BIL and SIL have just announced no gift exchange this year.

[ChristmasEvePJs]

AIBU in thinking if you do not wish to exchange gifts (like we have always done) then you should bring it earlier in the year and not with three weeks to go until Christmas?

I genuinely do not mind they lack of gifts for our DC's, they get more than they need from us alone. However I do object to being told they do not want the gifts I have already purchased and wrapped for them both (pj's each from the white company, a candle, sweets they specifically like and a bottle of champagne) as they are not doing gifts this year and will not be accepting any either as they are saving to move house. If we do insist on giving them the gifts they intend to give them to the charity shop!

AIBU to feel put out? I haven't said a word and wouldn't but the DC's helped choose the gifts and we certainly don't give to receive, would it really hurt them to just swallow their pride and accept a gift from their niece and nephews?

YANBU.

My friend decided to do no gifts last Christmas, only she didn't tell her family in advance, just turned up empty handed.

I thought that was rather mean-spirited of her.

I have a relative prone to last minute announcements that they are not doing gifts, usually around Christmas Eve. One year they memorably changed their mind again and announced Christmas Eve that they were looking forward to giving, receiving...keeps us on our toes! In your situation I just kept all the gifts, wrapped and ready. Made it very easy next year.

I haven't really bought anything yet but I know some people do shop early so I would have made the announcement sooner. That isn't as bad to me though as their response about the charity shop. Given you have already bought the gifts, that is just silly.

Ps forgot to ask, is the candle smelling nice now it is lit? Any recommendation?

I buy throughout the year. Not for financial reasons, but because sometimes I see things that may not be available at Christmas. Also, we have a lot of people we buy for, so spreading the shopping through the year takes the pressure off nearer to Christmas. And I hate shopping at the best of times, can't imagine anything worse than trekking around when the shops are rammed even more than usual.

They prob feel really guilty for not being able to get neices and nephews something this year so have banned receiving gifts too? Reaching for straws lol

Baylisiana it is lovely but no where near Jo Malone Pomegranate Noir (but half the price!). The orange grove one is really nice too.

No issue with gift stopping but being told this late is a bit ridiculous.
Hang on to some of it for birthdays?

Give the gifts later in the year as birthday presents.

However tell them they should have told you earlier in the year as it's too late for you. You've bought and wrapped already.

It is a bit late to say, people probably should say by October or November.

Maybe they realised that you weren't getting that they never buy for you adults, yet they keep getting very generous gifts from you. Did I mention they are very generous gifts? Take the Pj's back and the rest can be used elsewhere. You could even give them the sweets or champagne and say that you waned to get them a little token gift bease they get for your kids.

artandcoco, you really don't get that quite a few people don't have £100 all at once but can find £10 a month? What a sheltered life you must live.

specialsubject
if you are having to spread the cost or work round payday, I'm afraid you are spending too much

what a ridiculous comment. If you are spending exactly the same amount for Christmas and the rest of the year, you are either 1) spoiling your kids by buying them things all year round 2) really tight if can't see a little difference in your bank account.

I prefer to spend my Christmas bonus to book our summer holiday early January, and I am not the only one. Maybe you have a trust fund and unlimited budget ,most of us don't.

I think you should tell them that you will stand by their wishes but ask that next time you are told sooner as you had already spent money on their presents which had taken a lot of time and thought to pick out.

ALlow - no what I don't get is if they can find £10 a month why do they have to spend it that month? Can't they save that £10 every month then just have £100 at the end. It's the same difference

Artandco - because people tend to buy things when they see something they like? Why does it make sense to wait until December, when that item might be gone, and you also have to trawl round the shops for lots of people.

I also have a very busy Nov/Dec, so try and get a lot of it out the way before then.