To think that maybe my mum should be a bit more caring

[PJsAndWine]

Currently living situation is far from ideal but it's a roof over my head.
Had to move back in with my mum & family in September. All was ok until mid November when my grandparents came back. Since then I've been on an air bed in the lounge with my stuff scattered all over the house as no where really to put it.

Today I come home to find my mums rearranged the lounge so my air bed doesn't fit and all my stuff is in the porch way as she's fed up of it all over the place.

The worst bit is my brothers who never pay their rent on time, one is a drug addict and never help around the house practically get their arses licked.
I just feel so pushed out, and like I'm not welcome here

I can't afford to rent anywhere on my own

From your mum's point of view, she has a house full of adults who can't pay their way and her house is a constant mess with blow up beds and stuff everywhere. How much more caring do you need her to be?

Share houses. Even with a pet. Not only are they cheap - they're FUN. I made some of my best friends in share houses. I still live in share houses, after most of 20 years!

YelloDraw you have no idea why she has the pet. She could have that dog because of innumerable reasons - sometimes life complicates thing for you. I've got a pet bird because my grandmother passed away and no one else could take him. Turns out this type lives for 30 years - not the 2 or 3 I thought! So I have to check in with new flatmates whenever changing accommodation.
That said - I've always had pets living in share houses - so there really is hope PJs You might even find some people want to help walk him etc!

And you have a dog? You need to grow up and start taking some responsibility for yourself. Stop blaming your mum. Stop moaning about value for money when you are camping on someone's living room floor with your pet.

Your mum sounds like a saint ! When did you last buy her a little bunch of flowers and offer to cook dinner for her?

Trifle "From your mum's point of view, she has a house full of adults who can't pay their way and her house is a constant mess with blow up beds and stuff everywhere"

I thought it was the grandparents house...which leads me to wonder if one solution might be OP and mum renting together?

Lorelei76: True, but that only emerged in the drip feed And we don't know what rent the mum pays/whether she works full time. I assume she is the ones responsible for the house. As the grandparents are away for 3-4 months at a time, it seems to me that it is effectively the mum's home.

South Bucks? You can get a flat share in Wycombe for a lot less than £600, and nowhere in Wycombe is unsafe - yes, there are bits you might not want to live in, but that's a different point.

There's always places available along the West Wycombe road, for starters - and also in Terriers and along by the Rye. Get a Bucks Free from last week, and look in the small ads, so you can rent directly and not through an agent: that'll save you a couple of hundred right away.

What are your earnings, OP? Are you saving money from this arrangement?

I can't imagine what areas around there you are deeming 'unsafe'

You sound like you're looking for excuses. If you're working full time you should be able to afford a room in a shared house. Perhaps not in your Preferred area but very few places are genuinely unsafe.

Where's the dog living now?

Your mum sounds at the end of her tether and I'm not surprised.

She does indeed sound at the end of her tether. A PP asked if you were pulling your weight and you said you've done everything that's been asked of you...

But why is your mother HAVING to ask? You should be proactively doing housework, cooking and shopping for everyone (as should all other inhabitants btw) off of your own back. She shouldn't have to ask you to do things.

A quick look on gumtree show 52 flatshares in your area, average price £300. None as expensive as £600. Some as cheap as £125.

Is there some other reason you want to stay at home and your mum be more caring? 23 is still pretty young, you could be forgiven for needing a little looking after if you're having s hard time mentally or emotionally ? Everyone has points when they need their mum.

This reads like a list of excuses. I couldn't cope with someone living in my front room, it would really upset me with the clutter etc.

I suggest you remove the dog and get a flat share. Eat pot noodles and toast if that's what it takes!

I also suspect maybe you are electing to stay there as if you really wanted you could move out. Maybe your mum sees you as more able than your brothers to do so. Sleeping on the floor with your stuff spread out cannot be pleasant. For anyone.

Maybe the time has come to start to look properly at flat shares now.