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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be concerned about my toddler's eating habits

51 replies

MGFM · 08/12/2016 22:06

Everyone tells me not to worry about his eating habits as it wont be forever and that he wont be eating like this when he is 18. All well and good but he doesnt seem to be making any progress.

Just for backstory. When we started weaning him we did a mix of BLW and spoon feeding. We followed the advice and would give him food to play with and that is exactly what he did - he played with it. He showed little interest in eating it and would just throw it on the floor. When it came to anything on a spoon he would either whip is head from side to side to avoid the spoon, try and knock it out of our hands, grab the spoon with his hands to try and fend it off....you get the idea. The HV kept saying dont worry - food is for fun until they are one. Well my son was taking this literally. When he went to nursery full time at 10 months old I thought it would improve. Sometimes I would watch him from the door sat at the little table wth all the other little babies and they would be eating their fruit and my DS would just be tipping the bowl upside down and playing with the food. Again HV said not to worry, he will get it eventually.

Fast forward to when he turned one. The only reason he started to actually eat more was because he had got the hang of a spoon. He started to improve. But only with stuff like jacket potato with cheese and beans. He did develop a taste for peanut butter sandwiches. and a few other bits. We kept him on the menu at the nursery, hoping that exposure to the different foods would naturally lead to him eating more. It didnt. I was paying nearly £6 a day and he wasn't touching the stuff.

I just started sending him in with a packed lunch. I would put fruit, sandwiches, homemade banana bread. He would devour the banana bread, not touch the fruit. Sandwiches he would eat sometimes.

Fast forward to now - he is 20 months old. We now have a DD who is 3 months old so I am on Mat Leave. Breakfast is no concern - he will devour porridge, or weetabix or toast. Fruit wise - he will only eat banana. The amount of fruit that has ended up not he floor was not funny. I just stopped trying. Lunch isnt too bad - sandwiches, or french toast, or eggs hidden in beans and cheese, or cheese on toast, jacket. it is dinner that is the struggle. He just wont even try anything or if he does he just spits it out. Once he sucked the juice of some duck and then spat the meat out (this was in wagamamas). He essentially has a handful of meals that we just rotate through. 1 - tiny pasta from boots with tuna and homemade tomato sauce. 2 - potato, swede, carrot, blitzed chicken and gravy. 3 - jacket beans and cheese. 4. blitzed mince beef pie with mash, carrots and gravy. 5. two Ella's pouches - the only for 10 month olds...he needs two as there isnt enough in one. I have tried fish fingers, smilies and beans - dont really want to feed him the regularly but i just wanted to add some things he will eat. He actually moved the food around to get to the beans and didnt even try the other stuff. If we go to pizza express or somewhere similar he will eat dough balls and pizza.

Anyway, I am worried about his eating - or lack of variety and the fact that he will only eat a bowl of near mush in the evening for dinner. I just dont know what to do. Should I just leave it and hope that slowly he improves?

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Crumbs1 · 08/12/2016 22:12

Yes leave. He has plenty of variety to grow up OK. It will change as you worry less - assume he is normal size and growing?
Going to supper with friends changed mine as they ate what friend was eating. My eldest is still a vegetarian as has always hated texture of meat and gradually gave it up until at 9 she just didn't ever eat meat again. She looks OK on it. Don't get into battles about food.

MGFM · 08/12/2016 22:16

He is on the 75th percentile for height and weight so growing no problems there. As well as being concerned with his lack of variety I also worry that we made mistakes weaning. I dont want to repeat the same things with DD but at the same time I dont know what we could have done differently. I tried some stuff by annabel karmel a few nights ago. He just played with it for 20 mins. I gave in and got an Ella's pouch of spag bol out and he nodded enthusiastically.

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hettie · 08/12/2016 22:57

Whatever you serve him it needs to not be mush/pouches. He needs to learn to chew. Just keep serving tiny portions of normal food. He'll eat when he's hungry and you can gradually expand his diet

Blink1982 · 08/12/2016 23:00

He's doing fine, don't worry. Much more variety than my nearly 4 ds.

hettie · 08/12/2016 23:01

Oh and don't "give in"... Don't turn it into a battle/thing. You can't make him eat, it's the only thing he has control over. Channel your inner "I don't care". Your job is to provide some acceptable/possibly nutritionally ok f. Your job is not to make him eat it...step away!

MollyHuaCha · 08/12/2016 23:02

I agree with Hettie. Serve tiny amounts of new food. Vary it a lot. Take it away without a comment when it's uneaten. Assume each new food will need to be offered loads and loads of times - maybe 15 or 20. And lastly, if you can, arrange some lunch dates with children of a similar age who eat the kind of food you would like yr DC to eat. Nothing like a role model 

Crumbs1 · 08/12/2016 23:03

Family sit together for meals and he eats what you eat for supper would be good way forward.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 08/12/2016 23:07

Don't give up. KEEP offering fruit and veg,it takes ages for some kids to accept new food. Just keep putting small portions down and if he eats it great,if not clear away.

