Aibu to think schools cannot win?

[arethereanyleftatall]

So far in the last few weeks, we've had:

'Shouldn't be a nativity play, my dc with small part is bored'
'Should be a nativity play, pc world gone mad'

'Should be an evening performance for working parents'
'Shouldn't be an evening performance, dc too tired'

'Siblings should be allowed, I've got no one to watch them'
'Siblings shouldn't be allowed, too noisy'

' teachers should teach instead of all this paperwork'
' teachers should send letters out to all parents checking their availability for play, and rewrite play as necessary thereafter.'

Anyone got anything else to complain about, during this joyous time of year?

I often am online quite late, but wasn't last night, and it was an issue that I needed to see several different people about before I could respond anyway. I'd sent him an email about five minutes before he came through the door telling him that I would be consulting people throughout the school day and get back to him after school once I had the information. It wasn't even urgent, it was about sporting clubs for next year, so not something that was time sensitive anyway.

Bloody hell. I assumed it was about bullying or something for him to be that irate. Sport clubs for next year. Bonkers.

LOL nope. And I'm in Australia, so next year actually means a whole new school year, and the PE teacher is leaving and no idea what the new guy is going to run yet anyway. Dad was not impressed that I couldn't tell him what sports we're running and what days lunchtime they will be on in the new school year.

But it's not a west end production, it's a simple school play

I'd be pissed at the TAs Daughter getting the same big parts each year too, screams of favouritism. In DCs old school it was always the same child / child from certain group of mums that won the bonnet parade / did the performance / nativity / play. I dont believe for one minute that in most schools 99% of the rest of the pupils are shy and wouldn't want to do it.

Nothing wrong with kids being 'bored' in a school nativity imo. Not everyone can have a main part and they need to learn that life is not about being constantly entertained ( by overworked teachers)

As an ex teacher, the type of parent who complains that their poor baba was bored in the school play is the reason why i left teaching!

I do agree that givibg the parts to the same students is pants though.

It's no more unfair than always having the same DCs in football teams.

My daughter was devastated this year when she was the only one who auditioned who didn't get a part at all.

She has SEN including a language disorder. She is bright, confident and animated. She went over the 4, yes 4!!!! lines continually and made a huge effort only to be refused and said part go to the child of a PTA parent who gets one every year.

When I pointed out how upset she was and how I'd hoped it could have been more inclusive I was told that they can't please everyone.

Absolute bollocks. It's favouritism and nothing to do with picking the best child for the role.

WillYou Exactly. It's the same favouritism that led to my DD being bullied the hell out of. The kid was a TAs DC and they didn't want to rock the boat

Your poor DD I understand. My DS had SNs and he's been practicing his two lines religiously. I can understand in larger schools as you can't please everyone or cast everyone but thats so unfair to not give her a part when everyone else had one. My DCs go to a smaller school and all pupils are accommodated for.

Thank you Awaywith, that's kind. .

I'm not sure that some teachers realise that kids will always carry with them the feelings of rejection and not being good enough. God knows it's hard enough when you have a disability without tipping the playing field against them even further.

Schools can't win but I like the system
They have at our school. Reception get their own nativity and everyone gets to do something - whether speaking or doing a dance in a group. Then years 1 and 2 do one together. Year ones are the background parts but again all get to do something - a dance, a song etc in a small group so their parents get to see them on stage. Then with the year 2s they all get a speaking part (there are 45 of them so most of them do a bit of narrating). We get told the date and time at the beginning of term so that working parents can arrange to get there

Our school does nativities and other plays across 2 year groups at a time- so year 1/2 might do nativity, 5/6 do an end of year leavers' conert...

The older year group, everyone gets a speaking part, even if it's just 1 line (and yes, we tend to rewrite, split lines and create extra parts, that means we have a lot of 'curious sheep's friend number 1' and 'king's page number 2').

The younger year group come on stage in groups to do dances or actions, either to the songs or for scene changes (8 twinkling stars, or 10 dancing snowmen).

