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AIBU?

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Original poster

To get really frustrated by the Think 25 rule

439 replies

Cloeycat · 05/12/2016 10:53

Not so much having to be ID'd but the fact that if I am with my partner and don't have my wallet (I'm over 25 and also obviously pregnant) that he is not able to purchase alcohol for himself unless I hide or pretend not to be with him.

I don't always carry my ID with me, especially if we are just popping to our local supermarket for something for dinner and he is paying but it is so frustrating that I then have to wait outside the door in the cold like a naughty 16yr old so that he can buy himself a beer or bottle of wine.

Does this rule apply to parents buying alcohol if they are accompanied by children who are under 18? Or is it just when it is two adults trying to legally buy alcohol that a problem arises?

OP posts:
dustarr73 · 07/12/2016 10:01

Look at teh end of the day you wouldnt risk your job for a random stranger.Why should someone on the tills be any different.

I sold alcohol to adults who had kids with them,and teenagers.I never sold it if i thought it was a proxy sale.People give themselves away all the time.Getting the teenagers to pick it out,hand over the money while in the eyeline of someone on the till.

Im sure i got it wrong a few times ,im only human but that doesnt mean i deserved the abuse i got.No one does.

AntiqueSinger · 07/12/2016 10:16

List one person here who is saying shop staff deserve abuse?

Doman · 07/12/2016 10:27

My husband runs a bar and we operate the Challenge 25 policy. I'm not sure if it differs in stores, but our policy is not about proving that you're 18. It's proving that you are over 21 if you look under 25. It is a safeguard for us and our staff and, frankly, if you know you are going to get asked then you should be prepared to take ID with you. It's not a big deal.

Alwaysfrank · 07/12/2016 21:14

This thread has me staggered! I am almost 50; I have never in my life been asked for ID, not since I first went to a pub or club at 14/15. My youngest child has turned 13 today - I have pictures in my album of me having wine with a family meal at home on my 13th birthday which by today's standards seems shocking.

Apparently we have a huge problem of underage drinking, ever worsening. The "think 25" policy seems to me therefore to be worse than useless but symptomatic of the times we live in - as long as retailers, councils, trading standards, licencees etc can be seen to tick the "think 25" box, then everything is ok.

When I was young (underage) I may have bought one alcoholic drink or none at all but I and my friends were not going out with the sole intention of getting bladdered. I'm not sure the biggest problem we have today is underage drinking per se but the drinking culture amongst young people in general, most of whom can buy alcohol quite legally because they aren't underage.

alwaystimeforgin · 07/12/2016 21:31

I got ID'd for ibuprofen and I'm 25. I had a awful headache hence why I was buying the ibuprofen and I nearly lost the plot when they refused to serve it me. Sometimes I think they need to just use common sense! I look like I am way past 16 years old!

AntiqueSinger · 07/12/2016 21:51

Well said AlwaysFrank

noeffingidea · 07/12/2016 22:37

always I'm 56 and I've never been IDed either.
I don't see how underage drinking is getting worse though. When I was a teenager we all started drinking at 12 or 13. And smoking at 9 or 10.

madein1995 · 07/12/2016 23:46

Different cashiers have a different opinion on how old someone looks though. When I'm applying think 25 I'm not thinking of what someone else would do - this sale is my responsibility so I only depend on my judgement. As I am crap with ages I may be over cautious at times, rather that than my job. Also, we have to be really careful. Even if we know the customer is over age (eg from school or training etc) but looks under 25 we still have to ID them in case someone is watching. Ridiculous I know but that's how it is. I've been in your position OP and forgotten ID or a friend hasn't got theirs - I've just split up with friend somewhere out of the obvious sight of cashiers (so not right at the front of aisle) and gone to a completely different till, and met up with them in a few minutes. It's a bit more effort admittedly but it's not the checkout persons fault you've left your ID and if they think you look under 25 they have to ID you. I wish it didn't happen either!

SeriousCreativeBlock · 08/12/2016 00:12

I hate this. I'm 24 but look slightly younger. One time I went to a corner shop to redeem some money from a scratchcard. I had my 2 year old daughter with me who was calling me "mummy". The man on the till asked me for ID. And I was incredulous.

"Are you seriously saying I look 15?"
"Yes I am."
"I have my daughter with me..."
"I still think you look younger than 16"
"I DROVE HERE!"

Luckily I had my ID in the car so that wasn't a problem. But the thing that really irritated me was that some woman behind me decided to chime in about how it's a compliment. No it definitely isn't.

Now I have my ID out ready whenever I buy alcohol/cigarettes.

honeyroar · 08/12/2016 00:21

I used to get asked all the time. It drove me mad. Then one day in my 30s they stopped. I actually miss it!

My worst one was in the states. I'm cabin crew, my younger brother had come away with me, I was 30 he was 27. I had to do a internal US flight, there and back to another city. When I got back to the hotel my brother had gone to the bar down the road, a five minute walk through some open space. I set off to meet him. I soon noticed a man who seemed to be following me. I walked faster, he walked faster. I started running, he started running. I ran faster, so did he. He started catching up. I made it to the bar just as the man got to the bar's carpark, phew! Then the doormen wouldn't let me in because I didn't have ID!! Luckily I had such a rant my brother saw me and came out (they'd let him in without ID!) and eventually I was allowed in. (Stalker man had gone by that point).

puddingbunny · 08/12/2016 05:17

As a grey-haired nearly-fortysomething, I very rarely get asked for ID. If I do, I just leave the bottle at the checkout and avoid buying alcohol there in future. If they don't want my money that's fine, I'll take it elsewhere.

