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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should I complain to neighbours

60 replies

Carol2013 · 08/12/2016 13:14

I moved into a new build 4 months ago and have NEVER even seen my next door neighbours, let alone spoken to them. The houses are designed with living at the back so we're never really at the front of the house to see them coming or going. My partner has spoken to the husband though who seemed nice and they have 2 little girls.
Anyway, everything was lovely and quiet for the first few weeks but, we notice they must have bought a TV for their bedroom and they have it up REALLY loud. Last night was particularly bad and kept us awake. I could even hear it downstairs when I was watching TV. They did turn it off just after 10pm so wasn't on late.
So, my question is - is it worth complaining? (in a nice way of course). I'd like to try to nip it in the bud early and I'm sure they don't realise how loud it is. I just feel really awkward with confrontation and especially as I've never even spoken to them before.
I did think about putting a note through the door along the lines of "hi neighbour, sorry to post a note but as we've not met yet I felt a bit uncomfortable knocking......". Obviously I would be clear that I'm sure they can hear us too etc etc.
I'm sure people have way worse neighbours than this (we have had horrendous ones in the past) but its something that is affecting our sleep so feel it could become stressful if just left .
What does everyone think?

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Original poster
Carol2013 · 18/01/2017 11:28

My partner just told me their TV was still on at 1.15am and he thinks they had fallen asleep with it on (of course they don't sleep in that room though) as he heard the remote fall on the floor and it was then turned off. Doesn't excuse the volume of it.

My partner has said he could hear our living room TV from our room last night so thinks they may be annoyed by ours too. WELL THEY SHOULD TELL US. I gave her the opportunity to tell me when I went round last time - I even said "I'm sure you can hear ours at times".

I couldn't afford to be paying for insulation - we only bought the house 6 months ago and its a brand new build.

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cooltalkineverlivin · 18/01/2017 11:31

Something similar has happened to us. NDN has a new boyfriend who is handy about the house and stays some nights. He has fixed a TV in their bedroom on the party wall of our bedroom, it sounds like they play war games on it. Confused

NDN never looks at or speaks to us but BF seems nice is quite chatty and we realise it would make life difficult to have a bad relationship with them especially since BF is interested in maintaining the property. Not sure what to do in our case either so I can sympathise OP and look forward to hearing that you have been able to get it sorted.

Original poster
Carol2013 · 18/01/2017 11:36

Hi cooltalkineverlivin, I would definitely politely mention it to the BF if he seems nice. If its that bad you really can't just put up with it.

I was SO worried about approaching my neighbour as I had never met her. Even though it hasn't solved the issue (yet), I'm still glad I said something. Its rubbish that you are made to feel bad about saying something, yet they don't consider your feelings when they are being noisy!!

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riceuten · 18/01/2017 11:38

Looks as if you have 3 choices

a) move
b) insulate
c) complain to the neighbour
d) complain to the Council

We've ruled a and b out already. I do think you need to give c another go before proceeding to d. The Council will write them a letter saying that "a neighbour" has complained and warning they are monitoring the system and the perils of ignoring it. If it persists, they may take further action. To be honest, they tend to regard people watching TV until around 11pm and from 6-7am as "reasonable" - I speak from bitter experience. I'd lay off the "TV wars" until you've exhaused a to d !

DRDBP · 18/01/2017 11:42

Hi - quite often people really don't know how loud their tv is, especially in a bedroom, and especially in new builds. I live in a terraced, Victorian house, and had no idea that my audio on my Mac bothered the neighbours. I work late, so often have that on at silly hours.

Original poster
Carol2013 · 18/01/2017 11:42

I'll definitely be trying option c) again. Contacting the council is the absolute last resort.

I just don't fancy speaking to her again - might have to try a polite note through the door this time. At least that way she can't lie about having a TV or where she sleeps!!!

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Original poster
Carol2013 · 18/01/2017 11:43

Hi DRDBP - but I have already told them!

