Field sports and family life

[FromAtoB]

DH said to me yesterday that he is thinking of quitting shooting and hanging up his gun. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I'm not sure if DH is really serious about giving up.

We are neither of us massively into the sporting life. It was fine when we didn't have kids, and we have had some great weekends. But then when the DC were little it was always that thing of waiting for Daddy to come in, or standing at the peg being cold or trying to keep the DC entertained. Now our DC are older, they have their own sports to do at the weekends, and we need family time/taxiing them around time.

Plus, there's the unspoken but utterly permeating sexism of field sports in general.

But, but, but... DH's family have been big field sports folk for generations and we have lots of friends who socialise like this in a big way. We have two DSs who may want to do this and I sort of feel if we drop out now we will lose that cultural attachment.

AIBU to thing field sports and family life just aren't that compatible?

Ooops spelling mistake above ^^ sorry.
not sorry

Funny. I've lived in the country all my life and have never held a gun, or chased a fox on a horse. And I'm very far from alone.

Yep, it is funny how that works isnt it sukey? To me, point and shoot in the countryside means photographing natures beauty, not killing it for a laugh.

Not even in my wildest dream (or should that be nightmare) can I imagine killing animals for 'sport' It's obscene - we're no longer neanderthals - well some of us aren't.

Who gives a fuck if maiming, killing and ripping animals apart and family life is compatible or not. I have nothing but utter contempt for those who participate.

Thanks for the link Wookiecookies

Rorty you are most welcome.

also high fives Rorty for a breathtakingly beautiful response to OP's AIBU

Thanks, Cora. How old are your DC?

It was all easier when we were at home more when the DC were little.

There is a real difference between fox hunting and bird shooting. Not least because the products of the latter actually get eaten, and have far more pleasant lives, and deaths than the majority of meat eaten by all sorts of otherwise sanctimonious folk.

And then there was this.

m.leicestermercury.co.uk/belvoir-hunt-police-launch-investigation-after-three-foxes-killed-by-hounds/story-29958984-detail/story.html#Gh1KesidFo2HWsl3.01

I must say wits the birds life and subsequent death sounds just dreamy here.

www.animalaid.org.uk/h/n/CAMPAIGNS/pheasant/ALL/445/

And of course, the birds are shot with a clean and instant kill straight away right? Never with less than perfect shooting? Misses dont happen which painfully injure the bird without killing them do they?

Most of the people I know who have OHs who shoot would cheer if they suggested giving up! I would say that if he's suggested it then it's probably a great idea to drop it for a few seasons. Don't sell the kit, then he can always start again when he's ready, or just do one or two days when he gets the opportunity. You won't lose all your friends instantly! And you will make new ones getting more involved in the children's sports together. Totally get what you're saying about the sexism, I don't enjoy that either.

What? (Gasps) there is sexism in an old fashioned, adrenaline fuelled, bloodthirsty sport that is based on killing defenceless animals for fun? Christ, well, that is a surprise, why did I not see that coming?

This thread continues to astonish me.

Op, I think it's like you say in that at least it is seasonal. We don't have DC but my nephews are now teenagers and beat with dh every weekend. Niece also does when she's not doing other activities. So the entire family are heavily involved now that they are older. At least SIL and I can now have a peaceful day as its now dh who takes all the kids

witsender
There is a real difference between fox hunting and bird shooting. Not least because the products of the latter actually get eaten, and have far more pleasant lives, and deaths than the majority of meat eaten by all sorts of otherwise sanctimonious folk.

Yes, of course, in one the fox is ripped to shreds while still alive, barely able to breath from the chase and in the other the birds generally get eaten IF they are killed cleanly. And what about all the birds that are maimed?

I eat meat but never from supermarkets. My local organic/free range butchers unfortunately closed so I now buy online from reputable butchers. As I'm retired and on a limited income I only eat meat a couple of times a week which to me is a small price to pay for knowing where it comes from and how the animals are treated.

Sorry, like Cora said re seasonal.

OP: whether field sports or any other hobby, you and your OH need some time for your own interests.
Maybe discuss with your OH a fair divison of time that adults and DC can have, then see what fits into that ?

wrt field sports:
I eat meat, poultry & fish, so I respect people who eat what they raise and shoot.
(I've a visual handicap, so I'd better not try shooting anything !)
If I had moral objections to that, I'd go vegan.

Animals & birds left to run free with plenty of food, then shot. Preferable to being industrially raised and then industrially slaughtered in an abattoir.

I think lots of people have no objection in principle to shooting animals for food. I had a rabbit the other day which a local guy shoots in the dunes and sells to pubs and restaurants. It's the "sport" aspect I have a bit of an issue with.

But isn't it essentially men doing things for them and the women/dc spending their weekends trailing after them

Yes. It's dreary and dull and the same people every weekend.

Do you have your own shoot? If you do, keep 2 days back for yourselves; one family and one friends, and then accept a certain number of invitations per year, say 4.

Half a dozen weekends spent trailing after one person's hobby is more than enough. It's a good way of getting the children in the fresh air and for them to meet a wider range of people, and learn about where food comes from etc etc, but shouldn't take over your lives that way.

Sukey so you wouldn't have issue with one lone gun trudging about with his spaniel to catch a few suppers, but if he takes his friends and a hip flask then it's cruel?

I don't get it.

Have you ever been to a BBQ?

You're being deliberately disingenuous.

I'm not. Im genuinely curious as to the thought process. Really!

What you have described is nothing like the kind of social jamboree the OP and the other blood sports enthusiasts have described have described and you know it.

And no, I don't go to BBQs.

If you come back at me with another similarly ridiculous question I won't answer.

Im childfree and appalled that people would give up a sport they are passionate about just because they have kids. Field sports are an amazing way of life for children surely? I have not observed sexism in field sports. Odd.

Im childfree and appalled that people would give up a sport they are passionate about just because they have kids. Well, self-sacrifice is part of parenthood. Lots of people have to give up their sport/motorbike/shopping habits/6pm works drinks.

Field sports are an amazing way of life for children surely? Sort of, but in this case it is getting in the way of the stuff they actually want to do - i.e. doing stuff with their friends/being in sports teams.

I have not observed sexism in field sports Then either you don't do them, or you don't recognise sexism.

Ok I don't participate in any field sports at all but have horses and live rurally so am surrounded by them. What I will say is in my quite extensive experience (our next door neighbour is a 900 acre farm that rears pheasants for the local shoot) is that the pheasants are reared outdoors in enormous cages then released a few days before shoots, there are always loads of the birds around before and after the shoots. We know when they are on as we can hear them from our house and stables. I'd certainly say they have a pleasant life before they are released and many of them do survive so please don't think they are always cage reared with hose horrible masks on I've never heard of or seen this.