Field sports and family life

[FromAtoB]

DH said to me yesterday that he is thinking of quitting shooting and hanging up his gun. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I'm not sure if DH is really serious about giving up.

We are neither of us massively into the sporting life. It was fine when we didn't have kids, and we have had some great weekends. But then when the DC were little it was always that thing of waiting for Daddy to come in, or standing at the peg being cold or trying to keep the DC entertained. Now our DC are older, they have their own sports to do at the weekends, and we need family time/taxiing them around time.

Plus, there's the unspoken but utterly permeating sexism of field sports in general.

But, but, but... DH's family have been big field sports folk for generations and we have lots of friends who socialise like this in a big way. We have two DSs who may want to do this and I sort of feel if we drop out now we will lose that cultural attachment.

AIBU to thing field sports and family life just aren't that compatible?

Well if they have their own commitments every single weekend then there's your answer , put them first if you're happy to do so.

In our family there are 5 of us and no one gets to 'bagsie' every single Saturday (or Sunday) for themselves.
It was the same for me growing up, occasionally we all have to accept that perhaps this week we might not be at the front of the queue because we've been to cricket the last 6 weeks straight and this time it's our turn to have to miss out because the world doesn't revolve around any one person.

I'm not too emotionally scarred from having to miss a match or a party every now and then.

No ones interests should dominate weekends and if your DH can't dial it back a little without having to give up completely then maybe he should.
Sounds to me as if he's not that bothered anyway.

Wookiecookies

All our birds are reared until a week old in conditions that far, far exceed that of any supermarket chicken. They are then released into our beautiful woodland which is fenced in at the sides to keep them safe from predators. There is no top on the pen so as soon as they can fly they are free to go wherever they want (and about 60% do). About 30-40% are shot cleanly and humanely during the season and are kept by the shooters and shoot staff to eat with any extras being bought by our local butchers.

If you want cruelty free, healthy lean meat then there is nothing better.

Perhaps you should educate yourself before offering your unwanted and ill informed opinions. I sincerely hope you're a vegan too, other wise it makes you a fucking massive hypocrite too.

Your nice little film by the way is propaganda made by the league against cruel sports - a rabidly anti meat, anti shooting, anti farming , anti keeping pets bunch of loonies so of course it is going to show a negative picture. There are bad apples in every bunch and the shooting industry is no different but this is not representative of all of us.
Also, your film was widely condemned as a load of shite and many of the 'issues' within it were quite comprehensively disproven at the time of release so YABU to trot it out again knowing that it contains so many inaccuracies (lies).

I believe one of LACS recent films showing so called 'cruelty'' at a recent hunt actually contained footage of a chap who died 15 years ago.... so not that recent then after all?

I'll think about you on Friday when I'm shooting pheasants ....

Oh no I won't , I'll be too busy enjoying myself.

Oh how jolly hilarious Manin. How you must have chortled into your sherry when you posted that. What a fine specimen you are, you are really showing this here "pathetic little wanker" up huh?

Im done here anyway, kill away, have at it, hope it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. Not bumping this sick little thread or your ego manin any longer.

LOL at all the animal bores on this thread. Do you also give exactly the same responses to anyone who casually mentions they eat meat?

My suggestion to the OP is: Why not take a step back for a few years and see how you both feel when the kids get older? It doesn't have to be forever.

When they get a bit older they have their own team sports commitments, every weekend outside school holidays and sometimes during holidays. The idea of adults having 'me time' just seems a bit immature if it costs that

So once you have kids you can't have any time to do anything you want to do?

I think you've fallen into the trap of thinking that having kids means you give up your own life to cater for them.

That's not a good idea. Kids have to learn the whole orange doesn't belong to them and all that.

As for kids' team sports taking up every weekend, maybe they will grow into a sport that doesn't. My son does athletics, he has training twice a week and has to do a minimum of four meets a year. He does more, but it's not every week like football was (which I thought was over the top for primary school aged kids - much better to have matches every other week and spend more time on training in my view).

Thanks for all the replies.

I am posting for advice about managing family life. I am aware that field sports is controversial but it is also something done by hundreds of thousands of people and lots of MN families will be involved. Hence, why I am posting. Where I live and amongst lots of my friends it is just a way of life.

I'm pretty sure I haven't 'fallen into the trap' of thinking my kids have the whole orange. I'm just a parent of DC who want to play in team sports at the weekend.

My general sense is that the men that push on through this (sorry, it really is nearly all men where I am) are expecting their DW to pick up the slack at the weekends.

I'd be really interested to hear from parents of school aged children how they make modern family weekends work or if they've found that it just can't.

Thats Ok Op, thank you for posting this thread actually, it reminded me to make an important donation to the charity "league against cruel sports", which I have now done. Merry christmas.

I know I said I was done with this thread, and I am, but I just thought the OP would appreciate knowing she inspired me to increase my planned donation. Chin chin, tally ho and all that dahlings.

Here is the link to the site, for anyone else who feels inspired by this thread to do the same.

www.league.org.uk

"Field sports". Yep, a cuntrified way of life.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3999702/Helpless-fox-torn-shreds-left-intestines-hanging-body-pack-vicious-hounds-brutally-savages-death-illegal-hunt.html

There is no such thing as 'high welfare' meat but if there was it would be via field sports and not any kind of animal agriculture.

Jeez it's another world....

/

It really is sukey and a disturbing one.

Like I said, this is really about looking for advice from people who have experience of managing these commitments.

I'm not interested in the 'dahling' comments or the cruelty comments as neither reflect the reality.

I am keen to hear from other women whose partners are in syndicates or who are quite committed to the season for whatever reason.

My dh is in a syndicate and is away shooting pretty much every-other weekend during the season. We always eat what he shoots - no different to picking up a chicken to roast in the supermarket imo (and probably quite a lot better given the welfare standards widely practised).

My dh is always a bit worried that he is overstepping the mark with all the days he does and always asks me if its ok if he does these dates. Frankly I thank my lucky stars that I am a shooting widow and not a golf widow (no bloody season there at all - all through the year and the whole day) and he works like stink all the hours that God sends during the week so - why not?! He needs the down time and camaraderie that this hobby affords him. My children are still at the stage where the loss of a parent at the weekend doesn't really have an impact but I guess that will happen more when they get older. I am willing to take up this slack because I think he really enjoys it, life is short and why the bloody hell not?

For your dh, if he really isn't enjoying it anymore, I think you could stop (cheaper!!) and then start your children on it later on if they feel like it. You will have the know-how and the contacts to be able to guide them, after all. Or how about he just cuts right back to just those favourite/important shoots?

There is no such thing as 'high welfare' meat but if there was it would be via field sports and not any kind of animal agriculture. Oh Fuck Off

Has anyone been called a 'townie' yet for not understanding the country way of life.
That fox hunt was right next to me in penshurst, utter bastards, been doing it for years despite claiming on my local horse forum that it's all drag.

Still, lots of factory farmed pheasants that are released at the moment for them to take a shot at.

Anyway be who objects doesn't know the reality though folks.

OP, you are not interested in the comments? Yet you posted what you understood to be a "controversial subject".

Why post the question on mumsnet and not a specific shooting forum then? You will get comments here from all types, including those of us who oppose this ghastly "sport" in the strongest possible terms.

Suck it up buttercup dahling

Oh and high five to derxa and doughnuts

What would we know? How dare we none cuntry types have an opinion.