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HyacinthsBucket · 18/01/2017 11:45

I'd go straight to environmental health - you've given them chance and they've stuck 2 fingers up. My poor mum had an absolute nightmare with her neighbours (they were Polish, and had 2 school age kids that came home from school and slept for a couple of hours - then were bouncing off the walls until 1am). She was unable to use her bedroom or her garden due to the kids screaming on a trampoline and a security light being on all hours. The noise actually made her ill in the end, she was on sleeping tablets from her GP and I got so angry that I got E H involved for her. She kept a noise log, and they were sent a letter that also got sent to the Landlord. When the neighbours the other side got involved, EH stepped up and thankfully the landlord evicted them. It really can affect your entire quality of life.

Olympiathequeen · 18/01/2017 11:54

I'd just look at some soundproofing for the adjoining bedroom walls. Not expensive and easier in the long run.

TimTamTerrier · 18/01/2017 11:58

Have you checked what the sound-proofing should be in your house specs? If it's new-build and you're in the UK then I think it might be required to be better than it is. It's one of the things that developers sometimes skimp on as they know it's hard for buyers to judge whether it's right or not. You could have a specialist surveyor check whether it's up to standard and then the developers would be forced to improve the sound-proofing to match their specs if it falls below.

Thingvellir · 18/01/2017 11:59

OP would there be any milage in talking to the developers of your house? - a new house should be better insulated and possibly another line of attack is to question if they've insulated that wall properly. Am flabbergasted that you can hear a remote control dropping on the floor through the wall!

We've just moved into a new build and I would definitely raise an issue like this with our devleopment company. (however in our case its a very large company and the builders are still building the estate and very much present...)

Thingvellir · 18/01/2017 12:00

ooh cross-post with Terrier!

Doughnutsandrainbows · 18/01/2017 12:04

What a rubbish situation.

Could it be that she hasn't lied and that it is kids room and kids have it up loud and hasn't appreciated that's the wall you back on to if you hadnt met her? Or thay that she hasn't been in at the time, e.g shift working and isn't aware of the noise.

I wouldn't post a note as that won't resolve the situation, I'd do it face to face again, at a time when the noise is being being made and perhaps invite them in to hear and help identify the noise as it's causing you real trouble sleeping? Keep a diary of the noise incase you need it.

There are instances where what is reasonable to one person might not be for another, particularly if it being against the wall is amplifying the noise... it could be at a genuinely acceptable to them. Sounds are also more prevalent when we try to sleep so there's a chance that you pick it up more and it may sound louder. Either way it's causing you problems.

-not trying to exuse anti-social noise, but surely would be best to try amd resolve in a nice way than in an agressive/passive aggressive way, obviously if this doesn't work then take it further as needed

itsawonderfulworld · 18/01/2017 12:36

Strange that she lied about something so obvious. I wonder if they've paid their TV licence? They may be pretending not to have a TV at all...

Original poster
Carol2013 · 18/01/2017 13:05

Hi Doughnutsandrainbows. I don't think its the kids room - I can see they sleep at the front. She definitely lied about both TV and the fact they sleep in there. This is the part that angers me most. She was definitely in the house.

I've written a very nicely worded note, stating that their TV was loud last night into the early hours and we couldn't sleep etc etc but that our living room TV may also have been loud and that we apologise. That way it doesn't sound so bad.

I can't face another conversation as I think it will be more embarrassing doing it this way after her lies last time. She will definitely I know she was lying if I complain again.

I'm sick of thinking of their feelings when they clearly don't care about ours. Will post the note through and will update if I hear anything back from them.

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extrabiotin · 18/01/2017 13:06

Some people just don't realise how loud their tvs and music can be. Some don't care, they are "entitled" to do what they want in their own home.

It is a difficult situation especially if one is a non confrontational type, like me!

But I would speak with them again and then escalate it if that chat didn't work.

