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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Riding bike in dark no helmet, hood up and earphones in

52 replies

mostlymindblown · 02/12/2016 19:07

DH has just gone out to meet his mates on bike dressed as per above.

On my insistence he does have crappy front and back lights (back light attached to back of said hood Hmm) so I guess at least he won't get fined by the police who are having a local crackdown.

AIBU to have berated him as he was leaving for not considering potential impact on

2yr old DS
Himself
Me

Should he have an accident because of this?

I might add he doesn't get paid if he can't work so even a minor accident could have serious financial impact on us (I also work but we need both wages)

OP posts:
Original poster
mostlymindblown · 02/12/2016 21:53

Haha Trout, he would HATE that!

I could use it as a threat unless he gets one of his own choosing.

Christ, its like thinking of how to persuade a toddler to put their shoes on before going outside on a rainy day, not persuading a grown man to wear something that might save his life.

He rarely knows where his headphones are so it won't be hard to 'disappear' those for a bit Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
mostlymindblown · 02/12/2016 22:01

On a serious note, would insurance policies pay out - assuming loss of earnings rather than anything more tragic - if the claimant's actions were deemed to have been a factor I.e. No lights, listening to music etc?

Or thinking about it, could you even be deemed liable for causing an accident and be sued / prosecuted?!

OP posts:
Barnes79 · 02/12/2016 22:07

I've worked in neuro rehab and the number of times it's people who haven't been wearing helmets or have had a small fall and bumped their heads it is scary!

I've cycled to and from work (8 miles each way) on busy roads and the one time I fell off I was slowing to stop and pull onto the pavement (to check my bike) and the wheels caught a curb less than 1cm high. I landed on my back and smashed my head on the floor - luckily wearing a helmet! I must have been doing about 1 mile an hour.

It doesn't even take speed or a third party for it to be serious. Perhaps google a few horror stories and leave them laying around?

viques · 02/12/2016 22:08

You can buy a good quality high viz vest for less than a fiver. Does he think your children's future happiness, financial security and wellbeing are not worth a fiver?

I would also get some reflective tape and get the children to help you to "decorate daddies bike"

Turbinaria · 02/12/2016 22:11

Highway Code for cyclists if he's not got lights and visible clothing while cycling in the dark I'd say he was breaking the law. If he was to be injured or killed as a result of said foolishness then I doubt the insurance company would pay up

MommaGee · 02/12/2016 22:16

I'd give him the Samaritan's phone number and a donor card!

MatildaTheCat · 02/12/2016 22:16

He insists he's a good cyclist? Confused

Hide a vital piece of kit and simply refuse to negotiate until he makes himself properly and clearly visible. Not only would your lives be wrecked by an accident but also the life of the poor driver who hits him.

Donor card a good idea but I would also lock the bike and hide the keys until he grows the fuck up.

BlackeyedSusan · 02/12/2016 22:25

a cyclist wearing a fluoresecent yellow jacket (no reflective strips) "disappeared" when going under an unlit flyover in the twilight. thankfully he had lights but it was bizarre to see yellow jacketed cyclist, then nothing but lights, then yellow jacket cyclist as he came back into the light.

if a fluorescent yellow jacket can disappear in the half light then a hoody has no chance.

StrictlyPan · 02/12/2016 22:41

I ride a lot, and a lot now in the dark, as a commuter.

He sounds like he is about 14 yo.

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 02/12/2016 22:50

A close friend killed a cyclist. He was dressed much like your husband. Dark night, poorly lit road. She has never forgiven herself. She was completely exonerated of any responsibility.

BikeRunSki · 03/12/2016 07:43

He's not a good cyclist. He may have superb bike handling skills, he might be world track champ, Tour de France winner and Mountainbike downhill World Cup winner all rolled into one, but not being aware of the traffic, and not making the traffic aware of him, makes him a bad cyclist, a bad dad and a bad partner.

VagueButExcitlng · 03/12/2016 07:51

This video was posted on our local Facebook page this week.

You could make him watch it. Does he drive?

NotYoda · 03/12/2016 08:04

Does he steal mobile phones for a living?

He's being a fool?

NotYoda · 03/12/2016 08:04

He's being a fool! even

NotYoda · 03/12/2016 08:06

Is he into fashion?

Get him something groovy (bit pricey) from Rapha - cool cycling brand for Christmas

Makinglists · 03/12/2016 08:07

Padlock the bike and refuse to give him the key until he wears helmet/removes headphones and uses back/front light as minimum.

NotYoda · 03/12/2016 08:11

For, me the lack of visibility would be the first thing to tackle, not even the helmet

If other people can't see him, they cannot avoid him, and they should They aren't idiots

ValaMalDoran · 03/12/2016 08:39

Utterly irresponsible, terrible example and incredibly dangerous. I nearly hit a cyclist dressed like that the other day. Those shitty bike lights can't even be seen until they are in your face. Cyclist was doing nothing wrong in terms of cycling he was just virtually invisible on our unevenly lit estate.

alreadytaken · 03/12/2016 08:43

he is not a good cyclist, he is a dangerous one. He is also a prime candidate for a Darwin award. Show him this - about 30 seconds in and that's on quite a well lit road because there were oncoming cars. Ask if he'd like to be that car driver avoiding an idiot.

Really thought this was going to be another thread about a 16 year old boy.

fruityb · 03/12/2016 09:12

Headphones?? I drove apart a kid with headphones on that goes to the school I work at. When I saw him in school I told him I didn't fancy seeing him being mopped up one day and to take the bloody things off! A cyclist hit my car door when I opened it after parking on the main road. I checked my mirrors, behind me, popped the door open and looked again and when I opened it - bang. Dressed all in black, no helmet and a pathetic light on his backpack that wasn't visible from 10 feet away.

It's not worth the risk I don't know why people do it!

MrsMozart · 03/12/2016 09:31

When he comes back either don't get mad or have the life insurance policy left out. It's what I did when DH kept going for four hour rides sans helmet - always said would be an hour, so I used to get pretty upset until I realised it was pointless.

Interestingly the day he came back and commented that I wasn't angry, which was when I said I'd checked the policy and we'd (DDs and I) be okay, he started being far more considerate in terms of time and even wore a helmet for a while.

DollyPlastic · 03/12/2016 09:35

I would LTB, just on the basis that he wears a top with a hood, let alone wears it up.

IAmAPaleontologist · 03/12/2016 09:53

Idiotic. My 9 year old cycled home I the dark on Friday as he'd had bikability that day and then an event after school. He was wearing his coat with reflective strips, his helmet and had good and bright lights on his bike. He doesn't even cycle home on the road as there is a cycle path network running between school and our house!

AwaywiththePixies27 · 03/12/2016 09:57

YNBU to have berated him no. I have a retired paramedic friend who says his most vivid memory of attending an accident was literally, scooping someone's brains up off the road who presumably also thought they'd be fine without protection. Sad