Every single child is on stage at some point.

pilgit sounds very similar to ours!

We audition for the parts (KS1). Many children out of 90 don't want main parts.
We give the main speaking parts to those who are confident because standing up in front of 100s of parents and crying because you don't want to speak is ok for a smaller part but not the main character!
We have about 35/45 speaking parts for the Y2 and Y1 is the choir each year.
We have given a small speaking part to a SEN child who may or may not say it on the night - that's fine!
When we cast for performances, we spend hours thinking about parts and often rewriting the script. Hours and hours.
The thing which annoys me is that they children are happy with what part they get. It's the ungrateful parents who are disappointed.

You don't always know the reasons why decisions are made in life. You have to have a bit of faith that people who choose to work with children, love children and act in their best interests. Or what they perceive to be their best interests.

No one chooses their own son or daughter for a main part without good reason. It is awkward!!!

Have a bit of trust and faith people. I love my class and want the best for each and every one.

With the "it's favouritism" view of the same children being picked each year, as the class teacher change each year, are the teachers aware who was picked for the big roles the year before? Or are they just looking at the class anew and coming to the same conclusion about who'd be best at speaking roles as last year's teacher?

DinosaursRoar

It's not hard to get hold of last year's programme to see who was what last year....and the teachers may come to the same conclusion because the ones who are picked every year gain in confidence every year and the ones that aren't feel even more sh*y about themselves.

I asked for hands up who didn't want a speaking part in our play (which is not a proper production, just a weird semi-assembly thing) and half didn't want to. I made some of the lines 'group' lines and gave them those instead to say in threes. One of my worst behaved has the most lines because it also requires a very loud voice!

We have up to 90 children in each year group - there is no way they could all have a speaking part in a play!

Mumzypopz

In one of the schools that I have taught in, there was a complaint that only three girls were ever picked to do things.

Two of them were the daughters of a teacher, the other their friend, there was a massive argument about favouritism/nepotism.

So the girls were asked not to step forward for any parts (however small), not to sing on stage in assemblies, or even play in the school band.

For the next 12 months no-one stepped forward to do what these girls did, not one of the children from the whinging parents came forward, (and they were asked).

The next year the girls were asked to sing etc. and the whinging started up again.

I find that it is the same with the PTA, people complain but refuse to do the work themselves.

YANBU. I have to say that parents are very whingey about teachers at the moment but in the interests of fairness, I know some very whingey teachers (sister, SIL, cousin and friend) too. I think people are just tired and ready for a break. It's cold, it's dark and there's Christmas stresses and pressures. It's a shame that everyone can't relax a bit and let the little things go. Seasons greeting to all!

I think most people are suffering from End-Of-Term-Itis

BoneyBackJefferson

You don't mention how big the school was? I very much doubt in a school year of say 100, like at ours, no one else would want a go.....you also say "No one stepped forward to do what those girls did", there is a big difference between children stepping forward and children being asked by a teacher......and finally, just because that happened in that particular school, at that particular time, doesn't make it right for so many schools to constantly pick the same kids for everything.

itsmine you wrote I hope the crap practice of the sporty dc picking their teams has stopped in p.e, so fgs will teachers please stop this farce of the outgoing kids getting all the limelight in anything involving an audience. We don't care if the quiet ones aren't as good!!
Can't you see this is not comparing like with like? Sporty kids picking teams in PE is nothing like a teacher picking pupils for a play. It's more like a teacher picking pupils for a sports team to represent the school. Now, would you like to enf this practice of only the ones who can kick a ball being picked for the football team? Or would you rather the best team be picked? Why should those who are good lose out yo those who aren't in drama but not sport?

BonyBackJefferson

Interesting also to see that you refer to the parents who complained/pointed out that the same three girls got parts etc for years as "whinging parents"......surely they were pointing out something that wasn't fair....good for them I say... how boring it would have been for those parents to have to watch those Teacher's daughters again and again......and perhaps because those girls had been picked so often, all the other children were then lacking in confidence?