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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to say mn is potentially putting people at risk

149 replies

LilQueenie · 11/12/2016 00:56

twice I have gone to post something but stopped myself out of pure fear it will end up viral in the papers or magazines. It used to be a place to find support and advice. Now it feels like russian roulette. Not helpful at all.

OP posts:

WannaBe · 11/12/2016 14:42

"There's a massive difference between sharing a personal story on a parenting site and it being picked up by the DM." no, there isn't. They're both internet platforms, they're both equally public. make yourself identifiable from the information you post on MN and it can be identified wherever it's read. And the reality is that if someone is in an abusive relationship for instance, there's every likelihood that their controlling partner knows that they post on MN and can read their posts there anyway.

"It's also disingenuous to imply MN couldn't do something about it. They could. They choose not to and that reticence shifts the focus from being a site to support parents to a site to provide journalists with human interest stories. Change the strapline to the latter and posters would definitely be aware of the risk they take when posting here." I think it's important to note here though that over the years, when it's been suggested that certain areas of the site be password protected/members only it has been the users who have objected on the basis that "someone wouldn't be able to post here in the event that they suddenly found themselves with nowhere else to go. It's only now that people are starting to question this fact, and to blame MN HQ when actually, users have always wanted this to be an open forum which anyone can come to at any time.

My thoughts on MN ever being considered someone's only source of support aside, it's somewhat disingenuous for users who have most likely stumbled across this site, and many of whom have posted their personal stories here knowing that it's a public platform, to start blaming MN for the fact that the information they chose to publicize on the Internet hasn't been kept private.

londonrach · 11/12/2016 14:49

Yanbu. I post less after a dm story breaks. Forget mn is being watched then post again. Im boringly normal so hope under dm radar. Think dm should be banned from using mn stories.

Wolverbamptonwanderer · 11/12/2016 15:12

Whilst I agree MN don't appear to be bothered by lifting I think you also need to bear in mind it is horrifically expensive and risky (the paper and their cronies would be out for MN for eternity and could easily take them out- a bully scorned and all that) to take a paper to court to stop them publishing a story or retract in a meaningful way. There isn't really much MN can realistically do.

crashdoll · 11/12/2016 15:31

I don't understand why people think MN is any safer or more private than any other form of internet posting.

UneducatedCockwomble · 11/12/2016 15:49

add a line in the T&C that says things aren't to be used and published elsewhere

When you join a social media website you should check that website’s terms and conditions to ensure that they are not allowing the website operator to do something with your photographs that you do not want. Their terms and conditions may allow them to use your images for commercial purposes or make your images available for others to use, without your prior permission or notice.

www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/481194/c-notice-201401.pdf

WannaBe · 11/12/2016 15:52

Well, for all those saying that MN is more private than the daily mail, there's currently a thread in active where it appears one of the people being posted about has discovered it and is now posting on it. It hasn't been published in the DM fwiw, and yet there this person is.

People need to get real.

Oh and, iirc MN have published books over the years which contained quotes from posters here. There was outcry about that as well, yet it's clearly stated in the T&C's that once you publish here it becomes MN property.

WetsTheFinger · 11/12/2016 15:54

But they won't know who you are so why does it matter? All they have is a website name.

WooWooSister · 11/12/2016 19:18

MN and the DM have vastly different audiences in both size and demographic. If you take into account brand recognition and advertising costs, then it's blatantly obvious that the DM and MN are not the same.
It doesn't mean you couldn't be outed on MN. It means statistically, if you appear on the DM, you are more likely to be outed in RL.
The whole point of this thread is that MN isn't a safe space.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 11/12/2016 20:35

The increase in dm lifting stories has made me a lot more cautious about what I post, so I don't post threads asking for advice that I might once have and also adjust my posts giving advice to contain less personal information. I think it is a shame as I'm obviously not the only one, so the support the site can offer is reduced.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 11/12/2016 21:26

"I don't understand why people think MN is any safer or more private than any other form of internet posting."

