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Original poster

chickenpox WWYD?

53 replies

Fluffsnuts · 01/12/2016 20:31

We have booked to stay in a cottage this weekend with DHs uni friends, partners and kids. 6 of us plus 2 babies. 1 baby has chickenpox- newly emerged, still contagious.

The parents of poxy baby have suggested they don't go, I have suggested that they go with baby and my DH joins them and myself and DS stay at home so DS doesn't get the pox.

DH thinks we should all just go and DS should get chickenpox. I don't want DS getting chicken pox yet, he's only 11 mo, it could be mild and he get it again in a few years, he could get a really bad case and we have a number of parties and activities in the next couple of weeks which we wouldn't be able to go to if he got them.

(The other adults are fine with any of the options. Weekend is just in the cottage, no seeing other people and spreading it. We can't afford to refund the other couple if they don't go).

WWYD?

OP posts:
MissVictoria · 01/12/2016 20:33

Go and hope baby gets it! the quicker they get it the better I'm an adult and never had it so im at a much higher risk of severe complications if i do get it now i'm older.

RichardBucket · 01/12/2016 20:34

MissVictoria WTF? No, please don't deliberately expose your child to disease.

SprogletsMum · 01/12/2016 20:37

I think the family with chickenpox should miss out rather than you.

dementedpixie · 01/12/2016 20:37

The child with chicken pox is the one who should not go as they should be at home if they are ill.

Having chicken pox under 1 year gives a higher chance of childhood shingles so I wouldn't deliberately expose your lo

MissVictoria · 01/12/2016 20:38

The risks of getting it as a child are much lower than the risks of getting it as an adult. Better as a baby when you can put mittens on and stop it scratching its self raw and getting a ton of scars, than getting it when older and running the risks of shingles which can lead to things like deafness, imo.

MsJudgemental · 01/12/2016 20:39

I had chickenpox when I was 30- I'd much rather have had it as a baby.

chocoshopoholic · 01/12/2016 20:39

Chicken pox is usually mild. But... how would you feel if your DS was one of the unlucky ones with complications and you'd exposed him knowingly?

dementedpixie · 01/12/2016 20:39

I just told you they can get childhood shingles if you get chicken pox under 1 year. Fair enough if you have accidental exposure but I don't agree with deliberate exposure

dementedpixie · 01/12/2016 20:40

And you can only get shingles if you've had chicken pox in the past

ChampagneSupernovaX · 01/12/2016 20:45

The couple with the poxy child should miss out, it's there 'fault' IYKWIM, definitely don't expose your babba to it on purpose

GiddyOnZackHunt · 01/12/2016 20:46

Do you have any evidence to back up your assertion that it's more risky as an adult MissVictoria?

OP is your baby the only attendee who hasn't had it?

LotisBlue · 01/12/2016 20:46

I don't think I would deliberately expose mine to chicken pox, especially not a baby. I couldn't live with myself if they were one of the unlucky ones who got really poorly with it.

I'm not sure the poorly baby should come at all, especially if it's a long journey - the parents won't be able to take them into a service station for a feed or nappy change in case they infect someone.

There could also be awkwardness if any of your other friends are secretly pregnant, as cp is dangerous in pregnancy

Original poster
Fluffsnuts · 01/12/2016 20:47

Giddy yes, everyone else has had it.

OP posts:
Mrsemcgregor · 01/12/2016 20:48

Incubation of chickenpox is about 2 weeks. You really don't want a poxy baby over Christmas. Someone needs to skip it.

(Also for the other more serious health reasons, but mostly xmas 😉)

dementedpixie · 01/12/2016 20:49

The poxy child belongs at home, not in a place where they come in contact with others

Original poster
Fluffsnuts · 01/12/2016 20:49

Lotis definitely no pregnancies. They are aware of the do's and don'ts (they've already said about being house bound etc).

OP posts:
Bearfrills · 01/12/2016 20:52

Please don't deliberately expose your baby to CP. It is considered a 'mild' illness but for many children it's a miserable week or two until they're better and for some it turns into a serious, complicated situation. Why gamble with your child? Accidental exposure in the course of their day to day activities, yes. Deliberate exposure, no.

