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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To get really frustrated by the Think 25 rule

439 replies

Cloeycat · 05/12/2016 10:53

Not so much having to be ID'd but the fact that if I am with my partner and don't have my wallet (I'm over 25 and also obviously pregnant) that he is not able to purchase alcohol for himself unless I hide or pretend not to be with him.

I don't always carry my ID with me, especially if we are just popping to our local supermarket for something for dinner and he is paying but it is so frustrating that I then have to wait outside the door in the cold like a naughty 16yr old so that he can buy himself a beer or bottle of wine.

Does this rule apply to parents buying alcohol if they are accompanied by children who are under 18? Or is it just when it is two adults trying to legally buy alcohol that a problem arises?

OP posts:
Musicinthe00ssucks · 06/12/2016 12:18

I got ID'd in Aldi last week. I'm 37 so I saw it as a win TBH.

TheInternetIsForPorn · 06/12/2016 12:41

I think it's difficult for staff in shops. But saying that I can't buy a bottle of wine because I have my 5 year old with me is not a common sense of the proxy sales rule. Saying my I can't buy it because I have my teenage daughter with me who was carrying it to the till but I'm paying and then has no ID is a different position.

skinoncustard · 06/12/2016 13:13

Slightly different ,
Last Christmas my DH went to a large jewellers after the gym to buy me a watch I had admired on a previous trip. Large shopping centre with gym attached, no actual doors on shops , ( you know what I mean) on entering he was stopped and asked to leave ! When he asked why, they said they weren't happy with the bag he was carrying (normal sports bag containing trainers , dirty tshirt, shorts , pants , towel and toiletries ) he offered to open it but was told they would call security if he did not leave immediately !!! The shop was busy and he was made to feel like a criminal .
Needless to say we will never darken their shop again .

Thundercake · 06/12/2016 13:29

I feel like people keep missing the OP's point. Yes, ID anyone who looks under 75 if you want but if they have ID you shouldn't refuse to serve them because they have a toddler with them, chatted to a neighbour in the queue or are buying paint supplies with their significant other.

BravoPanda · 06/12/2016 14:01

Just take your ID. If the staff member served someone underage they could not only lose their job but be fined a hefty amount. Why is it an issue to just keep a drivers licence in your purse?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 06/12/2016 14:06

To all those moaning that cashiers ID anyone with the purchaser; we have to. It's also part of the Trading Standards thing. Because after all, it's not like people don't buy for underagers is it

I have no issue with personally being asked for proof of age I also have no issue with anybody with me being asked if there is a legitimate reasonable belief that it may be a proxy sale.

But could someone explain to me where the reasonable belief it may be a proxy sale if I happen to be at the supermarket with a none verbal 2yo in the trolly or as happened once to me my 23yo daughter was with me and did produce proof of age but then the shop assistant asked if I could produce evidence that the baby my grandmother was holding was old enough.
And no she was not joking.
There was also nothing at all I said or did that could lead anÅ·body reasonable or not to assume I may give the baby a fag

TheDayIBroke · 06/12/2016 15:10

In our store, if you are with your young child/teen at those self service tills and you have scanned an age restricted item and then hand your card/cash to them so they can pay/enter the PIN, we must stop the sale as it will be deemed as the youngster paying. Only the adult is allowed to pay.

Oh, the comments we get sometimes Sad.

myfavouritecolourispurple · 06/12/2016 15:24

In our store, if you are with your young child/teen at those self service tills and you have scanned an age restricted item and then hand your card/cash to them so they can pay/enter the PIN, we must stop the sale as it will be deemed as the youngster paying. Only the adult is allowed to pay

What do you do if the adult is visually impaired and relies on their child to enter their PIN for them?

myfavouritecolourispurple · 06/12/2016 15:25

Surely the point is that it's ridiculous that shop workers should be held accountable for who consumes the alcohol after it leaves the shop?
If the person purchasing has appropriate ID then that should be the end of it. I don't understand why shop workers aren't complaining about this as well

The big retailers must have lobbying power. I don't know why they are not complaining about this either.

Basicbrown · 06/12/2016 15:46

Who on earth would tell a child their PIN....? (totally misses point)

TheDayIBroke · 06/12/2016 16:50

purple of course I would allow the child to enter the PIN, but I could get a bollocking for it. Common sense, compassion and love for your fellow man should be left at the entrance before the shift Sad.

Basicbrown many many people give their children their PINs - some even tell them their number so the whole shop can hear!

user1471597558 · 06/12/2016 17:33

Just a side note on people being ID'ed with someone. If they are a group of early twenties/teens, they all need ID, especially when the lady on security has alerted the cashier to the fact that a group of teenagers has walked in and sent the eldest to get alcohol. If it is an obvious parent-child combination, e.g. 40 and 16, they don't need ID.

awesomeness · 06/12/2016 17:39

the local spar tried to stop me from buying a can of monster because i was with my 13 year old....yet same shop and same cashier the day before had let me buy a bottle of wine with said 13 year old......

MoneyPit2016 · 06/12/2016 17:43

I know this is going to be unpopular, but here goes.
You're being unreasonable. Challenge 25 is in place to protect those under 18 getting hold of alcohol, or knives and doing themselves or others harm.
If you're an adult that's responsible enough to be a parent, you're responsible enough to carry ID.

