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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To worry that 34 is too old for a career change

48 replies

Worriedaboutdh1 · 12/12/2016 19:49

I'm worried about DH.

He's 34 and for the last 3 years has worked in a care home on a zero hours contract.

He graduated with a degree in media studies aged 22, and was swiftly taken on a graduate programme, it was basically his dream job and he was doing really well, earning good money

Then something really awful happened, and as a result he became very ill. The rest of his twenties were spent doing NMW jobs, bar work and the like.

He also has a diploma thing in management, but the company folded and he can't access his certificates

He's been getting really down and stressed about money recently. I work two jobs and can't earn any more at the minute, though in another couple of years I will hopefully be in a position to be working at a professional level.

DH goes to work, comes home. He's great around the house and with DC, I have no issues there. But I can see him getting in to a rut and he's losing even more faith in himself. He's painfully shy, though you wouldn't know it to talk to him.

We had a big chat about it the other night and he's emailed half a dozen charities /companies about doing volunteer work. He would like to work in mental health eventually, but not at the carer level he is now. He is happiest when working in an office type environment really.

I'm just so worried that he's left it too late. We have very little money for him to retrain and he feels like he just doesn't have a clue where to start.

How can I help him? Has anyone any experience of this?

OP posts:

RandomMess · 12/12/2016 20:51

Funding for nursing has ended I believe, I think Sept 16 was the last entry for that?

There are new initiatives coming along such as working and doing your nursing training along side it - just like it used to be...

Toohardtofindaproperusername · 12/12/2016 20:52

34 definitely not too old .. But what's his dream job? Sounds like he's in care work after something difficult happened. So, is it thus type of work he likes, or does he want to get back into the field he was in, or similar? You say mental health n office work which sounds a little strange unless I'm missing something. Sounds like a bit more digging about what he really likes/where he sees himself would be helpful. But def not unreasonable to retrain in 30s or 4os or beyond. It's time and money you need tho, n they are hard to find.

HSMMaCM · 12/12/2016 21:12

I changed career and retrained in my late 30s, so definitely not too late.

19lottie82 · 12/12/2016 21:16

I got made redundant at the age of 34 and went to college to study plastering! There are loads of city and guilds courses that can set you up for self employment - If your income, as his partner is less than 24k then he will get about £450 a month bursary , and it's possible to get that again in hardship funds if your incomings are still not meeting your outgoings.

I am in a Scotland but I imagine the scenario would be fairly similar in england, for non advanced courses like that.

lapsedorienteerer · 12/12/2016 21:20

YABVU

LoveForTulips · 12/12/2016 21:22

I haven't read all the other comments, but i often think of career changing, but i'm just not brave enough yet. In my workplace, its surprising how many new starters we have, people in their 30's and 40's wanting a change.

I would also like to mention that i have a friend, who has no formal qualifications in marketing or events, she volunteered for various charities and is now doing this is a profession. So even thought his certificates aren't accessible, doesn't mean he lost that skill/knowledge.

basically, IMO you're never too old. Best of luck to him!

Sallystyle · 12/12/2016 21:35

There are new initiatives coming along such as working and doing your nursing training along side it - just like it used to be...

Tell me more. I had heard a rumour but nothing concrete.

Babyroobs · 12/12/2016 21:38

It is not too late. I am 48 and about to embark on a brand new career in the new year, albeit on quite a lower salary.

RandomMess · 12/12/2016 21:44

U2 I think it will take a couple of years before it's out there and happening.

BBC reported Nursing Apprenticeship to start Sept 17

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-38146395

Babydontcry · 12/12/2016 21:47

When I started to train as a mental health nurse I was one of the youngest at twenty five, most people were in there forties, a couple in fifties and even one person in sixties. In my opinion definitely not too old to retrain.

CurbsideProphet · 12/12/2016 21:49

I just changed my job completely and I'm 31

EZA15 · 12/12/2016 21:51

I'm following this thread with interest. I'm 32 and was literally wondering this today (if I'm too old for a career change as I'd have to start as an administrator again)

Scottishthreeberry16 · 12/12/2016 21:54

Social work seems an obvious career. A 2 yr MA or he could try Frontline where he'd get paid. It's intensive but he may well be okay with that. He is still very young

Blossomdeary · 12/12/2016 21:58

I changed career at the age of 50 - it was a high risk strategy as one of our children was still at school and my OH's health meant that he could only work part time. But I have never regretted it - I had 10 years doing something I loves, following on from career that was worthwhile but was making me ill.

I am now 68 and the years seem to have flashed by - so I will say to you seize the day while you are young. Support and encourage your OH to find fulfillment in his work. We only get one chance at life.

notmaryberry · 12/12/2016 21:59

I changed my career completely at the same age. I did the same thing, volunteered for a charity to get experience / foot in the door and through that made contacts and got a job. Best thing I ever did.

thedogsvagina · 12/12/2016 22:03

Sorry OP but what a silly thing to say. Your DH has at least another 34 years of work in him yet. That's time to re-train multiple times. However, it's really something that he needs to do for himself. Of course you can support him to re-train but he really needs to find something that motivates him to want to make the effort. Sounds like he hasn't found that yet.

Gillybean76 · 12/12/2016 22:11

My dad changed career at age 49. Best thing he ever did. He went from a massively stressful job in finance to management in the NHS. Still stressful to a degree but a change was what he needed. And it led to him becoming self employed once he retired.
Now he runs a small business from home related to what he used to do. He's 70 next month and showing no signs of stopping!

DailyFail1 · 12/12/2016 22:30

Mental health nursing is a bitch to get into, as you need to have your placements just right. Has he considered counselling? Even something like NLP would benefit a lot of people.

suchafuss · 12/12/2016 22:33

Superc's advice sounds good and no not too old. When I qualify as a social worker I will be 50. Bursary for years 2&3 but as suggested he could get on to do a masters and work at the same time and seems to have the right experience.

CozumelFox · 12/12/2016 22:33

I'm about to career-change at 34. As in, jack in the previous stuff, wipe the slate clean, start at the training academy/school in the new year and... well, voila. Totally. New. Direction.

I've mused many things but 'am I too old?' hasn't come up. Because I'm 34, not 74.

Hoooowever, I would suggest he perhaps gets a really clear concrete idea of where he wants to go and how he needs to get there. Will volunteer work really land him that dream job? Could he identify the dream job and then see what qualifications are required?

suchafuss · 12/12/2016 22:34

Oh and if he fancies social work there a number of different schemes such as Step up to Social Work that may be of interest.

NormHonal · 12/12/2016 22:35

Not too late.

I'm early 40s and a couple of years into my career change. Wish I'd taken the plunge sooner, but it's going well!

UnidentifiedUser · 12/12/2016 23:47

He could book an appointment with the National Careers Service for advice.
If he wants office based but in the mental health field then maybe he could consider other supporting roles such as Housing Officer, Employment Advisor for ESA claimants, Social Worker.

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