to think I'm never going to be able to get a job?

[Clara81]

I am in the last year of a degree, and starting to panic think about what I'm going to do at the end of it. I am on target to get a high 2:1 or maybe even a first from a very good university. I'm 35 and prior to uni I have been self employed for 12 years, running my own small business, and before then mostly admin/secretarial work.

I am a single parent and I know that the changes to the benefits system are going to mean that I will not be able to carry on with my business once universal credit comes in, and I did a degree so that I could get a job, but I really don't see how it's going to happen. The problems I have are:

1. Childcare - the only childcare available locally is the after school club, which runs from 8-6. There are literally no childminders in the small town that I live in so there is no hope of being able to extend those hours at all (my youngest dd is 6 so will be too young to leave alone for quite some time). Also my eldest dd has Aspergers and has issues with going to school so expecting her to be independent enough to get herself there in the mornings isn't necessarily feasible.

2. Location. I live in a town of 3000 people, and there is one largish town which is about 40 minutes away normally. I've no idea what the rush hour traffic is like, but I'm guessing it will take me a fair bit longer. Still maybe doable if I could find a 9-5 job. It is a fair size town but still fairly backwards and rural, and I've kept a bit of an eye on job opportunities, and in a nutshell, I haven't seen anything suitable come up as of yet. But other than that town, there are just other very small towns and villages in the area that I would be able to get to in the time available. I can't move as we moved 10 times in 10 years before we were here, my eldest DD (the one with Aspergers) ended up going to 5 schools. The kids are settled and happy and have friends here, which is massive, and it really wouldn't be fair to uproot them again. The secondary school here is in the top 10 state schools in the country, so from that point of view I would be mad to move them as it really is an amazing school.

3. My mental health - I have depression and PTSD after a very abusive relationship. I am generally functioning and improving all the time but I do have days/periods of time where I take to my bed and shut down. I find this really frustrating as I just want to be better and get on with stuff, but that's what's going on for me. This hasn't been so bad whilst studying, because if I'm not coping that day I can just miss a lecture, but I know that once I have a job that's not going to be an option and I really don't know how I'm going to cope.

4. My dog. I know this may sound like a ridiculous reason but I have a dog who is 13 and has been there for me his whole life. He comes pretty much everywhere with me and can't cope if I leave him, he cries, even if there is someone else in the house :(. He has had me around for his whole life, and if I started working and having to leave him that would be really cruel. I have looked into doggy daycare options and basically there aren't any even remotely nearby, especially considering my time constraints with childcare. I know there is Borrow my Doggy but that is asking a favour of someone so therefore won't necessarily be reliable, and I couldn't leave him alone but also couldn't phone up work and say I can't come in because I have no dog sitter!

Aaaargh, it looks even worse written down. I don't know what the answer is, but I do know that the Tories are going to make sure I can't carry on as I am, so I will have to somehow get a job. But AIBU to think that this is going to be very, very difficult, given my circumstances?

That does sound tough but there is a lot more flexible and remote working around these days so don't give up!

I'm disgusted that lone parents (and presumably disabled people) wont be able to be self employed and work from home any more.
You might have to move, OP. Like you didn't have enough on your plate.

Good luck with your finals

If you don't have any doggy day care locally, is that a potential gap you could exploit? Just a thought.

Thank you for the replies. There is a definite market for doggy day care but I live in a small HA house so wouldn't be able to do it from here. The fact that I am in a HA house would make it more difficult to move, because I'd have to try to get an exchange. The area is good but the house itself is quite crap in a lot of ways so not very desirable. And even if I did move there is no way I could make DD1 move schools yet again, she has come such a long way at the school she is at and it would be the worst possible thing for her to move again, so even if I moved I'd have to try and work out a way of getting her to school here from wherever we lived, so seems a bit pointless.

Could a PT employment, PT self-employment combo work?

Look at local government jobs for decent, family-friendly graduate jobs and PT options.

If I could find a suitable part time job that could be the answer, but I haven't seen a single suitable graduate level part time job advertised :/

Can see myself ending up getting a job in the local shop or something just to get the tories off my case and wondering why I just spent 4 years and over £50k studying!

