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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU? I probably am but...

60 replies

OdinsLoveChild · 07/12/2016 12:59

A big community Christmas event was planned by a group I volunteer with. The person organising it had to pull out half way through due to ill health, the tickets had been printed and posters sorted etc so just to keep the whole event going I volunteered to step in and finish the organising.

I had to find a new venue because the original one had been cancelled following the departure of the other organiser, they had also cancelled the caterers and entertainment. I have had to organise all this again for the same date and I have paid for it myself to be refunded once the tickets are all sold.

The AIBU bit is I have just had an email from another volunteer (selling tickets and putting up posters type help) who has said that because I hadn't paid for my reserved tickets by the last date stipulated (Monday) she has now sold them. I know she allocated herself free tickets (as agreed previously) but she has sold my tickets because I hadn't paid .
If I'm honest with you I hadn't actually expected to pay for my tickets myself as I have paid for the venue, catering and entertainment out of my own pocket to be reimbursed later but its still money I cannot spend until its repaid. We had a certain number allocated to be given away free for volunteers of which she has allocated me none. And now the event will go ahead without me being there. All tickets are now sold and I cant go because of the fire regulations regarding numbers at the venue.

I'm feeling a bit pissed off about it all. I think Old mardy pants (Other volunteer) has deliberately sold my tickets so she can tell everyone she organised it all herself.

SO go on then AIBU for thinking I should have had free tickets like the other volunteers? AIBU for thinking she deliberately sold my tickets so I didn't show her up on the dance floor? For the record I will never be doing this again.

OP posts:

Soubriquet · 07/12/2016 13:02

How bloody rude!

Yanbu

LIZS · 07/12/2016 13:05

Technically volunteers shouldn't receive any reward, financial or material. However yanbu to expect to be treated the same as others. Point out that you had expected to pay for the tickets only when you would be reimbursed. Is there a strict limit on numbers?

Original poster

OdinsLoveChild · 07/12/2016 13:08

Yes. LIZS the numbers are set in stone. The group have always rewarded their volunteers this way. They cant afford to cover any travel expenses and don't provided tea or coffee for their members despite raising funds for various charities. This was the one thing they said they could do that made it all worthwhile for those that help.

I'm just cross that she didn't tell me I hadn't got free tickets as I could have sorted paying for them

OP posts:

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 07/12/2016 13:09

Extremely, extremely rude. Could she not have given you a heads up when you missed the last payment date, to say you needed to pay that day or they would be sold? It sounds the least she could have done given how much you've taken on.

I'd push back on this, personally. Ask her why she has free tickets and you have none.

FrancisCrawford · 07/12/2016 13:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

OdinsLoveChild · 07/12/2016 13:15

I'm not brave enough to confront her about it. I might get a nice big pen and scribble across the bottom of the posters and say 'Organised by Odins'.
I'm not helping at the next event. DH thinks I shouldn't have helped at this one. He also thinks I should cancel the payments for the catering/entertainment and let her have to explain on the night.......I'm too chicken to do that

OP posts:

NoSunNoMoon · 07/12/2016 13:15

Tell her she needs to get you some tickets or surrender her own or you will cancel the lot.

5to2 · 07/12/2016 13:20

Are there still tickets left?

Tell her to pay for her tickets.

Pettywoman · 07/12/2016 13:23

Tell her she caused the problem and she has to sort it out. You will be going.

WhatInTheWorldIsGoingOn · 07/12/2016 13:27

I would demand some tickets I'm afraid. I wouldn't worry too much about where she is going to find them. Tell her that you will obviously cancel all of your payments for the event if you aren't even allowed to go. Clearly she has done this on purpose.

myfavouritecolourispurple · 07/12/2016 13:27

Go anyway. Someone is bound not to turn up. Wait until everyone is in and then you can go in too.

TitaniasCloset · 07/12/2016 13:29

What?!!!! She is unbelievable! What a cow. I do think yabu if you let her get away with this, you absolutely must confront her and get your ticket. I would also speak to the other volunteers ask if they have any tickets left and tell them what she did.

