To ask if there are any women who have never worked or only worked for a few years or is it just me?

[Pearlamelie]

I graduated with an economics degree in 2006 and worked as a financial services assistant for 2 years (I had no idea what I wanted to do and just fell into this I was approached about the job by a family friend so thought why not). Two years later I found out I was pregnant, never went back after maternity leave and now 7 years down the line I have two dc, the youngest of which starts school next September. And I haven't worked since 2009. So I'm 31 and have only worked 2 years of my whole life. Is anyone else in this position? I want to get back into the job market when my youngest starts school but where do I start? My old job no longer appeals but I don't have any other skills! Or any idea what I want to do! Has anyone been in a situation like this and had a success story? Part of me now thinks I should of stayed in some kind of employment but I didn't really like my old job so was happy to escape! My DH is also keen for me to go back to work next September as it eases the financial pressure on him as he is self employed. He works in retail (owns a shop) and works mon-sat 8-6. He will carry on with this but it will be nice for us to not have to rely on one income anymore. Any ideas/stories welcome!

When i was panning on returning I volunteered in three different areas I enjoyed: Garden, children/school, and animals. I then returned to work in a school.

Agree with pp saying don't under estimate your skills that you have developed as a SAHM. maybe your confidence is a little low? I say that as some one who has very poor self esteem myself. There are personal qualities that can balance out your lack of experience, if you are positive, quick to learn, resourceful, etc, they are all selling points.

22, worked on and off for a few months around MH hospitalisations. Had DD at 20. The future is daunting, it's hard to get started let alone find a good career.

Only problem is I cannot think of anything to do on a self employed basis apart from DH bookkeeping suggestion. Maybe I should try working in his shop and doing the bookkeeping at least I would be getting experience in something even if it doesn't work out.

Yes I think your right confidence is a problem. I didn't have much confidence before DC but it's even worse now.

I would employ somebody like you but only if you really wanted to work.
I've had a few members of staff who, like yourself, lacked relevant experience but who I had a good rapport with and could tell that they liked my business -which is half the battle.

If you're working part time, you may struggle to find a role that doesn't expect at least one weekend day... my full timers work 9-5 mon to fri and so it's really busy periods that I'd need fulfilled. Do you have any childcare options? Grandparents/Aunts etc. It might be worth investigating before you dip your toe in.

FWIW, Im a similar age to you but worked all through kids etc but packed in my 'proper' job at 29 and started again from scratch. Don't feel trapped because of your age.

I've never really been a SAHM (well I took a year out after we relocated), however my mum was a SAHM for about 30 years, she previously only held a factory job for a couple years before she got pregnant with my eldest brother. But after we all left home she did do some part time office work for a few years until my dad retired.

OP at least you a business related degree, that gives you some flexibility if you want to going into accounting (I'm an accountant) or something along the business related lines. Could you go temping for admin work? I did that for a couple of years (for Deloittes) and it I didn't mind it, although I had to get something more stable due to other reasons. That said, if you don't want to work in an office it may not be a good idea.

I'm 29 with 2DC, I've worked full time for around 3.5 years (pre DC) and part-time for around 4 years, although I did manage to get a degree in this time also and do a little volunteer work.

Now I'm nearly 30 I am worried about my lack of work experience. I do 18 hrs in a low paid retail job and am trying to workout how to and where my next job move is.

OP as pp suggested: start work in your DH's shop- will get you experience on your CV and build your skills and confidence, and since its your business it will be easier than starting a brand new job. You may also want to consider parent volunteering in your DC's school. I did it when DS started and I loved it. The organisation who set up my voluntary work sent me on first aid, child protection courses which looks good on a CV. Good luck.

Went travelling after senior school. Met DH overseas and thought I would hang around to see what happened. I worked for 3 years then had to stop due to visa restrictions after DH and I got married. Then I had 3 dc in 4 years.

Eldest is 6 in Jan. DH wants me to start studying when youngest goes to school.

I'm daunted and terrorfied. I want to have security and future proof my life in case something happened to DH but he works crazy hours and I like being home for the kids.

But OP we are the same age and have similar work experience.