I totally understand you won't want to 'out' yourself but im intrigued about your location because on the one hand you make it sound very remote with poor travel links but you say you're at a good university so you've coped with getting to lectures and seminars etc
Where do other graduates tend to go for employment?
Having invested so much in your degree I would seriously consider one more move to a better location if that's what it takes to get yourself into a decent job. It's always easy to find reasons not to move, because frankly it's unsettling and the status quo is always easier, but it seems a shame to put so much financial and emotional energy into achieving a good degree if you're not then going to do what it takes to make yourself as marketable as possible

A better location would make the childcare issues easier. It's never easy and always expensive (been there done that!) but at least in a better location you'll have greater options

I think the dog issue is one you'll just have to sort out, paying a dog walker /sitter or whatever. I get that if you've been around a lot over the last few years the dog will miss you but TBH if you're serious about working you'll need to find a solution to that

Good luck

The uni I go to is a few miles out of the city (on my side) and I can drive there in 40 minutes. But to get into the city itself is a different story, especially at rush hour. I've looked at trains and the only one I could possibly get leaves 10 minutes before breakfast club starts so that's not an option.

I really can't move, not for the next few years, I promised my eldest we would stay here until she finishes school so that's what I have to do. She had many years with no friends whatsoever, and had a breakdown in the last year of primary and was suicidally depressed. Since starting secondary she has not only made a group of friends but she is the centre of the group (they are the misfits I guess!). She is settled and happy and taking that away from her would be disastrous for her mental health. I couldn't do it to her.

And I'm not sure where other graduates go, but there is a very very low rate of mature students at my uni, so as they are virtually all young and free of ties I guess they can go wherever they like.

Do jobs ever come up at the school? E.g. Business Manager or Office Manager (not sure if that fits with your degree subject?)
Maybe try to do a bit of volunteering at school to get your foot in the door?

It sounds like your eldest might be eligible for children's disability benefits (DLA) if she needs more support than other children her age? If she gets DLA you, as her carer, no longer have to meet the minimum work requirements-or even work at all- in order to get UC and so could carry on your business/take part time work until she finishes school and you can move. more info on DLA

Does your uni careers service have lists of local employers that employ graduates?

Look at a combination of driving and public transport. If it's that bad to get into the city then it's obviously quite a hub of employment/tourists so there will be a way, just do your research and be prepared to think outside the box- e.g. You may need to advertise for childcare specifically with your dds needs in mind

Just as an example- when I started using day nursery 20 years ago, there were far fewer and the only one within striking distance opened 8 to 6 - no earthly good for me as a teacher as I need to actually be in work before 8. However I made enquiries and they agreed to open the days I needed at 7.30; I had to pay double rate for that extra 30 mins, but if I hadn't asked, I wouldn't have got, if you see what I mean.
Those early years of childcare are tough and expensive (and will seem more so for you if you've been able to fit uni around school) but you need to think of it as a long term investment

Getting a job in a school would be ideal but not sure if my degree would be much good (social sciences). I already claim dla for my daughter but they only awarded her the lowest rate mobility and nothing for care, so I can't claim the carer's allowance.

I will go and see the careers advisors at uni and see if they have any bright ideas. I've been meaning to do that but with minimal time available to study with everything else I have going on I've just been firefighting deadlines all semester so far.

As for getting the wrap around care to do extended hours just for me, I think I'd be pissing in the wind there. The woman that runs it is not very helpful, she wouldn't even let me use the toilet there when I was desperate for a wee one day!

Thanks for all the ideas so far!

If your business made money, why can't you continue it?

Doubt you'd want to use that care anyway if the person running it has an attitude like that!!

Re-reading your OP, you have a lot of challenges and you mention just taking days off if you can't cope with lectures due to your mental health and of course this won't be feasible with a job. Perhaps it would be more realistic to focus on this area of your life first... Being a WOHP is challenging enough (I often genuinely think if I hadn't plunged straight in when dc1 was a few months old I'd never have done it!) In your case you've been able to work things around your children and dog and there's been no come-back from taking days off now and again, so it's going to be a big adjustment.

