To not tell FIL

[Maxwellthecat]

So recently my FIL has been hinting that he wants us to hurry on up and get to having grandbabys for him as quickly as possible.
My DH is an only child and his parents have been super supportive financially if a little (very very) overbearing.
Recently my FIL has been making hints about us having children, for example in a family Facebook group about a cousins wedding arrangements he said 'weddings, weddings, weddings, when will we have a christening?' To which I replied 'feel free to have a Druid naming ceremony for one of our cats whenever you like' to which I got no reply.
Then last night they gave us a Christmas decoration which was a mini fireplace with stockings hanging off it, FIL had very kindly written our names on the stockings and it is very sweet, he'd done one for me, my DH, the cats and left one blank 'for room for expansion in the family wink' I replied, 'that's funny we have been discussing getting a dog' and he laughed and said 'you know that's not what I mean'.

the thing is me and DH don't even know if we want kids, and we certainly won't be having them soon. I know that DH is there only chance for grandchildren and it makes me feel so guilty but I have a lovely life as it is and don't want a baby. Am I being unreasonable to just not say anything to FIL about it or should I tell him we aren't trying, I don't want to keep his hopes up but also fuck off out my fucking womb!

Lotta, I do challenge him on things and I think that's why he does it to me more.

In my family if we have something to say to someone we will quite often make a joke of it even though we have a serious point but he does NOT like to feel like the butt of a joke.

In light of the new update he sounds more like my DM, who says nasty stuff and then denies it or makes out I'm the one 'being awful' for ever mentioning it again.

Tell him to stop, next time he does it walk out and go NC for a week, rinse and repeat. Up the NC if a week doesn't work. Whatever happens you don't have to hear the comments any more. It sounds harsh but it's the only thing I've found that works.

I have the opposite issue, i've said all my life i didn't want children, & i am glad i haven't so far as i split with both my long term partners.
Now i feel differently, my DP now wants them and i know he would be 100% supportive of me and allow me to still do my hobbies etc too.

My dad & his family thinks womens only jobs are to reproduce and raise families, but he has never once pressured me or hinted. My mum however, was clearly pressured by my dad and his family to have children & once she did, my dad was unsupportive of her having a life other than child raising so she could not afford to continue owning horses. So, as i have said all my life that i don't want children, i can't tell my mum that we plan to start TTC next year. I genuinely think she will be mortified when i hopefully announce i am pregnant. She will assume DP has pressured me and that i will have to give all my horses up etc (I won't, they are my sanity and life, a child just adds to it like all my other equestrian friends who have had children)

I don't understand why it's anyone elses business in a family whether/when you decide to have children or not