I wouldn't really recommend working for your husband. It's too much like he's doing you a favour rather than you actually being an independent woman and I don't think it's healthy for the equality of your relationship and your own sense of self-esteem if you only have a job because you're his wife.

To be brutally frank, you have no proper work experience and presumably you are going to have to fit your hours around school, school holidays, child sickness etc. I think you will just have to take whatever job you can get which fits around the children rather than having much choice.

I'd be more inclined to get your H to pay for a childminder for before and after school and for school holidays than for a training course until you have more of an idea what you want to do. Do you have family you can call in for last minute emergencies e.g. children off sick? Is your H likely to take his share of the emergency cover?

Then just get back out there. Don't dither about thinking about the ideal. Look at advertised jobs and apply for anything that fits your circumstances and that you feel you can bear to do. Once you have built up some experience and gained some confidence and worked out what can be managed around your children, then you can start narrowing down your choices and thinking about what training might help you progress.

I was in a similar situation to you,at least where it comes to confidence,and being used to working again,routine etc. So i started volunteering at a local charity shop. I was so terrified of fucking up and felt i was under qualified even for that. Slowly i got health and safety training,worked in the back and in the front, became confident at the till and dealing with customers. Started making decisions and even training new people,so i became supervisor(unpaid). Then i got more responsibilities,keys,doing the money,the health and safety checks etc and became deputy manager,still unpaid but now i had a year of steady work on my cv,experience and amazing references. I was offered paid jobs first,which sadly i couldn't take because of the hours. More importantly, i gained my confidence back. So this september i applied for the first time for a paid job(completely unrelated),got my first interview and got the job then and there. I still visit the charity shop and keep in contact with the manager as i am very grateful for helping me "grow". Plus i made some really good friends

Can I ask a question please? I read your responses and I see the reasoning and the reality you're faced with, the theory behind it, but for some reason I don't see the desire to work. The want to do it. So the question is, do you actually deep down want to work?

I've done the opposite! worked for 33 years (now 50) had a total of 10 months mat leave for 2 children. Still got 17 years to work until I'm due a state pension though others will get the same pension with half the work.

31 is still young OP, I think you need to build your confidence about what skills you have gained even if you haven't been employed. Working some hours for your DH may boost your confidence too. You may not want to work in retail ultimately but experience of handling customers would be good for your CV, You may also get some ideas of complimentary things you could do that would support the family business. What does your DH sell?

If you have an economics / finance background the AAT doesn't sound like a bad idea. Lots of opportunities for accountants to be self-employed, particularly if you're doing it for "extra" money rather than relying on it to pay the bills.

Lots of part time jobs in financial services more generally as well, although does depend a lot on where you're based.

Most people dont love their jobs this is why we get paid. If we loved our jobs we would do them for nothing and call them hobbies.

I am an accountant. The study is hard work. Few companies give day release so study is done in evenings and weekends. If you are lucky you get the days of exams off as exam leave otherwise they come out of annual leave. AAT is not a single bookkeeping course. On its own AAT will take around 3 years. Many accountants in industry start with AAT then move on to CIMA or ACCA without finishing AAT.

Get a job, any job. Accept that it will be a bit crap. It might be a lot crap. The best qualification for getting a job is having a job. So you need to get a job. That job doesnt define your working life. It is only a stepping stone.

You go for a team assistant / admin role that requires little to no skill (i.e., takes A level leavers). There you get some office experience for a year or so, progress through the company (if you like what you do), or use more recent experience to find something else.

Gosh. I have never not worked since I was 16 and I am now 40

Most people dont love their jobs this is why we get paid. If we loved our jobs we would do them for nothing and call them hobbies.

I agree with this completely. I liked my job but all things being equal, I'd rather be reading a book. But I did like being paid, getting a pension fund, interacting with people, the feeling of having done a good day's work, the feeling of working together with people, the shared stories, and sometimes - not always - the actual work I did.

So don't worry too much about whether you love it or not or are drawn to something or not. What you want is something that reasonably interests you and suits your personality. If you like chatting to people, work with people. If you like being by yourself, maybe find something you can do from home. that kind of thing.