It makes money but once the minimum income floor comes in with universal credit it won't make enough money for them to consider it a viable business. With UC if you have to hit the targets each month that they set you (and they are high!). My business doesn't really work like that, some months are good but others not so good, which wouldn't be good enough for them.

When you started your degree, what was your plan for what you would do on graduation?

you can be self employed, just make sure you earn enough, and its really not that terrible even if you don't quite meet the thresholds.

instead of just rolling over and giving up, find ways to bring in more work, be more positive and pro active

before you think I'm a tory arse, I'm actually a self employed single mum getting tax credits. I was looking the new rules in the face and wondering what I'd do. I decided to fight for my self employment and started doing a thing called 'non zero days' where basically every day you make sure you're doing something, anything towards acheiving your goal (in my case, I set myself a goal of earning at least min wage for a 30/35 hour week, every week)

Anyway after doing that for a year and really focusing on it I've earnt a lot more than I was expecting. Please don't give in so easily and be so defeated. Explore all business avenues and channel your inner xenia (controversial old poster but she was very good at encouraging us to dare to try, to earn more, to get paid what we deserve, etc)

I really am trying to work on my mh, I've had several bouts of counselling (including at the moment), and I'm a thousand times better than I was a few years back, but it's like he broke something in my head and I can't fix it. I have manic flurries of doing stuff, like getting assignments done, then I'm spent, I can't keep the momentum going. I know that I am going to have to dig deep and find the energy from somewhere to move into work but I feel like I'm running on empty as it is, so it will be hard.

When I started my degree it was actually working towards a specific vocation, but that was the year my daughter had her breakdown and the diagnosis process started, and it became clear that a full time placement in the second year wasn't going to be an option because I needed to support her, so I changed courses in year 2.

Lubeybooby - thank you, that's the kind of motivational speech I needed. I don't have much time at the moment to plough into the business, but I am planning on going all out as soon as I do have time (end of May now I guess!) to make more money. Though the platform that I sell on seems to have bottomed out lately, I have a much bigger inventory than this time last year but my Christmas sales are so far about half what they were. And also, much as I love doing it, I wonder what the point of having a degree is if I just carry on doing what I was doing before I started studying!

Why not look at Teach First or something where you are paid 'on the job' and you don't necessarily have to have a specialism.
I did similar with two children with ASD and one who was subsequently sectioned. It was tough but I love teaching and it fits.

One sector that is pretty good at employing mature graduates is...higher education.

So I would suggest keeping an eye on jobs at the university you are studying at. I don't mean as a lecturer etc, but in the plethora of more behind the scenes work. Administration, finance, marketing, student support, alumni services, estate management, fundraising, events...

Your university will have a jobs page on their website, plus jobs.ac.uk will also have a rundown.

Job shares come up pretty frequently in universities ( people returning after maternity leave), so the possibility of decent part-time work is there too, if you want to combine it with your business.

There is also scope to be proactive- see if you can get a part-time job/volunteer slot on campus that is only open to students, those often lead to jobs after graduation, or at least make you a known quantity.

Being a graduate of that university plus being mature and having real-life experience will make you quite attractive to them. And universities are usually quite good about further training/study opportunities for staff too.

Thanks, I did look into teaching but the there is no PGCE for the degree I'm doing. The nearest thing would be history/geography and I haven't done those for nearly 20 years!

And yes the uni is a good idea, I have looked at their jobs page a few times, and they seem to pay well. I'm a bit worried that they might not employ me because I've been quite upfront with them about my mh issues (I've had to, because I've needed extensions etc at times), so that might go against me. But if you don't ask you don't get I guess!

Wouldn't worry to much about the MH issues, in my experience university departments don't usually look into student records to that depth when hiring. They might double check you've graduated or take up a reference from a tutor if you supply their name as a referee. If the department you apply to wasn't directly involved in granting an extension, it's unlikely they'll know. Even if they did know, universities are usually at the more understanding end of employers when it comes to health issues.