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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect water at a child's birthday party?

95 replies

Mehfruittea · 04/12/2016 16:54

Just that really. We've been to 15 parties in the last 3 months and have always had to ask or take our own. Even when I ask for water, I get a cup. The party organiser, soft play centre etc don't think to bring out a jug for other kids.

DS is 5 and will only drink water or milk. Surely this is not unusual - to not drink juice or squash?

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 05/12/2016 07:54

Trust you soup 😛😛

Many play centres have drinking tap in toilets

Obv not taking water out of the toilet ......

Tho rem years ago a dad said to me that their toddler was playing tea parties and kept getting offered cups of tea - which he drank

I enquiried where water was from as I did pretend water/ drinks teapot when I played

Daddy then asked for a cuppa and we both watched while she trotted down the living room to downstairs loo and scooped cup into loo 😂😂😂

Notso · 05/12/2016 09:19

I think it's just because it's a party situation. When my older two (now 16 and 12) were going to infant school parties nobody served water, it was fizzy drinks, fruit shoots or squash. They still had a choice of milk and fruit or squash and biscuit for snack time school.
I only serve water at parties for my younger two (5 and 4) because it's seems to be the done thing. Parties are one of the treat occasions when I let mine have fizzy drinks. When I think of children's party food I don't think of water anymore than I'd think of cauliflower.

SoupDragon · 05/12/2016 09:24

Trust you soup

Confused eh?

Of course I thought you meant lap it out of the toilet like a dog Hmm

No way would I let my child get drinking water from a public toilet area (and I am by no means a germaphobe)

SoupDragon · 05/12/2016 09:27

When my older two (now 16 and 12) were going to infant school parties nobody served water

Oddly, my oldest are 17 & 15 and I always had water and saw it as an option at parties. Water and fruit shoots seemed to be the choices on the whole! DS2 still drinks mostly water.

OpalTree · 05/12/2016 10:50

I think even people who are very into healthy eating for their children usually make an exception for a kids' birthday party.

FannyWincham · 05/12/2016 10:54

I think even people who are very into healthy eating for their children usually make an exception for a kids' birthday party.

I'm very relaxed about sweets, cake, chocolate etc at parties but DD just won't drink squash or fizzy drinks. She's been allowed to try them plenty of times but she just doesn't like them, and only drinks water or milk.

Counting down until someone accuses me of a stealth boast...

GravyAndShite · 05/12/2016 11:40

I think even people who are very into healthy eating for their children usually make an exception for a kids' birthday party.

My DC can eat and drink what ever she wants! Loves chocolate loves milk hates sweets hate squash. Hmm

You know the glass things in the walls of your house...? They are windows and they let you to look on the outside world and realise that your experience is not the only experience. They are fantastic.

YelloDraw · 05/12/2016 11:43

Blondeshavemorefun amazing anecdote!!!

HaveNoSocks · 05/12/2016 11:49

I think it's a bit silly but I'm usually happy to bring a flask of water for my DS. Mainly because I'm embarrassed asking for water and saying that he won't drink squash I think people will assume I'm massively snobby. I have no problem with him drinking squash at parties but for some reason he just won't touch the stuff.

bumsexatthebingo · 05/12/2016 12:10

Of course some kids don't like juice but at a party there will be a small selection of food and drink that most kids like. I'm not sure why it's surprising that everyone's dislikes aren't automatically catered for. One of my dc has allergies which means they often can't have a lot of what is offered. Generally if I speak to staff they will bring an alternative. Whatever they serve there will be 1 or 2 kids who don't like/can't have some of it. I don't see why having to ask for an alternative drink which you are then provided with is a massive deal.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 05/12/2016 12:39

I agree with Bumsex (the poster, I mean Blush)
Allergies aside, we should really encourage our children to eat or drink what is provided rather than requesting alternatives where possible. Asking politely for a glass of water is fine but I've had children turning their nose up at party food and wanting me to make them different food. So water is fine to ask for, as long as they don't think they can demand alternatives for everything!

The final straw was when one 7 year old guest refused an ice cream because he didn't like pink ice cream and he wanted a bowl of fresh strawberries Shock.
I gave him a dry cone.

Notso · 05/12/2016 12:39

Of course some kids don't like juice but at a party there will be a small selection of food and drink that most kids like. I'm not sure why it's surprising that everyone's dislikes aren't automatically catered for.