I do remember a few years ago my elderly NDN suddenly had the TV at earthquake proportions. Other than that she was a sweet lady. It took me some time, but I did ask her why she needed the TV so loud and of course she said she was going deaf. I suggested earphones, she hadn't a clue what I was talking about. So I had a spare set of wireless headphones that plug into the TV. I went over and asked her to try the older set I had (I had the new set for myself).

Once she got the hang of it she was really delighted, as she could hear the tv much better through the earphones than when TV was at full volume. I am hard of hearing myself after adult meningitis, so the wireless earphones are essential in this house. I can listen at my volume and everyone else can listen at theirs....which I was unable to hear!

Result! But that is not going to work for every neighbour I accept that.

Original poster
Carol2013 · 20/01/2017 09:31

Well I decided to drop a polite note through the door this time. Just saying that I was sorry to mention the TV again but it had been on until the early hours and my partner had had to move rooms. I was as nice as I could be. All was quiet that night but its back to normal again!!! Last night it was their living room TV that was loud.

I guess I have to accept they aren't very nice people. Will have to find some way to record the noise (my phone doesn't seem to pick it up) and keep a diary of it all.

Nightmare :-(

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Thingvellir · 20/01/2017 10:11

OP, did you miss the posts suggesting you talk to the developer who built your house? The level of sound you are getting seems abnormally high and this is something you should look into given it is a new build only 6 months old - the builders still have responsibility to rectify errors.

Original poster
Carol2013 · 20/01/2017 11:19

Hi Thingvellir sorry yes I did. I actually rang NHBC about this yesterday and they have told me to speak to the Builder and get the Acoustic testing so will be doing that.

Although I suspect the soundproofing might not be great, I do think their TV is very loud. For the first couple of month we had no issue with their TV, then I suspect they had speakers installed (my partner thought he say someone taking them into their house).

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BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 20/01/2017 11:31

As someone suggested, if they have speakers at the back, it might mean that to them, the sound level is ok.
Our spare room has a small tv and I found when my slightly deaf mother stayed, it was really loud (to us), and she would fall asleep watching it.
Then I worked out that the tv sits on chest of drawers next to door with a rear facing speaker pointing straight out the slightly ajar door.

I moved the TV along a bit and insisted the door was closed, and things were much better

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 20/01/2017 11:32

If you can see her bedrrom tv from outside,can you take a photo of it on your phone and have that picture ready in your hand for next time she denies having a tv?

Original poster
Carol2013 · 20/01/2017 11:40

BreakfastAtSquiffanys I do understand that but I've told them twice now so they clearly don't care.

Their bedroom TV is right next to the adjoining wall - they haven't even attempted to move it to help with the sound!

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BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 20/01/2017 13:51

Just thump on the wall next time.
They clearly don't give a toss

CrohnicallyPregnant · 20/01/2017 14:47

You have my sympathy! We used to live in a new build and the walls were so thin we could actually hear next door having a wee!

Is there any way you can move bedrooms? Our houses were designed so that our bedroom backed onto their bathroom, which helped keep noise down. They may have wall mounted the TV, which will transmit the sound more clearly into your house. Unfortunately I don't think listening to the Tv until 11pm will count as noise nuisance, but it's worth keeping a diary (including details of what you have said to neighbours)

Good luck! I kind of hope the acoustic testing comes back that they haven't sound proofed enough because then it will be the builders' responsibility to pay to sort it, and it might discourage them from cutting corners in future (out of interest, what company built the houses?)

Original poster
Carol2013 · 20/01/2017 16:50

Yes technically we could move bedrooms but it would be a massive hassle - dismantling of beds and we have had nice blinds fitted etc etc. I suppose I may have to if I want my sanity though.

Its Linden Homes who built our house. I've been reading quite a bit on New Build and soundproofing and it sounds like its generally not very good at the best of times.

Like you say, usually the tv isn't on late so not sure how seriously our complaints would be taken if we tried to make it official.

I get the distinct impression they just don't really care if they're disturbing us.

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