All three of my DC had it last year, one after the other. DC1 got it first and had a mild case. His spots came out on the Tuesday with a second wave on the Wednesday, he had maybe two dozen in total. They had all scabbed by Friday and the scabs were gone by Sunday. He wasn't even particularly ill, just unhappy with the itching and uncomfortable due to a couple inside his mouth. DC2 came out in them Monday, the day after DC1s were all gone. She obviously caught it from the same place he did. She was ill with it. High temperature, lethargic, emotional and had lots of spots including ones on her bits that stung whenever she went to the loo. the day after her spots appeared, DC3 woke up covered in spots too. He was 1yo. He was ill. Sky high temperature, wouldn't eat, struggled getting him to drink anything and so on. He couldn't sleep and would scream when laid down, turned out that he had spots inside his ear canals that were giving him earache when he lay down (we had to get his ears checking once he'd healed to make sure no damage was done). Some of the spots sort of melted together into giant spots and they got infected. It was nearly two weeks before he was well again and over a year later he still has scars around his ears and hairline from some of the bigger spots. I'm aware anecdotes are not medical evidence however three children who, judging from when they showed symptoms, were all exposed to the same strain of CP all reacted differently to it.

The couple with the poxy baby should stay home, those are the breaks when you have young children.

fruitpastille · 01/12/2016 20:52

I would struggle with the idea of deliberately infecting my child. Like you say it could be serious and I couldn't live with the guilt if I'd exposed then on purpose. If they get it randomly then you just have to deal with it but at least it's it out of your hands! My Ds had a very mild dose. Dd who caught it from him was much much worse but still no complications. I'm considering vaccination for number 3. If you are not bothered about dh's friends then don't go but really it is the poorly baby who shouldn't go.

Bearfrills · 01/12/2016 20:54

I'm pregnant with DC4 and will be looking into vaccinating this one against CP once she is old enough, that's how much I have no wish to see another DC through a bout of CP.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 01/12/2016 20:54

So they would cover the cost of you and ds not going whereas you can't afford to cover their share if you don't go?
I think they're a bit daft to take a poorly baby away but if the logistics work and everyone else is willing to go with that plan then I suppose it makes sense to stay home.

Allthebestnamesareused · 01/12/2016 20:54

Surely the couple with the actually ill child should be the ones to miss out. I agree a baby shouldn't be exposed deliberately for the reasons given above. It would be different if your child were a year or two older but not as an under one!

Have they even offered not come or has it been a "we're going and its up to everyone else what they do" situation?

newmumwithquestions · 01/12/2016 20:55

Chickenpox general is worse as an adult which is why so many people are happy for their little ones to get it.
But 11 mo is so little - there's plenty of time for exposure without doing it now. I'm sitting here with an 11mo covered in spots. She's really really miserable and far too little to understand what's going on. She has spots everywhere. I wouldn't deliberately expose a child this young.
Other couple have the sick child, they should be the ones missing out.

user1472334322 · 01/12/2016 20:58

I wouldn't expose your ds. It's highly contagious ime. Both my dc and a friend's dc got it after being exposed at a soft play (we guess). All four kids came down with it within days of each other. My older dc and my friend's younger dc both had it quite badly. My friend's dc was only 10 months at the time and my younger dc was only 5 months. It's not a nice illness. Please don't expose ds. I agree with pp that the poorly child should not go as they're probably not feeling well anyway and I wouldn't want to drag a sick child away from home.

StarSpotter · 01/12/2016 21:00

I agree with PP who said the incubation period could take you into Christmas. Hell no, you don't want that. Mine weren't too bad with it, but it is very trying to be stuck in until they're no longer infectious. Steer clear one way or another.

Smartleatherbag · 01/12/2016 21:01

Never deliberately expose a kid to chickenpox. I've seen healthy kids in icu / hdu (and, tragically, a handful die) from complications, as a nurse.
Why it's not on our immunisation schedule, I do not know. It's routine vax in the states, amongst many countries.
You can get the vax privately, if you want to.

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