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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask the school... WTF

458 replies

bookeatingboy · 01/12/2016 22:55

DS came home yesterday with a payment card for his first residential trip next year. The cards were blue and apparently all the girls got pink cards!

Some of the girls asked for blue cards and were told that blue is for the boys and pink for the girls Confused

OP posts:
toldmywraath · 03/12/2016 20:12

I've seen first hand the damage the pink blue gender assigning does and it's really dangerous. Grin I laughed out loud at this- is it as dangerous as formula 1 racing or as dangerous as eating unidentified mushrooms?

Grin
Misty9 · 03/12/2016 20:50

The pink/blue thing just drip feeds the wider issue that we drum into our children from before they're even born - that it matters what sex they are. That is the real problem; segregating children by sex creates in-group and out-group behaviour and sets up divisions for life. You have until about 2-3yrs old and then you can see it in action in any pre-school or reception class where children quickly learn that they should play with their 'group' (according to sex) even if they have characteristics associated with the out-group.

For example, a more quiet and introverted child, who is a boy, will quickly realise that their group is extrovert and boisterous and children with their characteristics who they'd maybe prefer to play with, are actually in the out-group (girls) and so they can't. This encourages one group to be pitted against the other, and in the case of boys, to actively encourage e stereotype that girls are 'lesser' than boys. The gender pay gap etc follow on from this.

Of course, this form of segregating is used because it's easy to do so - generally being obvious who is male and who is female. But the same rationale was given for race segregation and we're all horrified by that now because of the awful beliefs that it perpetuated. I hope one day we will consider sex segregation to be as damaging.

A very interesting book which explains it better than me is "parenting beyond pink and blue" by christia spears brown. I would highly recommend it, especially if you are sceptical that all this matters. One example from that: girls do worse on a maths test if they have to indicate their sex on the front of the paper. That is how ingrained this stuff is.

ObsidianWinter · 03/12/2016 21:41

Pink used to be for boys (because of watered-down blood) and blue used to be for girls (because lots of flowers are blue). It's only in the last couple of generations our society has started forcing pink on girls and blue on boys.

Personally I think the school were silly to do something so contentious given the social climate surrounding the extreme gendering of children's clothes, toys, etc, and should probably have found a less intrusive way of distinguishing between boys and girls cards if they need to.

yellowpostitnote · 03/12/2016 21:43

told you're amused?

You didn't witness the pain and confusion a small boy went through. And at that point we were too ignorant to know how to deal with all this to help him. The post below this explains it.

Semantics may lead that sentence to be read in an extreme way and perhaps I'd measure my choice of words more carefully if writing a dissertation on it but yes, it's not good and yes causes issues and actually those small insignificant things can be linked to bigger issues that do lead to threatening behaviour. A long and winding link but it doesn't take much hunting around the mn boards, esp feminist and gender topics, bullying and violence against anyone different, to work that out.

yellowpostitnote · 03/12/2016 21:46

Misty's post explains it well.

It doesn't take too much exploration of the subject to find eventual links to misogyny and homophobia. Drip by tiny, pink and blue, drip.

yellowpostitnote · 03/12/2016 21:49

And Google "dangers of gender stereotyping" and yes it's there in many places.

But do your own research as I did mine.

yellowpostitnote · 03/12/2016 21:53

It isn't possible to read about articles exploring the area without the words pink and blue being there.

Fulltimemummy85 · 03/12/2016 22:28

Why does it matter? Who is it offending? There's much more the worry about in life!

Eolian · 03/12/2016 23:05

It's offending lots of people actually. As you may have noticed on this thread. Please tell me what's "much more the worry about in life" than human beings having equal rights.

bellie710 · 03/12/2016 23:22

Good god, really is this a major issue?? With all the things happening in the world you are worried about a pink or blue card?? Maybe the cards make it easier for the school to know how many girl or boys they have, how many rooms are needed so boys don't end up in girls rooms?? My daughter has a residential next year and all I give a shit about is whether she enjoys it, is looked after and is safe, not whether she is classed as pink or blue!!

WouldHave · 03/12/2016 23:52

bellie, have you read the thread? Yes, gender stereotyping is a major issue because of what it leads to. Today's acceptance of pink cards for girls leads to tomorrow's assumption that boys can't wear pink or do ballet, the next day's assumption that girls can't pay football or do car maintenance - right up to and including the assumption that girls shouldn't be given high-powered jobs because it'll frazzle their little brains and their place is in the kitchen anyway, and by the way their duty is to stay thin and pretty for their menfolk and make themselves available for sex whether they want it or not.

Lorelei76 · 04/12/2016 00:02

Obsidian now I'm wondering about the watered down blood....?

Floggingmolly · 04/12/2016 00:17

But pink and blue have always been synonymous for girls and boys and none of that stuff has happened so far, WouldHave.
Why would it start happening now, what is the catalyst?

yellowpostitnote · 04/12/2016 06:49

I'm pretty certain that anyone who hasn't read and digested the thread is capable of typing a quick Google question to find out why it's an issue, as they might about the latest gossip about the Kardashians.

I'm also very glad these people are not in the role of educating the next generation.

Oh, but wait...

BusyBeez99 · 04/12/2016 07:19

I've just read this latest page and am totally fascinated at how much some people read into things. It's actually quite scary that people are bringing up children putting their weird values about how a pink card can affect how you are treated and who you play with.

BertrandRussell · 04/12/2016 07:25

And what the mother should have said is "That lady is right. Never point a gun at anyone, even a toy gun"

But I don't expect a basic rule of firearms safety, adhered to by anyone who deals with real guns to be understood by people who casually use the term "bus nutter".

Fascinating how the people handing out abuse on this tread are not those who would calmly and politely ask a child to stop doing something they didn't like.....

BertrandRussell · 04/12/2016 07:26

Oops, wrong thread.

BertrandRussell · 04/12/2016 07:29

It's difficult when you're defening trendy lefty pinko PC gone mad cheese eating surrender monkey values on more than one thread........

yellowpostitnote · 04/12/2016 07:31

busy

Note my last post.

BusyBeez99 · 04/12/2016 07:32

Yellow

I've read the thread. Stil bemused.

BusyBeez99 · 04/12/2016 07:33

Bertrand

It must be. Why not stop then?

WouldHave · 04/12/2016 07:34

But pink and blue have always been synonymous for girls and boys and none of that stuff has happened so far, WouldHave

Seriously? All of that has happened so far, Floggingmolly, and not that long ago either. Try reading just a little social history. The point is that we are moving away from those gender stereotypes precisely because we challenge concepts like pink for a girl, and we really don't need to revert.

BusyBeez99 · 04/12/2016 07:36

I hope all this doesn't lead to mixed loos in public. Because surely the ladies and men signs are gender stereotyping?

yellowpostitnote · 04/12/2016 07:39

Busy I was ignorant to it once. I honestly would be saying the same as you a few years ago.

I observed and I read and i thought about it, I asked questions and I know differently now.

AtSea1979 · 04/12/2016 07:42

I got the dangerous straight away. Those questioning. Don't you think sexual assault is dangerous?