Do not help out again and explain why.

AllPowerfulLizardPerson · 07/12/2016 13:32

You could go nuclear, state that you did not know you were not included as a volunteer for the purposes of ticket allocation.

You are therefore investigating whether you can cancel (in order to get refunds) all the arrangements which you have made, as even partial refunds would make a significant financial difference to you. That you were happy to stand the costs even at the expense of personal straitened circumstances whilst you believed your contibution was valued, but you now realise you have misunderstood.

And copy it to all the volunteers.

Actually, of course you cannot really do that. But for me the urge would be very, very strong.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 07/12/2016 13:33

OP I don't like confrontation either but sometimes you really do need to stick up for yourself. I'd make this one of these times - she's treating you like a total prick. You've paid for everything up front, stepped in when other organiser couldn't do it. And she couldn't extend you the courtesy of a reminder about payment?! If she wants you to pay for the tickets I'd let that go, but to now leave you not even able to attend the function you've put together - no, she needs to get told.

Original poster

OdinsLoveChild · 07/12/2016 13:33

Go anyway. Someone is bound not to turn up. Wait until everyone is in and then you can go in too.

I'm going to do this ^ I think.

Ive emailed her and told her I will be there at 7.30pm on Friday (starts at 7pm, food at 8pm) I actually plan to arrive at 6.30pm and get in first before she does I will meander a bit and 'check' everything to make sure its all arrived and in place so I will be in there legitimately.

Check the daily mail on Saturday morning for any evidence of a big bust up at a swanky hotel, we have an MP attending as a guest of honour.

OP posts:

Cocolepew · 07/12/2016 13:33

What the hell, how rude. DON'T let her get away with it

TheMerryWidow1 · 07/12/2016 13:35

tell her you want all the money you've paid out refunded to you immediately. You are not their walking credit card.

Wookiecookies · 07/12/2016 13:37

This woman is a real treat isnt she? OP YADNBU. You must say something, this is totally unfair of her.

BoopTheSnoot · 07/12/2016 13:38

Sorry but I absolutely wouldn't stand for that kind of bullshit.
Just tell her that you are going- you've paid for it after all! And that if numbers are an issue, she can give up one of her allocated freebies. She sounds like a glory-seeking mare.

viques · 07/12/2016 13:41

Don't worry, not everyone will turn up, they never do, and anyway one or two extra people is not going to make any difference, and if by any chance some jobs worth is counting people in or out just sweep past and say "organiser" in a grand voice. I am pretty sure that venue numbers refer to guests not organisers or helpers.

Ps if by any chance you are running the raffle and entitled person buys some I would be sorely tempted to not put her counter foils in the draw. Petty? Moi?

.have a lovely time , and I hope someone in the organisation has the grace to thank you for saving the day, but don't hold your breath.

OutDamnedWind · 07/12/2016 13:41

You have to stand up on this. Tell her you will be attending and that you won't be paying, as is the normal procedure with volunteers.

Serialweightwatcher · 07/12/2016 13:42

That's awful of her - you need to say something and tell her she was being rude .... it's better to stand up to her than to do all this for nothing and fume forever - nasty cowbag

Original poster

OdinsLoveChild · 07/12/2016 13:43

Ps if by any chance you are running the raffle and entitled person buys some I would be sorely tempted to not put her counter foils in the draw. Petty? Moi?

I hadn't even considered this....... I couldn't do it, it would always be on my mind 'what if someone saw me' 'will I get into trouble'. I need to get a grip I think. People wouldn't do this to me if I put my foot down more

OP posts:

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 07/12/2016 13:45

This is appallingly rude, and I agree with OP and everyone else that it is deliberate. Tell her you're going. Don't ask. Email her and say you will be getting free volunteer tickets, and that unless she sorts this out you will have to reconsider your financial commitment.

humblesims · 07/12/2016 13:49

Tell her she caused the problem and she has to sort it out. You will be going.

This exactly. And if possible tell her it in front of the other volunteers so they know exactly what a snide she is.

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