Maybe if everyone responded in the same way to inappropriate challenges the shops would calm down a bit and stop trying to convince their workers that they will go to prison if they accidentally sell a bottle of wine to a 24-year-old?

PurpleNurple69 · 08/12/2016 07:35

The only problem we've faced is if our 19YO daughter puts any alcohol on the conveyer belt, when she's with us, she gets ID'd. They once had to leave without my emergency bottle of wine because she didn't have ID on her.

I was very cross Smile

AntiqueSinger · 08/12/2016 07:47

seriouscreative I hate that 'but it's a compliment'.....Hmm

No, a compliment leaves me feeling good. This leaves me having to take longer or walk further to get the items I want.

nooka · 08/12/2016 07:49

I've been ID'd for alcohol three times in my life (to date!). Once in a pub in Scotland when I was 16 (and had been drinking in pubs for a while), which was embarrassing, but a fair cop. Once in a pub in Boston when I was in my mid 20s, which was OK but annoying as dh, who is younger than me wasn't ID'd. And then much more recently at 42 in a local off license which was just bloody annoying as I didn't have any ID on me at the time, and it was a really stupid error by the cashier.

Refusing to serve someone obviously not only well over the age of 18 but long out of their 20s is likely to result in aggravation. Of course no one should get threatened or abused but don't get thirty when customers are pissed off about being called out, embarrassed and stopped from getting their shopping when they are perfectly lawfully wanting to buy an alcoholic beverage.

And no it's not flattering, I have no wish to be mistaken for a teenager or young adult, I'm a middle aged woman, I'm fine about looking my age (which I do) and I'd prefer to be treated with some respect really.

NiceCuppaTeaAndASitDown · 08/12/2016 07:50

I'm 28. Asda once refused to sell a bottle of wine to the woman in the queue in front of me as we'd had a brief chat while we waited about the top I was buying, and that obviously meant we were 'together'.

Quite rightly, she flipped her lid and demanded management step in.

AntiqueSinger · 08/12/2016 07:51

And it's definately not a compliment if I have my 14 year old with me, and you are still insisiting I could be under 25. I mean when supposedly did I become pregnant? 10? 11?

RoseGoldHippie · 08/12/2016 07:53

When I was a child I used to help unload the shopping onto the conveyer belt, I wouldn't have been checking if they were age restricted goods, it was all just 'the weekly shop'.

Also Doman what do you mean it isn't proving you are over 18 it's proving you are over 21? Is it a 21+ bar or are you in America?

Alwaysfrank · 08/12/2016 08:04

Noeffingidea- I'm not sure we do have an ever worsening problem of underage drinking but that claim had been made upthread- my "apparently" was meant to inject a note of cynicism! Children drinking a little (martini and lemonade, advocaat and lemonade - yuk!) at family parties and special occasions was normal in my upbringing but perhaps that's why I never felt the need to go mad when I started going out with friends.

If I was refused alcohol because one of my teenagers were with me in the supermarket I would be outraged and horrified having never been refused ever in my life before.

RoseGoldHippie · 08/12/2016 08:09

Alwaysfrank it was watermelon Bacardi breeders for us kids!

Totally agree with you on that statement though! I was always allowed a small tipple at Christmas or partied with my parents and i turkey believe this is the reason I am never went stupid with alcohol as I got older. Pretty much t-total now except the odd big night out. Totally opposite to the children I knew who were not allowed a drop of booze and pretty much turned into alchoholics the day they turned 18!

RoseGoldHippie · 08/12/2016 08:10

*parties not partied Grin

Alwaysfrank · 08/12/2016 08:29

Rosegold- watermelon Bacardi breezers sound much nicer! Pretty sure the most exotic we ever got in the 70s was Babycham!

zukiecat · 08/12/2016 11:21

RosegoldHippie

I wasn't allowed any alcohol at all as a kid, I'm now nearly 50 and have barely touched a drop and am pretty much teetotal now

I might have one Kopparberg over the festive season but that's it

RoseGoldHippie · 08/12/2016 11:38

zukiecat obviously it isn't going to be a one rule fits all situation, I just feel I was taught moderation by being allowed a bit of Buck's Fizz on xmas day or one alchopop on New Year's Eve. It wasn't when I was 9 I'm talking more 14/15

Basicbrown · 09/12/2016 08:34

I'm 28. Asda once refused to sell a bottle of wine to the woman in the queue in front of me as we'd had a brief chat while we waited about the top I was buying, and that obviously meant we were 'together'.

That really made me laugh. So oldies make sure you don't smile at anyone under 40 when you're waiting in the queue at the checkout Grin

PrincessIsAUnicorn · 09/12/2016 08:51

My ds is 16, but (clearly to a bank clerk) looks old enough to hold a full driving license Xmas Confused I also work behind a bar, it is called challenge 21, if I wasn't to do it and got caught, the least I'd get is a fine and loose my job, neither of which I can afford Xmas Hmm X