OP, you are very young still. Loads of time to retrain and get a job and get some good earning/pension years in. An economics degree is a great degree.

Would definitely agree with the advice of get a job, any job (ideally not in your dh's shop). It will build your confidence. and give you something to put on your cv.

I did work for quite a while before I had kids- but gave it up to become a SAHM.

When the babies were small I started selling on Amazon and ebay, small scale at first, just a few good items that I found cheaply. The profits started to roll in, I still buy and sell, but I also make stuff, my garage is a converted stockroom and workshop.
My kids are teenagers now, I never did go back to work, but still work part time selling stuff online, however I make £4K profit a month.

If you're not sure what you want to do, have you thought about doing an apprenticeship? Next year they are totally changing so you can be any age to take one. Good way to work and learn at the same time.

Not the same situation at all, but I have taken about 10 years out to bring up DC.

When DD started nursery I got a Christmas job at M&S. It was nothing like anything I'd done before but a good way of meeting people and getting used to putting the family into a routine involving less input from me. I could have asked to be considered for a permanent role at the end of it. Quite a few shops are still advertising for staff round here.

Since then I have volunteered for Citizens Advice (again, really different to my old work). There are a real mix of volunteers (from students who want to have something on their CV, people wanting to move into 3rd sector, mums who want a life away from small children, retirees). Be clear about what you could commit to (in terms of maybe a day/week for X months). As long as people know your plans (so keep your training narrower) it is actually quite nice to have volunteers who are able to move into paid employment.

Many of my friends are in their mid-40s and have gone back to uni to do an MA or PGCE (but equally it could be for NVQs). Try to look for courses that have a strong emphasis on work placements. You might struggle to get an apprenticeship (because of your age), but I have employed some really great students in their early 20s.

Good luck

I have a similar situation to you OP, I'm 30 and had my first child as soon as I graduated (expecting 4th now) so I've never had a long term job, only a few part time bits like working in the student union shop while studying or cafe work. The past couple of years I've been self employed though, and do my work from home as it's online based. That suits me, and I couldn't really picture myself going into full time employment working for someone else outside the home. We must be saving quite a bit on child care this way too.

Most people don't love their jobs. Not everyone has a dream job.

You need to rethink, after not working for years, wanting only certain hours and hating most things you're not going to have any joy whatsoever convincing an employer you are the best person for a role.

May be confidence but maybe you're used to not working so don't want to really so are using excuses.

Remember, you are a role model for your children. They tend to copy.

You never know what's round the corner, my friend had her DD1 at 21 while at uni having only ever had a p/t job in the local spar, then had her DS a few years later....didn't work for almost 7 years then found a decent office admin job (through a friend)

Actually top tip, ask around your friends if any one knows anyone who is hiring, my DBro just got a part time job by whatsapping all his mates to see if anyone knew of anything.

If you work in your dh's shop you could cover him for the occasional Saturday and it would take the pressure off him a bit because you could take over if he fell ill.

I had Saturday jobs while at school and uni but I chopped and changed them regularly as I hated them all. Mostly stacking shelves or working on tills in supermarkets.

You have to adjust your expectations. Why didn't you like any of those jobs?

You have to look for positives in jobs and find something you like about each one.

I worked in a shop. Not my dream job. I found pleasure in the working hours, the staff discount, some team members, and actually being quite good at retail. I was there full time for 1 year.

I worked in a fast food van... really not my dream job. Hated the grease and the working hours (5am get up!). I found pleasure in learning a new skill (the 'cooking') and the customer interaction. Also I got better and better at adding up orders in my head and not having to use the calculator as much. I made it into a game. I worked Saturdays in uni term time and more full time in the holidays, over 3 years.

I worked in a factory putting crisp packets into multipacks. Again, not great. I pretended I was a robot and thought about other things. This was my least favourite job and I only did it for about 4 months full time.

What I'm trying to say is, unless people are being horrible to you, work isn't that bad. You can find enjoyment in the most mental of tasks, take pride in doing them well, enjoy interaction with clients or colleagues.