I'm a retail manager. It's not a fun policy to teach or enforce, but it's there for a bloody good reason.

stripes1 · 06/12/2016 17:49

I was id'd in Tescos buying wine. I was 39 and looked it, when I finished laughing uncontrollably I looked up and realised she was serious. Made me feel better about turning 40!

LovingLola · 06/12/2016 17:57

In Boston last summer I was with my 18 year old ds. We went to a supermarket. He carried a bottle of wine to the checkout while I had the basket. Person on the checkout refused to sell me the wine. I had to walk with it back to the shelf, put it on the shelf, pick it up again, bring it back to the same checkout person and then I was allowed to buy it. Am still bemused.

Janey50 · 06/12/2016 18:05

I must say I have never heard of this! Being refused alcohol because someone under 18 (or appears to be) is with you?! How utterly ridiculous! So a mum aged say,28,can't go in a supermarket with her 2 year old and 4 year old and buy some wine or beer with the weeks shopping? It's the nanny state gone mad. Regarding the Think 25 rule,my daughter was asked for proof of age 2 years ago,when she was 31! It was in Iceland and she laughed at first,thinking the woman as joking. She asked the woman how old she thought she looked and she said '17'.Hmm My DD said 'I've got an 8 year old daughter!' And a couple of weeks later,my DD had been mistaken for her DH's daughter! By her GP of all people. He was mightily embarrassed. DD thought it was hilarious. (There's a 13 year age gap between her and her DH but still.....)

pollymere · 06/12/2016 18:10

I've heard of people being stopped when the shop suspects it's going to be drunk by teens. Waitrose do a trifle that's so alcoholic it triggers a Think 25. Not once have I been asked if I plan to give any to my ten yo dd who is usually with me. She hates trifle but I always think this just sums up the system. I tend to avoid shops now that give me hassle.

Postchildrenpregranny · 06/12/2016 18:10

Took DD2 (26 and works in v responsible job in NHS) to theatre recently and went to get us both a drink .Barman (who looked about 12)asked her for ID. I was so surprised I blurted out ' but she's 26 and I'm her mother so I should know 'I'm still not sure he believed me but he did sell me two cocktails !.Apparently she gets it a lot. tbf an airstewardess did describe her as a teenager last week .But she wasnt wearing any make up and had just survived a 20 hour flight
why is it 25 when the legal drinking age is 18 ?

AntiqueSinger · 06/12/2016 18:29

If you're an adult that's responsible enough to be a parent, you're responsible enough to carry ID.

Its nothing to do with responsibility. The law does not require me to have an ID card in order to purchase alcohol. I do not drive. Plenty of people do not or cannot do so, so do not have drivers licenses. Neither am I happy to walk around with my passport on a casual basis in central London (or anywhere unless strictly necessary ie., going to the airport). Our freedoms of privacy are pretty much vanishing. I do not want to carry an ID card unless the GOVERNMENT decides (preferably via a referendum) that it is mandatory for everybody to do so. Then, in the utmost reluctance, I will. I am 40. Not 30, not 25 and definately no where under it. I do expect shop staff to use their common sense, and discretion. I assume these are qualities they must possess, hence why they were recruited in the first place, unless stores don't screen for these attributes anymore.

It's got nothing to do with sympathy for staff. I have every sympathy, and think its rediculous to pass the buck to them, but if someone is just demanding ID because they've switched off, and can't be bothered to look at me properly, I will challenge them the way they are challenging me. Politely, but firmly.

I too work a shitty shop stewarding at events in all weathers, for hours on my feet for minimum wage, but I don't treat mature people like liars, or children. I use my common sense. In fact, it's precisely because I work with the public that this basic inability to apply common sense annoys me so greatly! Especially if I am dropping on my feet tired, and just stopping to pick up a couple of items and maybe one cider for the evening and someone decides to choose that time to be overly zealous about ID, despite me clearly looking no where near 25, let alone under it. And even when they've realised they've made a mistake refusing to u-turn, making my shop stressful entirely unnecessarily.

Patchouli666 · 06/12/2016 18:42

My hubby looks young for his 44 years. However, when he was about 35 he got asked for ID in sainsburys when buying 24 bottles of champagne for his team! With a credit card.

badonkydonk · 06/12/2016 18:42

I had my 30th birthday last week and am still getting asked for ID. I think it is a massive compliment, especially the "you really don't look that old". My only gripe will be the day when I forget my driving license and have to fight my corner.

My best Id-ing to date will be when I was in my mid twenties, drove my car into the petrol station and got questioned as I wasn't old enough to put fuel into a car....

Full disclosure, I am very short and I do look a bit baby faced.

DeleteOrDecay · 06/12/2016 18:44

why is it 25 when the legal drinking age is 18 ?

It's to protect the shop workers. Sometimes under 18's can look older, but not quite as old as 25 so this protects them from unintentionally selling an underage person alcohol and risking their job, a fine etc.

DeleteOrDecay · 06/12/2016 18:49

Badonk I once got id'd for petrol when I was 18, had just come out from work and used this station a few times before. It's the first and only time I'd ever got id'd. I showed my ID no problem, but I did wonder what they could do if in the unlikely event I was 'under age' since the fuel was already in my car.Hmm

Notmuchtosay1 · 06/12/2016 18:54

I must look old as I've never been asked for ID (I am early 40's) I'd have been stuck if I'd been asked for ID in my younger days, I still have a paper driving licence and don't have a passport. I used to look young. When I was 23 I was refused a lottery ticket 😂 I never tried to buy alcohol though. I've never bought it. I can imagine it's annoying being asked.

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