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Original poster

...To Be Extremely Upset About My Zombie Gnomes

30 replies

ConcreteUnderpants · 07/12/2016 13:30

Ok, sold some stuff on eBay and treated myself to some zombie gnomes that I have been lusting after for some time (I am not an avid gnome fan, but I think these are awesome). Put them on the front lawn where DD was going to get a 'normal" gnome they could chase after and infect.

Anyway, just arrived home and some bastard has nicked them!
I am uber pissed and need people to tell me not to put up a rude shouty missing sign on the nearby lamppost.

I can only hope I will receive some postcards from Great Yarmouth or a ransom note.

Alas I suspect they are busy looking evil in some fuckwit thief's garden. Sad

OP posts:
TitaniasCloset · 07/12/2016 13:32

Oh no!!; I wanted to see a picture too Xmas Sad

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 07/12/2016 13:33

I once stole a very old faded gnome when I was drunk, repainted it and returned it a week later.

I can actually paint, BTW. The gnome looked good.

Maybe they'll come back as un-undead gnomes.

TheGrandTourOfMyArse · 07/12/2016 13:33

Shit like that does my tits in. You can't have anything nice unless it's glued to the floor and even then it's not safe. No words of advice etc but just letting you know I'm annoyed on your behalf Angry

NaughtyLittlePassport · 07/12/2016 13:34

Put up the sign. I would be fuming. Zombie gnomes sound brilliant!

Twinkletowedelephant · 07/12/2016 13:37

Dd has a hedgehog house grandparents paid loads for it she wants it out in the front garden as that's where she has as seen a hedgehog...but I just know some bastardy passer by will nick it.
So it's in the back garden....empty

DontOpenDeadInside · 07/12/2016 13:37

Aww I've got one of these on my Xmas list (for the back garden though, wouldn't trust the front) I'd be just as gutted (where did you buy then from?)

GettingitwrongHauntingatnight · 07/12/2016 13:38

Wtf is wrong with people? Angry

Wookiecookies · 07/12/2016 13:39

OP, get yourself to the winchester and wait for all this to blow over.

Wookiecookies · 07/12/2016 13:40

In all seriousness though, hope you catch the Zombie Gnome stealing turds.

Original poster
ConcreteUnderpants · 07/12/2016 13:42

Thank you all for your collective annoyance.
I'll try and get a picture of them...

OP posts:
wornoutboots · 07/12/2016 13:43

available on amazon.

we also have a dinosaur eating gnomes, a ninja gnome (his eyes light up), a grave digger gnome, a grim reaper gnome and a gnome child playing on a "leafpad"

c3pu · 07/12/2016 13:43

OP, get yourself to the winchester and wait for all this to blow over.

c3pu · 07/12/2016 13:43

LOL

Original poster
ConcreteUnderpants · 07/12/2016 13:44

2 of these. I had even bought some paint to make their eyes glow

...To Be Extremely Upset About My Zombie Gnomes
OP posts:
Original poster
ConcreteUnderpants · 07/12/2016 13:44

And one of these beauties. (Already came with glow in the dark eyes)

...To Be Extremely Upset About My Zombie Gnomes
OP posts:
Original poster
ConcreteUnderpants · 07/12/2016 13:46

Wookie lol! Alas this is more serious, and I don't have a record collection to throw at the thief!

OP posts:
chewingawasp · 07/12/2016 13:59

Contact your local newspaper and have a photo taken of you and dd with sad faces. Someone will know where they are.

Original poster
ConcreteUnderpants · 07/12/2016 14:05

Good plan,chewing. I must practice in case I can only manage a I-got-my-ASDA-Christmas-jumper-an-hour-late-forlorn face, rather than a truly devastated look.

My sign isn't going too well. I can only come up with expletives and hopes of cursed doom. Arses.

OP posts:
DearMrDilkington · 07/12/2016 14:10

Someone stole my pumpkin one Halloween, I spent ages carving it as well.

I also once had a gnome that whistled when someone walked past it.. the poor guy never stood a chanceSad.
WineFlowers

wasonthelist · 07/12/2016 14:12

I am uber pissed

Maybe you'll feel better when you are sober.

wasonthelist · 07/12/2016 14:14

You can't have anything nice unless it's glued to the floor and even then it's not safe.

Why is this?

It doesn't happen in other (some) other countries.

Why do we have such a large incidence of thieves in much of the UK?

Bejazzled · 07/12/2016 14:14

It's a shame your gnomes got stolen and you're upset.

Do you also have blue Christmas lights? 😉

TheGrandTourOfMyArse · 07/12/2016 14:31

You can't have anything nice unless it's glued to the floor and even then it's not safe.

Why is this?

It doesn't happen in other (some) other countries.

Why do we have such a large incidence of thieves in much of the UK?

My theory is it's because nothing happens to the fuckers if they ever get caught and because the police are too overstretched and people feel as though they're wasting their time calling them out over something minor like this.

previously1474907171 · 07/12/2016 14:42

I have a Zombie gnome but he lives in the back garden with all the other various gnomes and non-gnomes. I only put things out the front that I am not so keen on and it seems that no-one else is either as they are still there, except for one hanging buxus ball which vanished after a delivery driver asked me to take in something for the neighbour. I assume she could only manage to pinch one, as the one on the other side of the door was still there. She may have intended to come back for it, only I took it down and put it in the back garden instead.

People will be getting their Christmas wreaths stolen now, it's that time of year.

MegaClutterSlut · 07/12/2016 14:47

What bastards! I planted a £2.50 tree in my front garden and some twat nicked itAngry

If it's any consolation I have the exact same gnome and it's now turned completely white from the sun so not that great Hmm

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