Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To disagree with attendance awards

179 replies

LittleMissUpset · 09/12/2016 15:46

DS2 came home from school with some chocolate and a certificate DS1 didn't because he had a CAMHS appointment and is now awaiting assessment for ASD, therefore didn't get the attendance award.

I explained to DS1 that school are measured on attendance and they are just trying to encourage the children, but it's not his fault and it's unfair so I will buy him some chocolate too.

It really is unfair, as even if children are off ill it's not their fault.

AIBU to disagree with attendance awards?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 09/12/2016 17:15

Ds is pretty oblivious to his differences and needs at the moment. He isn't oblivious to the boxes of maltesers his peers get the last day of term for attendance! Last year his cousin made his Mum go and buy a box for him because he understood why he was upset. Ds shook doesn't make a massive fuss compared to some but even that little bit he picked up.

Some schools locally offer trips for children with 100% attendance! Now that is awful and a complete breach of the DDA unless they make reasonable adjustments (which from what I can tell they don't)

DailyFail1 · 09/12/2016 17:16

Ourblanche- I would like parents to stop sending sick children to school.

Lweji · 09/12/2016 17:16

You're right, Permanentlyexhausted.
Personally, I'm against any awards. Unless they are for effort, which is hard to measure.

Trifleorbust · 09/12/2016 17:18

DailyFail1: That's awful. But idiots will be idiots.

FrayedHem · 09/12/2016 17:20

DS1 is rarely ill and got 100% last year - illness contained to the half-term of horror: the week norovirus came to stay. He hates school and was most aggrieved. He has a very limited diet (ASD) and vegetables make him very very angry.

DS2 went out of the weekly competition early as he'd smashed his face on the playground in quite a spectacular fashion on the 2nd week back and missed the pm registration. He loves school and tries hard. He also had another short-lived illness during term time so came out at 96% or thereabouts.

They do give out certs to all children with over 95%? At the end of the year.

I don't agree with it, good health is a reward in itself.

OurBlanche · 09/12/2016 17:20

But that isn't the scenario you set in the post I answered and quoted. .

Middleoftheroad · 09/12/2016 17:21

It's unfair. I say this as a mother of one twin who's had 100 per cent attendance for last few yrs and one who tends to miss 1 day a year. The result is DT1 gets cert. DT2 doesn't. Last week DT1 had his first sick days in yrs and was trying to go in - despite cold - because he was worried about his attendance. Told him his health came 1st!

Luckily, our school only does certificates. When I hear of some schools rewarding kids with daytrips and prizes it makes me Xmas Angry

Even when both got 100 per cent it makes me uncomfortable as I know we've just been lucky with health/appointments and not shoved DT2 into school when he's unwell. And yes, I do work.

OurBlanche · 09/12/2016 17:23

Sorry, I have no idea what happened there. The first half of my post disappeared...

I agree, I hated teaching kids who came in ill. I posted before you gave specifics, and answered generally. But that isn't the scenario you set in the post I answered and quoted. Sorry

ScarletSienna · 09/12/2016 17:24

Trifle-a few days in primary school won't hurt but it does in senior school where they learn the proper stuff, right? Hmm

Middleoftheroad · 09/12/2016 17:26

Permanentlyexhausted

But it's guilt tripping children like mine to want to drag themselves into school when ill. It's making children with chronic and long term health issues feel bad about their conditions. It's not the same as being rewarded for sporting prowess, say.

Trifleorbust · 09/12/2016 17:27

ScarletSienna: Not sure it is that controversial to acknowledge that the demands of learning increase at secondary, so it is more detrimental to miss school.

perfectlybroken · 09/12/2016 17:31

I really disagree with these awards. We got called in to see the head over ds attendance, we'd kept him off for a week on 2 separate occasions as he was genuinely ill. I would have preferred that he wasn't ill but what can I do?

RichardBucket · 09/12/2016 17:36

Wow, Trifleorbust, you work in a school but are a qualified doctor?!

Permanentlyexhausted · 09/12/2016 17:36

Re: sending sick children to school and spreading germs about: most illnesses and diseases are at their most infectious stage before there are any symptoms. It's impossible to be sure that the blame lies with the person whose child went to school after they displayed symptoms - after all, their child also got the germs from somewhere. Not saying that it's fine to send sick children to school, just that you shouldn't assume your kids aren't spreading diseases just because you kept them off when they got symptoms.

