To expect water at a child's birthday party?

[Mehfruittea]

Just that really. We've been to 15 parties in the last 3 months and have always had to ask or take our own. Even when I ask for water, I get a cup. The party organiser, soft play centre etc don't think to bring out a jug for other kids.

DS is 5 and will only drink water or milk. Surely this is not unusual - to not drink juice or squash?

DS always says he wants water when the hosts come round with jugs of squash. He rarely gets it.

Recent parties:
Soft play centre -water only available from the cafe which was around 20 metres from the party room. DS would not go by himself. The cafe counter was high up and they could not see DS or me in my wheelchair. I had to shout, but still was not heard over the general sound of children screaming and having fun. Only when another parent came along and stood behind me did anyone come to serve us. This was to top up the water bottle I had taken with me. DS missed singing happy birthday and was really upset about it.

Another soft play party - I could not get in to the party room as the door was to narrow and party table to close to doorway for me to get in. Another parent offered to help on this occasion and keep an eye on him for me.

Party in hired room - party table at one end, canteen style drinks hatch at the other. DS is really shy and wouldn't just get up and get his own. He comes over to me.

To PP who doesn't understand why being in a wheelchair makes it tough to move around- try holding a cup of water in one hand while using the other to move a wheelchair. Once you've got it moving, navigate the objects between you and DC; crawling baby, kids shoes, handbag dragged around by toddler, car seat in the middle of the floor, shit where's the baby gone? heap of coats, squashed sandwich and balloons. Now do it without spilling the cup of water, running over anyone's toes, or killing the baby IN THE FUCKING DARK!

Yanu to expect water for the kids.

I'd require wine for me by the time I got to 15 parties in 3 mths though

You would have the same issue if your child didn't like the pizza or whatever they served though. They can't please everyone. I can see how it would be more of a ballache with high counters and presumably about a 2 inch gap between tables to get there though. I think in your situation I'd ask another parent if they'd mind getting your dc a cup of water. Surely no-one would refuse?

Bumsex, you're right. I doubt anyone would refuse. I've only been using a wheelchair for last 4 months and still getting to grips with etiquette. I'm very independent and always try to do the same as before, just with wheels. I'm still learning how to ask for help and feel okay about it. There are days when I feel like all I do is ask someone else to do x,y,z for me and I cry at how helpless I feel. Some really simple tasks are so fucking hard when you are in a wheelchair and I dont want to stop doing all the things I used to. I'm still adjusting and in the mean time, I'd just like my kid to be offered water at a party!

Mehfruittea I can't believe the stick you have got here over wanting water readily available. Only on mumsnet!

Of course YANBU to expect water to be readily available when serving food. All the others are options, water is the minimum.

If it was any other choice I'd say YABU, but not water. Free and on tap (uk at least) it should not be a palaver and it is bad hosting if it is not supplied.

You are totally entitled to your annoyance, and I'm sure you'll remember the water bottle in future. I don't think it will change because soft play party Mum's aren't generally good at hosting - that's likely why they have chosen the venue.

Can I gently suggest that you do start asking for help. I personally would not jump to offer help in this situation in case it was taken with offence, iyswim. However if you asked me I would happily go grab a glass of water while you watched your dc and mine.

Why go to the additional cost and marginally extra prep time to serve a drink that is less healthy? Squash isn't served in schools is it? My DS can only get water at school and I don't know of any others in our area that even allow squash to be brought in.

Er, because it's a PARTY? They could serve water instead of squash or bread and butter instead of cake which would be healthier but a lot less jolly. Most children enjoy party food.

This is such a performance parenting thread. the child isn't being denied water - it's just that the host isn't supplying a jug of it having correctly guessed that most children would prefer squash at a party.

This is such a performance parenting thread.

What does this mean?

Another one whose kid won't drink anything other than water and believe me, I have tried.
I think it stems from the time/s he was just learning to talk and when he saw me drinking wine would say 'what that Mummy?' And I would say 'Mummy juice, not for babies.' And now even 3.5 years later he refuses 'juice because it is for Mummies.' 🙄🙄🙄 I always take my own water to parties and then make sure his cup is filled when he sits down to eat.
It's not a stealth boast or some radical hippy alternative to want to drink water, is it?

Actually on some food thread on MN I was accused of being odd because my DS eats a fairly wide/international range of food and I was told that this was ridiculous and expecting children to like things like curries was beyond unreasonable- till I pointed out that over a billion children in Asia eat them on a regular basis without it being a 'thing'. So clearly I am not the mum of a fussy eater- he just likes drinking water and I don't think it's that odd to expect that there might be some water available at a party.

Take a couple of cups and a bottle of water. Job done.

having correctly guessed that most children would prefer squash at a party.

Correctly guessed a preference? How do they know that - do they take exit surveys?

Odd comment.

They never ever provide water for reasons I never know . I usually take 2 bottles and refill for the many thirst kids . ''Tis odd

stopfuckingshoutingatme yes at the parties I'm chaperoning there are many Mum's making trips to the kitchen to grab glasses of water.

It's a rather strange thing to get riled about even for aibu !!!!

I think it is understandable as we learn more about OP and the fact she is still getting used to her new situation using a wheelchair for the past four months.

Ah I did not see that . In which case everything is going to be a fucking struggle as you acclimatize op

But yeah the water thing is fairly annoying and common

This really isn't uncommon. It was my dd fifth birthday party his weekend. The drinks choices were

• orange squash
• black currant squash
• water

The water jug was refilled at least twice, as was the black currant but the orange squash was barely touched.

P.s. it's not like we're are an organicy, posh area. There were onion rings, cheese puffs etc.

I can understand you want your independence but you sometimes need to ask for help

And if you can't ask as an adult then how do you expect your child to?

I'm hoping any adult would gladly get you some water if you asked them

Solution is to make sure you carry a 2l bottle of water with you and just top up glass or smaller water bottle for dc

Solution is to make sure you carry a 2l bottle of water with you and just top up glass or smaller water bottle for dc

This is an odd solution, 2l weights 2kg. Don't carry an unnecessary extra 2kg with you everywhere you go.

To me seems the obvious solution if going to a party /out somewhere where may not be easy for op to obtain water - obv not a friends house etc

Play centres are often crowded and tight spaces so hard Enough for an able bodied person to get to cafe /kitchen etc - hence take large water if that's all op dc will drink

Surely just ask for a jug of water? Most kids will drink the sugary shit that is offered hence why squash and fizzy is more accessible. All of the parties I have hosted, there has only been one or two kids that only want water.

My DD is 17 and from what I can remember generally children had to ask for water.