To not get upset when people I don't know die...

[bibbetybobbetybooo]

Ok - so I've been had a go at by someone because I don't get upset when I read/hear about famous people who have died.

They're not my friends/relatives, so why would/should it upset me?
Yes - I feel very sorry for their family but that's it.
I'm not going to let it affect me.

Is that wrong of me?

I had a discussion with the person who said this to me and asked if they feel the same about some non-famous person dying.
Apparently not as 'they haven't made a difference to the world'

I feel that a death is a death, irrespective of fame...

I'm CRAP at finding threads, but I'll see if I can...

It wasn't this ne, but this one is similar...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2779913-AIBU-to-not-grasp-some-kinds-of-grief

bibbety thank you. Sorry I misread. I'd read something earlier that had set me off so I think I just had it on my mind.

I don't think I've ever cried over a celebrity who's died at a "good" age. I think your friend was quite horrible. Even if she has a different opinion it doesn't make yours invalid or you a callous person at all

That's so odd that there was another thread. At least it means I'm not the only one.

What I found odd was when the person who had a go at me said they only feel that way if a celebrity died that they were aware of.

When I mentioned some other people, the person wasn't at all upset and couldn't see why they should be.

Selective grief?!!! Very odd!! Or did I call their bluff on their 'oh - you're such a bitch and I care so much' self-inflation party...

I see it as mourning the loss of any of their future films/songs/novels etc and realising that a truly great talent has stopped being able to continue being great.

Alan Rickman; Victoria Wood; Caroline Ahearne; Amy Winehouse.

It's sad because they will no longer make great stuff.

I'm appalled at how insensitive some people are on social media in expressing their dislike for a deceased famous person.

Well yes, you never know who's reading....

One of my friends was talking on FB about what a git a certain celebrity was. Another friend then commented "Well, Uncle Celebrity's not so bad in real life... "

This bloke's still very much alive and it was quite funny, but if the family were mourning him it really wouldn't have been.

I was upset about David Bowie and Jo Cox. Bowie seemed like he'd go on forever and his music has provided me with lots of amazing memories. Jo Cox was a compassionate woman who wanted to make the world a better place and was a mother of two. It makes me really sad to think of leaving my two dc motherless, like it makes me sad to think of her two children growing up without their mum. It's empathy.

Yanbu to feel the way you do op. But people have many reasons for 'mourning' celebrities and I don't think they should be sneered at and called grief tourists.

It's harsh, but if a majority of people routinely got genuinely emotionally touched by the deaths of people they don't know, then charities wouldn't need to spend such a lot of effort trying to get people to give money to famine and natural disaster relief (let alone refugee camps).

I'd feel sad if it was someone I liked and they were young. Amy Winehouse springs to mind, even if it was expected she wasn't going to collect her pension if she carried on as she was. I was also a bit shocked and surprised when Peaches Geldof died, given her age and even more when I found out she was on Methadone and heroin as I'd thought she got herself straight when she had her kids.I was sad for Bob Geldof and Amy Winehouse's parents as it must be the worse thing in the world to lose a child especially as substance misuse can be prevented.I was also sad to hear of Diana's death though as I'm not a great royal fan I didn't get the whole grief outpouring.

When David Bowie and Prince died I was ''oh that's really sad'' as I grew up listening to their music so I saw them as part of my generation (though Bowie was about 20 years older than me but Prince was less than 10 years older than me).

However I don't know these people personally so, no I'm not going to go round weeping and wailing. I just worry and get upset about my own!

I don't cry about every elderly celebrity, and wouldn't expect anyone to be upset either. But, was shocked at my own sadness when Amy Winehouse, David Bowie, and Prince died. I think David Attenborough or Stephen Fry going, would tip me over the edge into actual big tears!

I forgot about Caroline Ahearne, she's about a year or so older than me. I think when it's someone close to your own age, it makes me aware of my own mortality.

With Jo Cox-yeah that was shocking given she was a compassionate woman just doing her job.

I've been really, really upset at a few deaths of folk I didn't know. Either very tragic circs or I've had some connection with folk close to them so was also more about the pain they were feeling.

I don't wail or talk about it in public though, if anything I'd be embarrassed if folk know.

Occasionally there is a famous person who means something to me. And I feel genuinely upset that they are gone from this world.
Some deaths also affect me because they remind me of my mother's death. Same disease same time of year. It's a bit dumb bit sometimes it's like it unlocks a grief memory. But that's about processing still my own grief about my mum rather than that km upset at that particular person dying.

I agree with you

I might miss my favourite celebrity if they die, but I certainly wouldn't mourn their loss.

I don't know them, therefore they don't affect me and my life.

It's a bit of an insult to friends and family of the deceased to be mourning them as if they are close friends really

Soub you explained it better.

It's just when I see people (mostly FB) going on it seems disrespectful when it's someone's actual son/mother/sister etc.

There is no shame in being upset about it but sometimes it feels like people are making it all about them.

There's a difference between being upset and briefly feeling a bit sad. The latter is empathy which is a basic human emotion.

I don't think it's appropriate for one person to tell another how to feel grief or any other emotion. My life is full of funerals now. Mainly older people. I did cry at the death of an 86 year last week because he was good friend of my dad who died last year. I wept buckets over the death of Diana. I didn't cry much when my brother died in his early 30s . It's an aching sore that never goes away.

YANBU at all. I tend to briefly think 'Oh that's sad' when I hear it on the news or sometimes 'I didn't know they were still alive until now' and then move on.

I feel sadness if someone has died young - I have empathy for their family, but I don't understand people getting worked up at the death of an older person that they didn't even know as a person.

If they are good people, I can be sad for a bit because the world is short of good people but if for example Donald Trump died tomorrow ( as long as he wasn't assassinated ) i'd be very glad because whilst he lives he's going to take us all to hell in a handcart

I didn't get the mass hysteria over Diana, although I could see it was terribly sad to die so young and for two boys to be without a mother.
I was really shocked by Kirsty MacColl's death - I loved her music and I interviewed her about 22 years ago, and she was lovely. Her death seemed so brutal.
Jo Cox was a shock because I know Birstall well and it was so unexpected.
David Bowie felt like a whole load of cultural references of my youth dying in that moment.
But no, none of these compare to the grief I felt when I lost my parents. I'd be worried if they did.

It's not the same as knowing someone. It's really really not. But Sir Terry... I cried a lot.

Me too. Still get upset every now and again when I read something. Such a fine mind and someone with still so much to say. Very cruel.

and Terry Wogan. I loved his gentle humour and he brightened many a morning for me. Don't know why but I was very upset - and not because of other people.

Well I admit I was sad about Alan Rickman, David Bowie and Prince. And a few others that went this year. Mainly because I admired their work. But I didn't actually grieve as such. Got sad and moved on with my life.

Still get upset every now and again when I read something. And I still haven't read The Shepherd's Crown. I know it's silly but there you go. DH bought me Terry's book about his death for my birthday. No idea when I will manage that.

if for example Donald Trump died tomorrow ( as long as he wasn't assassinated ) i'd be very glad because whilst he lives he's going to take us all to hell in a handcart The handcart will be a lot bigger and scarier if Pence is in charge. He REALLY hates women and gay people. DT just doesn't give a shit about anything but himself. Pence will go out of his way to hurt people.

And I still haven't read The Shepherd's Crown.

Me neither...

It's sitting on my bedside table.

Bloody hell MrsTP* I hadn't thought that through had I? BTW if a president elect dies before inauguration does the VP elect take over? Any USA constitutional experts out there?