That hubby won't even discuss more children.

[MadJeffBarn]

We have two wonderful children. After I had my second, and a case of postnatal depression, we both agreed he was our last. One of each, nuclear 2.4 family, why would we want more?
Anyway, recently I've been feeling a bit broody (can probably thank my niece coming along for that) and I asked my hubby now I'm alot better, would we maybe consider in the future? I was met with a resolute, resounding no. Now, I understand his reasoning, that ive had postnatal depression with both of them, but I feel that a huge decision has been taken away from me without even a proper conversation. I would never get pregnant 'by accident' or take it upon myself to give him a 'more kids or divorce' ultimatum but my heart hurts knowing that I won't be having more. Aibu to feel this way?

That's us, PaulDacre. Subersives! I kind of want to give us a hastag but I think I'm too old for that .

#DownWithThisSortOfThing

I think he's being unreasonable on not hearing you out. When you both decided you would stop at two you had PND, you don't now. As they say 'it's a material change in circumstances😁' He might still feel two is all HE wants, but he owes it to you to have that discussion.

Yanbu , your dh sounds selfish.

#CarefulNow

OP, have you had much of a discussion about your PND after it happened? Have you talked about what happened from his perspective and how it affected him?

I'm wondering if perhaps he doesn't want to discuss it because it's going to touch too much on painful memories of that time and bring up things which are difficult to talk about.

Having had PND twice myself and also having other people with that and post-partum psychosis in the family I know that it can often be the most horrendous ordeal for partners too and that's often something they don't discuss with the mother afterwards because they don't want them to feel blamed or guilty. It might be a very difficult discussion for you and him to have and he might not want to have it because he's afraid the truth might hurt you.

Also, you should bear in mind your existing children now. This has been the primary decision for me deciding no more. At least one of your children must be very much old enough to know what is going on now and remember things. How do you think they would cope if you had PND again? Be prepared if you have the conversation your husband might have some things to say on that subject that could be difficult to hear. I know my DH thinks that it would not be fair to put an older child in that situation as it was frightening and traumatic for him so to tough a situation for a child to go through.

It might be that it's something else. But it is worth considering that the reason he is avoiding the conversation is not necessarily out of unkindness. If he knows he's not going to change his mind he might think it's not worth raking up such unhappy memories.

Great post Bill