To be annoyed that people assume my dc have different fathers because there is a large age gap?

[catsarenice]

Just that really - lost count of the number of people who ask if dc1 still sees her Dad or comment how nice it must be for dp now he has his own child!

People assume all the time.
I have 5 and have actually been asked if they are a "full set"
I think people speak before thinking I wouldn't take it personally.

People used to ask me if mine both had the same dad as one had blonde hair and one brown ! People are daft

I had this when I was pregnant with my youngest. Our other children were 8 and 10 at the time and the midwife said 'take it this is a new partner then?'
Random assumption!

People can assume all they like.. however there is nothing wrong with having a child with more than one man so why let it worry you?

Why does it matter?

Yes had that as our boys are 10/11 years older than the girls.

One woman actually complimented dh on how good he was with 'my' boys ha ha

No man with sense would have hooked up with me and those muppets so pretty glad dh stayed around after we had them.

What is the problem here ?

^Do they have the same fathers though?

Sorry but i had to ask. Just because it annoys you that people assume it doesn't mean it's not true.

How big is the gap?
My eldest is 10 years older then my youngest and I never got that. How weird?

I think you need to just try and ignore them. I have almost 7yrs between mine and prole are always amazed at how similar they look- a polite way of saying 'didn't realise they had the same dad' or they just ask me outright. Doesn't matter really, I don't have the same father as my sisters. Just try and ignore them if you can.

What's the age gap nosey. I have almost 5 years between dd1 and dd2 and a childminder asked me if dd2 was an accident. No, just 2 mc in between.

It's just annoying that people I have known for a while are suddenly saying things like 'I didn't know you were married before!'. I then end up going into the whole explanation of how we didn't plan such a big gap but I had numerous pregnancy losses etc. I know I don't have to explain but end up doing so anyway. Need to learn to just say they have the same dad and leave it at that I guess!!

The specific assumption wouldn't annoy me in itself (who cares if siblings are full or half siblings?) but that level of intrusive personal remark is a bit much in general.

9 year gap

It would annoy me as well.

Pagwatch are you saying op is lying?

oh don't worry , I was asked once and my children are twins...

I laughed like a drain...

Never feel the need to explain in detail unless you really want to. Just smile enigmatically and say 'well babies just come along when they are ready, don't they?'

To be fair DS1 does have a different bio dad to DD and DS2 and I'd still be pissed off with people asking. That said, people don't tend to ask/comment because I've been known to be a gobby cunt to people passing PA or judgy comments about my family.

I can understand the annoyance. I have a friend with three children, the eldest is much older than the two little ones. She once went to a new dentist accompanied by her eldest and her youngest. The dentist greeted her by saying, "So which one was the mistake?" The things people allow themselves to say.

That's an extraordinary and rather singular interpretation of my post Aqua.
Is there a reason my question made you so hostile?

It's a weird assumption. A very large gap might just make someone ponder the reasons for a big gap but it seems an odd thing to reach for.

Yes, it's odd which is probably why it is pissing off the op.

I was a bit by that too

Yes , it's odd. Which is what I said

If the gap was 20 years it might just about make someone guessing the reason understandable. Still rude and doubly so to assume rather than ask.
But a huge gap might make it fractionally less odd.

Mine have different dads.

I get the opposite everyone thinks DD2 is DH's. Whenever anyone says anything like has dad got you those sweets etc she corrects them.

I regularly get this too!

I have a 6 year gap between dc1 and dc2, and a 7 year gap between dc2 and dc3.

People are surprised as they are all mini clones of dh- seems the silent assumption is they must all have different fathers due to large age gaps/ that I was young when we had ds1.

It is mildly irritating but ho hum, I try not to let other people's judgments bother me.