much more specific without risking outing myself. I am training to work directly with clients rather than in an office, though. It's hard to think of office-based careers in mental health that would pay reasonably.

I think volunteering is a good idea. I volunteered with two different organisations before I began training, and I learned loads about what my strengths are and what I wanted to pursue.

alphabook · 12/12/2016 20:34

Volunteer work in an office based role in a large mental health charity could be really good experience for him. DH did volunteer work for a charity (after a long period off work due to mental health issues) and he now has a paid job with them. He's been supported to gain additional qualifications as part of his current role to help his career development.

SheepyFun · 12/12/2016 20:36

My DM retrained as an accounting technician (evening classes), going back to work after a 12 year career break when she was about 40. She ended up very senior (and well remunerated). So it can definitely be done!

kierenthecommunity · 12/12/2016 20:37

I just became a police officer aged 44. So it's a no from me. 34 is a baby Grin

Superc3228 · 12/12/2016 20:38

Think there is still a bursary for social work training, he could do a shorter masters course as he already has a degree. He could specialise in mental health or older adults. He could possibly also look into unqualified roles in social work teams (adult/mental health) there would be office based but also involve possibly working with care homes, using his experience. He could see if he could shadow someone at the local council, get a feel for it maybe. Best of luck to you both x

Klaphat · 12/12/2016 20:41

Medicine is another degree you can get a second set of student loans for, and care home or similar experience would actually be crucial. Might be worth looking into, if it's something he is otherwise qualified for (or could become so) and interested in. It's insanely competitive to get into, though. And doctoring in the UK isn't looking so hot right now to be honest.

HandbagCrab · 12/12/2016 20:42

You can get student loans for post grad masters now if you don't already have one. There'll be plenty of mental health ones and he could do shifts around uni - my career change masters was a day a week or look into distance learning/ online courses. Life's too short not to give it a try :)

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