Ladies night out and I wasn't invited

[splendidglenda]

I know I'm being unreasonable. I just feel sooo hurt. Mum's from my sons school have posted pics all over fb of their meal out last night. I actually thought I was good friends with them. Especially a few of them. I invited a few of them and their kids over to mine last week and we had fun. Can't shake the hurt feeling. I know it's silly.

I wasn't invited to their meal out last night.

Meh. I just need to get over it.

Was it a whole class thing? If so, that's very rude. If not, I'm more relaxed about that kind of thing

Maybe it was arranged by one of the Ines you're less friendly with? Or it's a historical set group that always does a Christmas meal together or has a set email group that they resent to. I'm sure it's just something like that.

*ones

Facebook has a lot to answer for. Just think, before fb you probably wouldn't have even been aware. But yanbu to feel a bit hurt and left out.

Was it all the mums or just a few of them?

It was a large amount of mums from both reception classes. My ds is in one of those classes. Sounds like a real first world problem but I just feel hurt. I guess it's worse because I had a few of them over last week and thought we were all good friends.

I'd be hurt too (no idea whether that's reasonable or not) but you know there's nothing you can do about it 😕.

I use FB, but it's a PITA when this sort of thing happens - without it, you'd have been in blissful ignorance!!

Is there something that they share that you do not? Same nursery etc.? If not, I'd feel the same. Not much you can do about it.

Damn FB.

I can understand your upset at seeing these pictures.

Were all mums invities? Could it have been an oversight that you were left out?

I'm on maternity leave and wasn't invited out for my works Christmas do last night. I pop in to work regularly with my baby as it's a children's centre and no one mentioned it, saw all the the pics on FB this morning including one of a colleague who's on long term sick leave! I sympathise with you OP it does hurt to be left out, even if they thought I wouldn't want to go they should still give the option!
It's mean of them not to have invited you given you hosted them recently.

I can understand your upset at seeing these pictures.

Were all mums invitied? Could it have been an oversight that you were left out?

I'm sorry, OP. That's really crap. I've been there. Keep your head up. It says more about them than you if they didn't invite you.

That really is crap - no wonder you're upset. Is there someone who was there who's nice enough and you're close enough to that you could ask them about it? It would be embarrassing as hell, but at least you'd know why - and it was probably just someone cocking up and forgetting to ask you.

It's a crap feeling, and that's why I do not have FaceBook. If you did not know about this you'd be happy, ergo - no FB

Yanbu. They're probably on an email group or a whatsapp chat, and just invite everyone on that and forget about the others. I'd find out from one of the nice ones how they all stay in touch, citing reasons of homework and cake bakes etc, and then quite shamelessly say 'please can you add me', in public, to the admin, whilst standing in front of her with your phone. They have to add you or look like a mean girl. Works a charm!

Yes it is rubbish, been there to. One of the departments I work with had a 'whole' department lunch a couple of months ago, I found out a couple of days later. I admit I did upset someone 2 years ago but had thought we had moved on from this, obviously not. They have done this a few times now.

Keep your head up - it does say more about them than you. When I have been asked by management why I didn't go I just say I was not invited and leave it at that

Oh I hate it when this happens. I don't blame you for feeling like this. Even if it was unintentional to not invite you, what are these people thinking splashing it over FB? If it's not an 'everyone invite' then they know someone is going to see those pics and feel like shite. But proving they have a wonderful social life is more important, apparently.

Agree with people about FB. Why do people feel the need to go out, then post a pic on FB to show other people who weren't there that they went out? Why not send each other photos if they must. It's like they feel the need to prove they have a social life. They are the sad ones really.
Don't blame you for feeling upset - it's shit to be left out, especially when you've made the effort with them.

We went out on Friday. Back in October we set a date but lots couldn't come. Anyway, I have 3 dc and undoubtedly missed mums out from the invite. Not intentionally but two year groups of mums is 120 parents! Often it is more about who happens to be part of the conversation when planning begins. Try not to be offended

It was probably the case of someone thinking someone else had invited you and vice versa (bit complicated but you know what I mean) - sure there's just been an oversight, not that it helps when you feel stabbed seeing these photos - so sorry OP

It's natural to feel hurt, but it could be just a genuine oversight on someone's part. Don't take it to heart.
As pp suggested, maybe find out who organises the group, and get your name added in.

To the poster not invited by work, that is a sh1t thing to do.

I guess it's worse because I had a few of them over last week and thought we were all good friends.

So you never had all of them over and someone might have felt left out? It happens.

If you are close to someone on the night out say to them it looks like they had a great night and you are up for joining in if they go out again..

Is it possible the mums all have older children who are friends, or as PP suggested, all the DC went to the same nursery and your child didn't?

I am sure it was something like that or they just forgot and people were asking "Where is glenda all night.

Bloody facebook!