Exactly. Its not as if people are saying no to requests for water. As an adult I drink a lot of water but I have never been offered a glass of water except in hospital. It's always tea, coffee or at a party something alcoholic.

Notso · 05/12/2016 12:46

Interesting Soup I remember a distinct lack of it. I weaned myself from only drinking coke to water and tea when I was pg with DC1 and always had to ask for it or carry it with me when I took her to parties.

SheepyFun · 05/12/2016 12:49

Thanks for the heads up, DD is going to a soft play party this weekend, so I'll make sure I take water for her. She's regularly offered squash, but always takes water - very picky eater, who also dislikes sweets, along with almost all fruit and vegetables!

cauliwobbles · 05/12/2016 12:53

FGS just ask for a jug of water. Happy kid, happy parent, end ongoing conversation about it in head!

Floggingmolly · 05/12/2016 13:30

Thanks for the heads up?? That you may have to ask for a drink of water if the butler doesn't appear with a jug on a silver tray?

I wonder how some people manage to get through the day, sometimes...

Original poster
Mehfruittea · 05/12/2016 18:39

floggingmolly really? Is there any need for that? When the butler arrives with 2 jugs of squash every time, orange and blackcurrant. Why cant he squeeze water on the silver tray? Or just have orange and water? Why the choice of 2 flavours of squash (are there fussy squash drinkers?) and not water? Does he just need a bigger tray?

FFS

OP posts:
Notso · 05/12/2016 19:36

Why do you feel so strongly that your child's preference should be the default option?

Original poster
Mehfruittea · 05/12/2016 20:39

Notso it's free, easy to prepare and the healthiest option.

Why go to the additional cost and marginally extra prep time to serve a drink that is less healthy? Squash isn't served in schools is it? My DS can only get water at school and I don't know of any others in our area that even allow squash to be brought in.

And it's the additional hassle I have to go through as a wheelchair user that makes this a piss-boiling task. That's all. It was a rant.

2 more parties this Sunday - I will ensure the bottled water is packed before anything else.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 05/12/2016 21:04

But it's a party, not school lunchtime. And it's not your party...
Just ask for water. Why does being a wheelchair user prohibit you from doing that?

MrGrumpy01 · 05/12/2016 21:17

I have always defaulted and taken water with me to parties, as they got older (and gone alone) I just prompted them to make sure they asked for water (easier at a house party)

Most parties serve fruit shoots or the plastic cups of squash so water is never the default. None of mine drink squash, yet I always offer it at my parties. (alongside water and if at home milk as well) I think I am the minority though.

You do need to just take your own, if it is served it is a bonus but I never expect it.

Notso · 05/12/2016 21:20

If you were talking about school or at an afterschool activity etc I'd totally agree. Your post was about parties in particular though.
Seeing as squash seems to be most likely to be served it probably means there aren't loads of people asking for jugs of water. Which is probably why they don't bring a jug of water if one person asks for it.
I know lots of children who drink mostly water but very few who drink only water. Often on here parents who say there child only drinks squash will be told the child will drink water if they are thirsty enough, perhaps it works the other way too and thirsty children drink whatever's on offer.
I also wonder if value for money for the customer comes into it. At the soft play parties we have hosted 'unlimited squash' is part of the party package. As you'd usually pay for squash it seems like a good saving, unlimited water doesn't have the same appeal.
I can understand it's a pain for you can you train your DC to ask for water?

GravyAndShite · 05/12/2016 21:52

But it's a party, not school lunchtime. And it's not your party...
Just ask for water. Why does being a wheelchair user prohibit you from doing that?

Wow.

OpalTree · 05/12/2016 22:13

Fanny and Gravy. My post at 10.50 where I said that it was fine for people to serve unhealthy food at a party was referencing a poster commenting earlier on the food at a party she'd been to being unhealthy. Gravy, you seemed to take it a bit too personally and got a bit hot under the collar. Confused

bumsexatthebingo · 06/12/2016 13:51

Not sure why the kid can't ask tbh. They are 5. If there was no water at a party and that's all my child would drink I'd expect them to ask for a glass of water (hopefully with a please!) when the host was going around with the squash. Playcentres are generally very hot and when they've all been running around I can't imagine they'd want to go without a drink. I don't think you can compare schools (which tend to have healthy eating policies) to party food which is supposed to be a treat rather than a healthy meal.

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