He's growing so clearly he's eating enough.

Ditch the pouches. Stew some apple or something if he likes puree.

He's doing fineSmile

chitofftheshovel · 08/12/2016 23:07

A really bizarre concept has just sprung to mind. What about switching meals around so he gets evening meal food for breakfast. He'll be properly hungry then and may just try, and find he likes, new things.

Afreshstartplease · 08/12/2016 23:08

When you say blitzed how blitzed do you mean?

As a previous poster said he needs to learn to chew

This can affect his speech

You shouldn't need to blitz food at nearly two years old

BestZebbie · 08/12/2016 23:11

Do you have any of those divided plastic plates, so that different foods don't touch each other?
I'd start giving him the family meal in one or two sections of one of those (eg: shepherd's pie in one part, broccoli and carrots in another part) and then filling up the other areas with 'finger foods' that he will probably eat - cubes of cheese, banana, baked beans, peanut butter on crackers, etc.
It is pretty common for toddlers to dislike mixed-up flavours and textures in the same mouthful (unless blended back into one seamless whole) and serving like this gives him the chance to try all the main meals without pressure on either of you that he has to eat it or starve.

MGFM · 08/12/2016 23:19

He def can chew. Toast , bagels, once very crunchy ginger bread. No issues with the chewing. Sometimes it is like he doesn't like the texture. Bigger bits of pasta seem to pop back out of his mouth.

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Unsurechicken · 08/12/2016 23:20

Does he have a lot of milk?

MGFM · 08/12/2016 23:20

The chicken breast is blitzed in the food processor. He won't even try it if it is in a chunk

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MGFM · 08/12/2016 23:22

Only one bottle of arojnd 200 ml before he goes to bed. Water the rest of the day

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SheepyFun · 08/12/2016 23:23

Just to reassure you, that's a better selection of main meals than DD (almost 4) manages. She'll also eat purees (but not even the 10 month stuff!); bananas and strawberries are the only fruit (!) with broccoli representing vegetables. She'd still exist entirely on milk given the choice. The playing with food sounds horribly familiar, and the refusing anything from a parent. For added joy, DD used to spit out anything I got in, managing a full vomit (bringing up milk) if she couldn't get it out fast enough. Thankfully she no longer does that.

We were warned about chewing and speech. I'm sure it's a problem for some; it really isn't for DD - th is the only sound she doesn't produce reliably.

I used to be really stressed about it. Then I decided to be less stressed about it. DH doesn't think it's a problem. She's otherwise developmentally normal, and a good height and weight. I keep telling myself that when she's a teenager, I'll probably wish that picky eating (eating disorders aside) was all I had to worry about.

MGFM · 08/12/2016 23:24

I think with regards to all eating together - we are doing more of this now I am on Mat leave but when I was at work full time we just couldn't seem to fit it all in so we would eat after he had gone to bed

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DailyFail1 · 08/12/2016 23:24

What if you baked the potatoes and certain veg into something with eggs so it's firm?

Alternatively make your own ellas with every veg under the sun and feed it to him using a reusable pouch?

MGFM · 08/12/2016 23:27

With finger food i sometimes worry he won't get enough in the evening to fill him up. He can eat a large portion of mashed veg, chicken and gravy, then a yogurt and then 200 ml of milk. I worry if I try and get him to eat stuff he doesn't like and I don't offer any alternative that he will be hungry

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MGFM · 08/12/2016 23:29

When I have given mince before without blitzing first he just spits it back out.

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arethereanyleftatall · 08/12/2016 23:32

Both my dc were only ever hungry enough to eat 2 meals per day.

MGFM · 08/12/2016 23:34

I like the main meal type food in the morning. I wonder if he would go for it. I really don't think he has a problem chewing thoigh. He has eaten flapjacks, crusty garlic bread before . He is very stubborn though which doesn't help. When we were weaning I watched other babies the same age just open their mouths wide and take whatever was on the spoon. I used to sit and be very envious . Meal times became very upsetting as he just wouldn't swallow anything!

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MGFM · 08/12/2016 23:34

He does tend to just pick at lunch.

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MGFM · 08/12/2016 23:35

He loves banana soreen aswell. I don't get it. It's very gooey and I think hard to eat.

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MGFM · 08/12/2016 23:37

I think I revert back to the pouch as I know he is at least getting good nutrients. There is a Thai currry, lamb stew, beef stew, spag Bol. He loves them all. There are some lumps in them

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