People are just taking a little while to catch up crashdoll. Many Mumsnetters have been posting on here since the start or for at least 10 years. The online world has changed at a rollicking pace in 15 years and the Daily Mail have only started lifting threads in earnest in the past, approx, 6 months.

So surely it's not that hard to understand?

Chickpearocker · 11/12/2016 21:31

Agree feel that there should be a private area of the site where you need to have so many posts before joining etc, getting ridiculous now. Shame on mumsnet they know exactly what they are doing.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 11/12/2016 21:36

So surely it's not that hard to understand?

I would have thought that the whole concept of what posting on a public forum means (ya know, that the public can see it) wasn't difficult to understand but there you go...

ReallyTired · 11/12/2016 21:49

It's naivety to think that there can be a private area on such a huge site as mumsnet. There is a staggering 9.4 million users a month. The number of readers of mumsnet is more than many newspapers.

www.mumsnet.com/info/aboutus

WooWooSister · 12/12/2016 10:02

As a direct comparison, the DM has 199.4 million unique users per month ie 190 million more than MN.

user1480946351 · 12/12/2016 10:08

199 million?

I think not.

ReallyTired · 12/12/2016 10:13

9 million is still a lot of people. I am surprised that the daily mail has so many readers. 199.4 million seems rather high to me. There are only 330 million people in the world who speak English as their first language. 942 million can speak English as a second language. A lot of the developing world do not have access to basics like electricity, yet alone the internet.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_languages_by_total_number_of_speakers

Chickpearocker · 12/12/2016 10:31

Reallytired don't you think mumsnet are actually using this as publicity themselves at our expense. Are you saying there is no way around this? I for one have been out of posting surely that's not right ? Where else can I go for support?

WooWooSister · 12/12/2016 10:36

DM figures from ABC for 2015. It doesn't matter what you think. ABC are the recognised industry body for readership, users and audience figures.

ReallyTired · 12/12/2016 11:05

"Where else can I go for support?"

How do you think people coped before the internet? Make friends at the local mother and toddler group, nct group, neighbours etc. The reality is that posting on mumsnet means that anyone with access to the internet can read your posts.

I am sure that mumsnet are happy to be referenced in a newspaper. It means more money and more advertising revenue.

user1480946351 · 12/12/2016 11:08

Reallytired don't you think mumsnet are actually using this as publicity themselves at our expense

Have you ever heard the phrase "if you're not the customer, you're the product"?

Pretty accurate here. You're NOT the customer, you don't pay for using MN. You are the product. You're whats being bought and sold.

ReallyTired · 12/12/2016 11:25

Mumsnet makes its revenue from advertising and so does the mail online. They both want to be a household name. The Daily mail and mumsnet are surprisingly similar.

The customers of mumsnet and the Daily Mail Online are the companies who advertise there. Both websites want to maximise their number of users to be attractive to those who want to advertise.

I am flattered that anyone thinks the garbage I write is worth publishing in a national newspaper. However it's a symbiotic relationship. I enjoy both mumsnet and the online daily mails website without directly paying. If someone thinks my half arsed comments are enjoyable to read then i don't care.

GravyAndShite · 12/12/2016 11:59

Have you ever heard the phrase "if you're not the customer, you're the product"?

Oh I like it!

Natsku · 12/12/2016 12:02

It is annoying that the DM lifts articles (I had a little go at one of their journalists the other day about it) but as far as I'm aware they don't lift any sensitive ones so not sure how it can be putting anyone at risk. If you are worried about being outed then namechange for any posts of a personal nature.

Chickpearocker · 12/12/2016 13:33

Reallytired that's the thing the advice I get on mumsnet I wouldn't get in real life. There's many reasons for that. One is that people here are brutally honest, I find that people on here really know what they are talking about, I guess that's the great thing there are so many people with different experiences on this site that you will always find someone to help you. in all honesty I think a lot of people on this site come on for support. As for the name changing yeah I see your point but then there are details which could always click with someone and out you.

The fact is people do post when they are vulnerable and it's just not fair that this is happening imo

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