To not get upset when people I don't know die...

[bibbetybobbetybooo]

Ok - so I've been had a go at by someone because I don't get upset when I read/hear about famous people who have died.

They're not my friends/relatives, so why would/should it upset me?
Yes - I feel very sorry for their family but that's it.
I'm not going to let it affect me.

Is that wrong of me?

I had a discussion with the person who said this to me and asked if they feel the same about some non-famous person dying.
Apparently not as 'they haven't made a difference to the world'

I feel that a death is a death, irrespective of fame...

I agree with you on the whole, I'd never felt particularly sad when someone famous died, although I felt empathy for their family. But then Prince died, and for the first time I felt terribly sad. I was a fan, so I guess it felt more personal than most

No, of course it's not wrong to not be upset. YANBU.

Actually, I think it's weird that people do get so upset unless the person who's died had a very profound effect on their lives.

Neither of you are wrong or right here.

I'm the same as you in that I don't get upset about the deaths of people I don't personally know.

However, I know some people who do...and I'm not talking about the online grief porn types who claim to be 'in floods all day'.

But having said that, I wouldn't be questioning myself about it just because I'd had a discussion with someone who felt differently.

So I suppose my question is, why are you asking "Is this wrong of me?"

Agree with Arf

YANBU

I don't cry either. And find it weird that people cry for some but not others. Like their lives are worth less. People die all the time.

So I suppose my question is, why are you asking "Is this wrong of me?"

The OP said someone had a go at her about it. I don't suppose she was questioning herself about it before.

Absolutely agree with you. I don't feel upset, personally, by the death of someone I don't know although I may regret the loss of that person's talent, wit, writing, music, comedy, etc.

I'm appalled at how insensitive some people are on social media in expressing their dislike for a deceased famous person. I don't subscribe to the never speak ill of the dead thing but think there is something very distasteful in expressing those thoughts in the immediate aftermath as almost all deaths, famous or not, leave family and friends to deal with grief.

Yes but why question herself now?

It's completely normal not to get upset about the death of someone you don't know.

What if this thread was full of people telling the OP that she's being unreasonable, not to get upset?

Oh I don't know. There's a TV ad running in Ireland at the moment. A young boy (think he was 3)
died after his mother's car was hit by a drunk driver. It's bloody awful. I don't know and have never met the family but I was sobbing after reading their story. Surely it's just empathy as pps have said?

I get upset when I hear about a horrendous murder or hear about a child dying even though I don't know the person. I feel saddened when a life is cut short in a pointless way. The actions of ISIS sicken me.

It doesn't bother me when a celebrity dies of old age. That is the circle of life. The person in question often has had a good life. Death is part of life.

I'm the same as you budgiegirl, really sad about Prince dying, when I hear his songs it still shocks me when I remember.

No you are normal. The ones who are weird are the ones who embarrass themselves wailing and weeping in a fake and phoney way. Ugh

To OP.

I think there are bandwagons and sometimes you can get dragged along with them. I was upset about princess Diana, along with seemingly millions of others. But a year later my mother died and I learned what actual grief was. It was around the anniversary of Diana's death which spawned fresh outpourings of grief in the media. It literally made me sick. These people didn't know her. What were they grieving. They clearly had no idea what what grief was. I feel sad when sad when certain people die, but that's it. Sad. Then on with the day. I couldn't get dragged into the nation mourning again. Never. Too many actual personal bereavements.

A agree to a certain extent but I was surprised by how sad I was when John Peel died. Celebrities dying had never really affected me before but when I heard that he had died I cried.

I'd really never been bothered before. And I agree with your sentiments entirely. I just think that sometimes some people, even if you've never meet them, can affect you in a profound way.

I don't know if it was just because I was having a tough time and his death gave me an opportunity for some kind of relief but I can empathise with how the death of someone you don't know can touch people so significantly.

I don't tend to either - I feel empathy for them but I don't cry and wail and it doesn't have an impact on my life.

I do cry occasionally at documentaries especially about children etc though and for example tonight watching X factor and Louis T who's just lost his mum - I had a tear in my eye but I think that's because I've recently lost a parent and I just know what he's feeling iyswim?

Not so much famous people but children really get to me. There's a local boy just been given 3 months and it's hit me quite hard. Some mn stories as well have had the same affect.

Not that I'd publicly declare that or try and garner attention. Only started since I lost my own son so I think it's just empathy.

I'd be interested to know if any bereaved parents get effected in the same way. I've never had counselling or anything so I sometimes worry if I've been more destroyed by it then I appear.

I'm not cold hearted but when he died I had two DD's one a toddler and I just had to get on with it.

That was an essay sorry

I do agree with it turning into competitive public mourning. Arf is spot on with her post.

I really don't do that, mn is the only place I talk about my son.

I'm not really questioning myself - but this person was vehement in their opinion of me. Made out that I was a totally callous bitch to not be upset. I see myself as being the polar opposite. I'm an incredibly caring person - I spend most of my working and personal life caring for and thinking about others.

Situations where someone dies young or if a child loses their parent/parents very young are totally different - those really get to me. Even if they are people I don't know.

What I'm talking about (should have made it clearer - so I apologise) are the deaths of older famous people who were, to be honest, in the age bracket where you'd expect people to die.

It happens. It's really sad for people who knew them and I feel terribly sorry for them. But I don't get personally upset. I reserve that for people that I actually know in my life and not someone I've just seen on a screen or read about.

The person who had a go at me seems to almost revel in the fact that they get upset about these things. Like it's a way of proving that they are a caring person. I find that really strange and attention-seeking.

Unborn - so so sorry about your son xxx

David Bowie literally changed my life. I listened to Life on Mars and made plans to leave my craphole.

Prince was the soundtrack of my teenage relationships.

Terry Pratchett books have cheered me up in my darkest times.

It's not the same as knowing someone. It's really really not. But Sir Terry... I cried a lot.

When you're sad that a famous person has died, in my experience, you aren't just sad about their death. You're sad about the fact that there will never be another Bowie album for you to hear for the first time, and for the person you were years ago when Life On Mars changed your life, and for the tinge of sadness you'll feel knowing that you won't get to follow their career and love them any more. In my experience, anyway.

I've never been into the public outpouring. For me, it's also about the sadness. Sadness that someone, who had an impact on my life no longer is around to continue to do so. My father died when I was just 16 and right in the middle of my exams so I was sitting them a few days before and after. I've never dealt well with other people's death since then. But I'd never berate anyone, who feels differently from me. I also cried when the neighbours wife died. We got on for a couple of years, then she turned us and was nasty and comforted him in his distress. We're all individuals, right? So this person was being an arse. Ignore. Ignore.

Weird. We had this exact thread a couple of months ago.