to think I'm never going to be able to get a job?

[Clara81]

I am in the last year of a degree, and starting to panic think about what I'm going to do at the end of it. I am on target to get a high 2:1 or maybe even a first from a very good university. I'm 35 and prior to uni I have been self employed for 12 years, running my own small business, and before then mostly admin/secretarial work.

I am a single parent and I know that the changes to the benefits system are going to mean that I will not be able to carry on with my business once universal credit comes in, and I did a degree so that I could get a job, but I really don't see how it's going to happen. The problems I have are:

1. Childcare - the only childcare available locally is the after school club, which runs from 8-6. There are literally no childminders in the small town that I live in so there is no hope of being able to extend those hours at all (my youngest dd is 6 so will be too young to leave alone for quite some time). Also my eldest dd has Aspergers and has issues with going to school so expecting her to be independent enough to get herself there in the mornings isn't necessarily feasible.

2. Location. I live in a town of 3000 people, and there is one largish town which is about 40 minutes away normally. I've no idea what the rush hour traffic is like, but I'm guessing it will take me a fair bit longer. Still maybe doable if I could find a 9-5 job. It is a fair size town but still fairly backwards and rural, and I've kept a bit of an eye on job opportunities, and in a nutshell, I haven't seen anything suitable come up as of yet. But other than that town, there are just other very small towns and villages in the area that I would be able to get to in the time available. I can't move as we moved 10 times in 10 years before we were here, my eldest DD (the one with Aspergers) ended up going to 5 schools. The kids are settled and happy and have friends here, which is massive, and it really wouldn't be fair to uproot them again. The secondary school here is in the top 10 state schools in the country, so from that point of view I would be mad to move them as it really is an amazing school.

3. My mental health - I have depression and PTSD after a very abusive relationship. I am generally functioning and improving all the time but I do have days/periods of time where I take to my bed and shut down. I find this really frustrating as I just want to be better and get on with stuff, but that's what's going on for me. This hasn't been so bad whilst studying, because if I'm not coping that day I can just miss a lecture, but I know that once I have a job that's not going to be an option and I really don't know how I'm going to cope.

4. My dog. I know this may sound like a ridiculous reason but I have a dog who is 13 and has been there for me his whole life. He comes pretty much everywhere with me and can't cope if I leave him, he cries, even if there is someone else in the house :(. He has had me around for his whole life, and if I started working and having to leave him that would be really cruel. I have looked into doggy daycare options and basically there aren't any even remotely nearby, especially considering my time constraints with childcare. I know there is Borrow my Doggy but that is asking a favour of someone so therefore won't necessarily be reliable, and I couldn't leave him alone but also couldn't phone up work and say I can't come in because I have no dog sitter!

Aaaargh, it looks even worse written down. I don't know what the answer is, but I do know that the Tories are going to make sure I can't carry on as I am, so I will have to somehow get a job. But AIBU to think that this is going to be very, very difficult, given my circumstances?

You can do a PGCE for primary education - doesn't need to be subject specific for that

I was a lone parent, graduate, in 2006 when I started working. What I found was the only viable option for childcare was to share a room with DD and get an au pair. That gave me the flexibility to work early/late as necessary with a minimum of disruption for DD who was then 5. I was also able to claim childcare costs of the au pair (she registered with Ofsted).

It wasn't ideal - I slept on a futon - but it did work well.

Seconding the pp who said try the university - they're like icebergs, you see the students and the lecturers on top but underneath there's ZILLIONS of professional services administrators buzzing around getting the actual practicalities of organising Xtythousand students and perhaps 800-1000 academics done.

Anything that happens in a business happens in a univeristy too, on the backend of things, and we even have enterprise teams that do more private sectory things like selling and drumming up funding.

What's VITAL when you apply for an HE job is that you carefully, carefully, exactly address and evidence every single point on the person spec when you apply. So if there's 19 things, take them in order and write it on the statement even if it seems obvious to you. E.g. don't rely on the fact that you've got X years of office admin on your CV, actually say 'I have X years of office administration, including achievements like...' and tailor those achievements to the job you're applying for. Statements like 'I am really organised' won't get you an interview, but 'In my previous role I demonstrated my organisational skills by...' and a great example will.

Thanks all.

I don't think I could handle primary teaching, I gaze in wonderment at my dc's teachers and wonder how they haven't gone mad yet.

And that's very reassuring re the higher education jobs. The only thing that concerns me is addressing each and every one of the specific requirements, as for the jobs I've looked at (the most basic of the lot) there are always a couple of things that I don't have, usually knowledge of specific university related software programmes. Then I wonder how on earth is anyone supposed to learn about these programmes without having had a job in a university?! It's a chicken and egg situation. But in theory, if I can get my foot in the door, working at the uni could work out. It's a very big uni so lots of opportunities, and I know I can get there within the restraints of my childcare options.

also, back track to your original plan which was a vocational degree with a year long work placement. What were your travel plans for getting there if you'd been able to continue? I'm assuming if it was a medical placement or similar you could have been working tricky shifts too?

I know things have changed since then with your dds diagnosis, but sometimes when life throws a curve ball (which I know is horrible- one of my own dc developed a serious physical health problem) it can be easy to throw all your plans out the window. Take stock and consider the difficulties you would have faced then anyway Eg. What would you have done with the dog while out on work placement all day? How would you have traveled to and from a work placement which would probably have been less convenient than uni? You were resourceful in having a plan to overcome those problems so it may be that you can still use some of those ideas even though you've obviously got to tweak them

For those things, use an example that you have that's closest - so if you're applying for, I dunno, HR, and they ask you about SAP, you can google it to find out as much as you can and then say something that shows you know what it is and then something aobut how you've handled something similar (a client database or something?) and that you udnerstand related issues (confidentiality for HR, I guess).

The thing is, we "mark" the applications, and if you don't address it at all you're chucking away all those points. If you address it and it's a bit of a tangential example, you may still get one point, or more if the recruiter likes your style - and that could be the thing that tips you over the edge and into interview.

HE are often open to job shares and things like that btw so worth asking around about. Try chatting to your course officer/admin about it, they'll be able to give you the inside track on how things are there.

Munster - my original plan was that I would send my dog to live with my ex for while when I had to do placement - this would have been fine for the x number of weeks of placement but it's not a permanent solution. And in terms of the travelling time, I was going to pray that the uni took pity on me and gave me a placement that was easy-ish to get to. However, when I met the placements officer it was apparent that she seemed to take some weird pleasure from being difficult and that was another reason I changed courses.

And thanks Susan, that's really helpful.

Also agree about keeping a careful eye out at the uni where you study. Find out if they do graduate internships or something like that - can be a great way to find out how the internal systems work, and it's a big advantage when going for a job. Opportunities come up to cover maternity leave etc - another good way of getting a foot in the door.

May be completely off the mark here, but was just wondering about your use of the word 'shut down', when talking about how you sometimes need time to recover. ASD can run in families, so do you think you might have some traits? I only mention it because learning that I have ASD has made a huge difference to my life, because it helps me understand the situations that are likely to make me uncomfortable, and plan for them. Obviously I don't know you, and am just reacting to your use of one word!

Work wise, many jobs have flexibility for the right candidate. I occasionally work from home, and have very flexible hours. It's very difficult to plan these things, because you don't always know what opportunities are out there!

My advice is to apply for FT jobs and at interview ask if they would consider PT. I did that successfully withy current role. Good luck!

Does your university have a branch of Unitemps or take part in the Ambitious Futures graduate trainee scheme?