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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be extremely anmoyed

36 replies

mommy2ash · 03/12/2016 08:57

I work fully time and my parents are kind enough to help me with after school care for my daughter. I have a sister who very rarely takes my dd. This week my sister's two kids were sick with d&v. She asked for my dd to go down to try perk up her kids who were pretty miserable. I picked my dd up and rang my mom and asked she doesn't go back there while the kids were sick as my dd is having a joint birthday party with her best friend today.

So of course the next day she gets sent down there again and you guessed it she is up all night throwing up.

So now I still have to pay for my half of the party 150 euros and my dd can't attend.

I am so cross I could scream. If my parents couldn't mind her for any reason I would have come straight home and why this week of all weeks would my sister ask go have her.

If course they are all making excuses now for how she ended up sick none of them including the very obvious one that she picked up a bug by hanging out with two sick toddlers for the last two days.

OP posts:
formerbabe · 03/12/2016 09:02

This week my sister's two kids were sick with d&v. She asked for my dd to go down to try perk up her kids who were pretty miserable

This is bizarre Confused. Who does that?!

ChipIn · 03/12/2016 09:05

It's odd that your sister asked for your DD. I'd be pissed off too

KittensWithChristmasHatsOn · 03/12/2016 09:07

I'd be v pissed off. Yanbu

What have your parents and sister said?

MrsMozart · 03/12/2016 09:07

YANBU

Original poster
mommy2ash · 03/12/2016 09:09

I thought it very odd as well so after the first time I asked them not to do it again. Surely it's normal to keep vomiting children away from other children where possible.

I feel so sorry for my dd missing her party now. When she goes to school on Monday everyone will be asking where she was.

OP posts:
girlelephant · 03/12/2016 09:09

YANBU! D&V is highly contagious it makes no sense DM would put herself or your daughter at risk.

Poor girl, is she very disappointed about the party?

Original poster
mommy2ash · 03/12/2016 09:10

Kitten they are making excuses for how this couldn't possibly be the same illness my nieces had and now are saying my nieces weren't actually sick to begin with.

They were I saw them myself and they had been vomiting for three days.

OP posts:
Original poster
mommy2ash · 03/12/2016 09:14

Girlelephant she is still sleeping but she will be heartbroken when she gets up. It's gonna be a great party there were 50 kids invited. It was to be my dd and her best friends last big party. It's been planned for ages. If it was just a cancelled party that would be bad enough but the party obviously will go ahead without my dd and she will have to hear all about it in school.

OP posts:
PetalMettle · 03/12/2016 09:17

Yanbu - in a childcare setting kids with d and v have to be kept away for 48 hours after the last episode. I would be v annoyed

longdiling · 03/12/2016 09:20

Oh God your poor girl :( I would be livid. Can you sort out alternative childcare? It shows a shocking lack of common sense or thought for your child. Parents would be handing in their notice - rightly so - if I did something so stupid and thoughtless as a childminder.

Original poster
mommy2ash · 03/12/2016 09:24

I don't unfortunately have any other childcare options. I'm a single parent on a low wage and we don't get any assistance with childcare costs here in Ireland.

OP posts:
longdiling · 03/12/2016 09:26

That's a shame mommy. Perhaps try and recoup some of that lost money by giving something really cheap and rubbish to your mum and sister for Christmas ;)

MyKidsHaveTakenMySanity · 03/12/2016 09:35

That's a good point. Don't get them Christmas presents and say the cash had to go on the party that your daughter couldn't go to but you had to pay for.

I would be fucking furious if I were you. Who the hell puts a child at risk of getting sick just so their own sick kids won't be bored for a while?!?!

littlesallyracket · 03/12/2016 09:39

YANBU!

Regardless of the party, I would never voluntarily send any child to visit other kids who were known to have a horrible tummy bug, whether there was a party on the horizon or not! I really feel for your poor DD and your mum and sister have been incredibly selfish.

Guitargirl · 03/12/2016 09:40

It's just common sense to stay away from anyone who has D&V- what on earth were they thinking?

It's difficult as your parents are your childcare but they were really irresponsible on this occasion.

Years ago just before DD's first birthday we were visiting my parents. It was Christmas time, my cousin had scarlet fever. The whole family normally come to my parents at Christmas. My Mum said she couldn't not have my cousin over even though she had scarlet fever. It was the week before DD's party, we were in the middle of moving house and I had just returned to work after maternity leave. I soooo did not want to catch anything at that point. Cousin came, Mum caught scarlet fever and ended up missing DD's1st birthday. None of the rest of us got it though!

NurseRosie · 03/12/2016 09:46

I think it shows a lack of respect too. You had specifically asked them not to let her go there and she was sent anyway? Hmm?
I would be furious. €150 is a lot of money to waste.
Your poor poorly girl too. Hope she feels better soon.

willconcern · 03/12/2016 10:03

That"s an awful thing to do. I think they should pay you the 150 Euros.

Allthewaves · 03/12/2016 10:09

Omg how stupid are your family

ChuckGravestones · 03/12/2016 10:14

She asked for my dd to go down to try perk up her kids who were pretty miserable.

Is your daughter a paid up kids entertainer?

Gazelda · 03/12/2016 10:19

I'd be absolutely livid! Your sis is an idiot for suggesting it, your DP are fools for going along with it. And they all know full well that DD caught the bug from her cousins, they are too guilty to admit it.
Your poor DD, this will be a huge disappointment in her little life. I wish I could think of a way to make it up to her.

Original poster
mommy2ash · 03/12/2016 10:21

She is still asleep poor thing. I'm not looking forward to breaking the bad news to her

OP posts:
EweAreHere · 03/12/2016 10:24

Your sister and your mother are selfish, horrible people. Who does that?!?

I would leave them in no doubt what I thought of their actions. Does your mother usually favor your sister and her children over yours? Because I can think of no other reasonable explanation for her putting your daughter in this position ... ever ... let alone right before her birthday party!

EweAreHere · 03/12/2016 10:25

I would insist they pay you back for the missed party, so you could take your daughter out for another big treat after she's feeling better. And, no, they can't come, too.

Original poster
mommy2ash · 03/12/2016 10:30

They wouldn't have the money to give me. I will just have to try minimise the disappointment when she gets up.

OP posts:
SpaceDinosaur · 03/12/2016 10:31

I would ask them to pay the €150 that you have lost.

Do not let them lie to you that the toddlers weren't sick or that they didn't infect your poor poor daughter. Every time they throw shit at you cite that all schools and nurseries have a 48hr rule because D&V is so contagious and their deliberate ignoring of common sense, your request and basic hygiene has ruined your poor baby's birthday party.

Is there any "alternative" party you can host with the €150 from your mum and sister?

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