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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's tight as fuck

68 replies

Largemelons · 02/12/2016 21:05

To ask my dd to buy her own Christmas present as she gets an employee discount.
Saving max £4
They are not poor just very tight.
Dd their only grandchild.
Not elderly or infirm

OP posts:
TaraCarter · 03/12/2016 01:10

I think the issue is not them being frugal, but that they want to be frugal without schlepping around themselves. Generally, that's the pay-off for saving money, yeah? You pay a lower price, but you incur some inconvenience to do so.

In this case, they're getting the recipient to do it. So she buys it in her time (lunch break, after work, whatever, they buy it off her and wrap it. It does take the Christmas spirit out of it.

Plus, it just doesn't sit well with me to not let her profit from her staff discount.

YouHadMeAtCake · 03/12/2016 01:35

Fucking tight and YANBU. We have similar experience with our DC grandparents on both sides. Winds me up a treat!

RubbishMantra · 03/12/2016 01:52

GPs bring sandwiches to the cinema? Actually I don't know why I was Shock. On the rare occasion we ate out, my mother would grumble through pudding, "I have home-made gooseberry tart in the freezer at home", etc. (After eating everybody's leftovers because she "couldn't bear it to go to waste!") Then later on, vommy purging noises coming from her en suite.

Thankfully I don't have DCs, so they don't have to put up with this type of nonsense.

As it's such a small amount they'll save from your DD's perks working for (probably?) minimum wage, could they not just give her the 40 quid, and let her benefit from her job?

Bogeyface · 03/12/2016 02:55

Plus, it just doesn't sit well with me to not let her profit from her staff discount.

Exactly! Give her the £40 they would have spent and let her get £4 worth for nothing. That way it costs them no more than it would otherwise have cost them and she gets a bit extra. But no, they want to save four fucking quid. That is tight. I totally disagree with anyone who doesnt see the problem.

ThisThingCalledLife · 03/12/2016 05:58

Your dd is a young adult - not a young child. So what, the element of 'surprise' won't be there - but surely she's mature enough to make that decision for herself, and be thankful for whatever she receives?

Neither you - nor anyone else - has the 'right' to tell the gp's what to give and how to give it Xmas Hmm
It's between them and their dgc.

It's a win-win if your dd decides to do it, they get the discount, she gets points on her card without spending a penny, she knows she's going to enjoy the gift AND..... she gets to open a present on xmas day instead of an envelope with a voucher Xmas Grin
cue music We Wish You A Merry Christmas

Seems to me the spirit of Scrooge is trying to manipulate your judgement and keep the spirit of Christmas away from your door,OP Xmas Sad

LemonSqueezy0 · 03/12/2016 06:30

If you hadn't mentioned it was makeup I would have perhaps erred more on your side, but still only just. However someone spending £30/£40 on makeup "as a suprise" would waste £30/£40. She's a working age adult, and she's asked for makeup, so is likely to know what she specifically wants as opposed to GPS who would be guessing... Agree she should benefit from the discount though.

CheerfulYank · 03/12/2016 06:39

I think it's weird to open up a present you bought on Christmas Day and pretend it's a surprise. YANBU.

blueskyinmarch · 03/12/2016 06:52

I buy all my own presents from DH for Christmas. I don't act surprised when I open them. I act pleased I have things I really wanted.

What might be weirder is that I don't buy anything at all for my DDs who are 18 and 24. They agree an amount between them and buy gifts and stocking fillers for each other. They don't buy anything for me and DH either.

Given our strange Christmas rituals I think that what OP has outlined seems fine to me.

bimbobaggins · 03/12/2016 06:52

I don't see anything wrong with wanting to use your dd staff discount but eating half my sweets at the cinema, that would be a definite nc from me.

FrancisCrawford · 03/12/2016 07:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

turbohamster · 03/12/2016 08:47

If grandparents are spending 30+ on presents for each of the 5 grandchildren I'm not sure they can be described as tight irrespective of discount use or not.

turbohamster · 03/12/2016 08:48

If grandparents are spending 30+ on presents for each of the 5 grandchildren I'm not sure they can be described as tight irrespective of discount use or not.

Witchend · 03/12/2016 08:54

Maybe they'd only have spent £36 if she didn't gave the discount so she'd have got less.

HairyScaryMonster · 03/12/2016 09:52

I suspect it's more about not knowing what to buy her, being intimidated by the range than the saving.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 03/12/2016 09:56

My in laws would do this if it saved them 25p, never mind £4. TAF

Original poster
Largemelons · 03/12/2016 13:38

They don't have 5 grandchildren!
She's from a pp and is the only one on their side.

OP posts:
LemonSqueezy0 · 03/12/2016 14:08

Maybe on principle your daughter should tell the grandparents politely but firmly that she is going to decline the offer of a Christmas gift as she doesn't want to use her staff discount to get it. Hmm that'll teach them and she can save her staff discount...

Katy07 · 03/12/2016 14:15

I can't see the problem. I'm all for saving money where you can - it adds up. She's still getting the same present and with the same emotions attached, it's just saved them a few quid. I'd be happy they'd done that.

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