Trifleorbust · 09/12/2016 17:38

RichardBucket: What can I say? I am very, very good.

MrFMercury · 09/12/2016 17:39

My eldest child has never and will never get an attendance award because she has regular hospital appointments because of a condition she was born with. Other child has got them which did highlight the difference between them when they were younger. Both have tried to insist going in ill or asked me to cancel appointments because they've been told they can't miss any school for any reason.

I think generally the parent's who can't be arsed to get up and bring their kids in etc don't give a shit about these awards and its always the parent's choice as to whether a child makes it in or not anyway so all these awards do it upset kids and make them feel like they've been punished for something they have no control over.

itsmine · 09/12/2016 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WaggyMama · 09/12/2016 17:41

Life isn't fair, however it is nice to have recognition of your (or your childrens) attendance as we all have days when we feel slightly unwell but make the effort to go in.

My Dh received a letter from his MD in recognition of his full attendance. I didn't have a day off for 5 years and I got nothing.

My children are never going to be top of the class and thus will never get the trophy's, certificates or awards. I accept that.

Stop being a sour-puss.

HopeClearwater · 09/12/2016 17:43

shouldn't be penalised for being unlucky

You fail to understand the difference between being 'penalised' and simply not being rewarded, as do many parents on here...

Lweji · 09/12/2016 17:45

But why should you be rewarded for being lucky?

Permanentlyexhausted · 09/12/2016 17:45

Middleoftheroad
It's not the same as being rewarded for sporting prowess, say.

I think it is exactly the same. Why do you think only children with health problems get to feel bad about something that isn't their fault? What about children who aren't co-ordinated enough, or aren't intelligent enough, or aren't rich enough? Or is it that bad health trumps everything else so if you have another type of disadvantage you just have to suck it up?

ChocolateWombat · 09/12/2016 17:45

I think it's fine to give these awards.

Everyone can acknowledge the positives of having 100% attendance, even if they aren't one of the children with it, or one of the families whose children have it. It is another way of celebrating success, in the same way that certificates might be given for knowing times tables, or having produced a good project. The fact that some people are less clever and don't manage to learn their tables so well, doesn't mean no one should be allowed a certificate.

And these things have to be broad brush approaches. So yes, a child with a chronic illness will miss out on a certificate, but that is a small downside, in what is overall a positive effect - they re inforce the idea with children and families that being at school all the time is a good thing. The message needs shouting over and over again, because otherwise parents do continue to take their children out of school for all kinds of reasons. Giving certificates is a quick and easy broad brush means to send the message out and yes, to reward those who have been there every day.

I find the resentment about the whole thing rather bizarre. When a child doesn't do well in a GCSE exam because they were away and missed the lessons about a particular topic, do people day that the GCSE exam is unfair? Or if employers choose someone at a job interview who has 100% attendance in Their previous job, do people say it is unfair? Attendance is a good thing sooner people realise that the better. Poor health or chronic illness isn't fair and no one is saying that it is....it has all kinds of negative effects on children. However, most children who don't get a certificate won't fail to receive one because of serious health concerns....many of the people who fail to get one will have missed a series of odd days here and there over the year, which parents often think are nothing here and there, but collectively add up. If those certificates make a few children or parents think again about what is sometimes 'wimping out' rather easily over a cold (and a lot of people do give up rather easily) then they achieve something. And in not talking about parents sending their children in who really are ill and need to be in bed. That clearly isn't a good thing and not to be encouraged.....but there is far more absence than proper illness warrants....and that's what schools are rightfully trying to address. I think that if you have a bit of a sickly child yourself, you can still acknowledge the achievement of those who have made it in every day. When people moan about certificates, I think it smacks of sour grapes. Why not just be pleased for those who get them and point out to your own children who might not have done, that perhaps next term they will get one and even if they don't, it can't be helped. Most children are not likely to be traumatised by not getting a certificate and I think that when people get het up about their issue, they are being a bit precious.

Bubble2bubble · 09/12/2016 17:49

ourblanche I don't know if you have ever known a child with a chronic or terminal illness, but your post comes across as extremely harsh :(

itsmine · 09/12/2016 17:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

InfiniteSheldon · 09/12/2016 17:52

My ds got a 100% attendance and one for not being late, not once for every year at secondary school he really never gets ill, it was one of the few awards my severely dyslexic but very hard working ds ever got he is/was very proud of them. Bit judgy to assume I sent him to school ill.

Swipe left for the next trending thread