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Original poster

chickenpox WWYD?

53 replies

Fluffsnuts · 01/12/2016 20:31

We have booked to stay in a cottage this weekend with DHs uni friends, partners and kids. 6 of us plus 2 babies. 1 baby has chickenpox- newly emerged, still contagious.

The parents of poxy baby have suggested they don't go, I have suggested that they go with baby and my DH joins them and myself and DS stay at home so DS doesn't get the pox.

DH thinks we should all just go and DS should get chickenpox. I don't want DS getting chicken pox yet, he's only 11 mo, it could be mild and he get it again in a few years, he could get a really bad case and we have a number of parties and activities in the next couple of weeks which we wouldn't be able to go to if he got them.

(The other adults are fine with any of the options. Weekend is just in the cottage, no seeing other people and spreading it. We can't afford to refund the other couple if they don't go).

WWYD?

OP posts:
Ankleswingers · 01/12/2016 21:05

I think that the child with the baby who is unwell should miss out on the weekend, not you.

I definitely wouldn't expose my eleven month old to it; it can vary in how it affects the individual.

When my DS2 was a week old my DS1 caught it. He had it really, really bad. There were spots everywhere and he was very unwell with it.

No, the other couple and child should be the ones to stay away.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 01/12/2016 21:05

If I was them I'd insist on being the family to stay home and I wouldn't dream of expecting the others to compensate me unless they happened to have another family to take our place, then it would be nice, but not expected.

Your husband, like a lot of others, is misguided about how serious it can be. It's mostly a mild childhood illness, but not always. Children die from it and others have long term health problems. Watching a child get // close to death, then spend many years learning to eat, walk, speak etc and never making a full recovery tends to make you want to kick people who deliberately allow children to get it, especially babies.

Ahickiefromkinickie · 01/12/2016 21:07

Pox family should stay home.

Can the rest of the group divide the Pox family's share of the payment between them?

If not, Pox family should pay as they got unlucky.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 01/12/2016 21:09

smartleatherbag

We spent time in NICU, the little girl next to us (13 months) was the daughter of a nurse, she had had the vaccination. She still got CP but the spots (infection I guess) went inwards, rather than outwards, they didn't know she had it until she stopped being able to move her limbs, eat etc...very, very scary. It put me off the vaccination.

hanban89 · 01/12/2016 21:09

I think the other family should really stay home. I wouldn't be deliberately exposing your DS to it.
My DD1 had it very bad. Absolutely covered and had a couple of bad infected ones. And was very ill with it. I had DD2 immunised against it as I didn't want to see her going through it. And I highly recommend the vaccine. They need two doses six weeks apart. Each dose cost me £60. But it saved a week of hell!

Littledrummergirl · 01/12/2016 21:11

When did the baby come out in spots? If they are scabbed over it would be fine as no longer contagious.

Ameliablue · 01/12/2016 21:12

The baby with pox shouldn't go. They aren't going to be able to relax anyway with a sick baby

Mum2jenny · 01/12/2016 21:13

I'd go and if the baby gets it, so be it. I hadn't had chickenpox as a child and I got it at the same time as my dd. I was much more ill than she was, definitely get it as a kid imo.

RichardBucket · 01/12/2016 21:13

Having chickenpox is one of the most frightening memories of my childhood. I had spots everywhere, including inside my mouth. It's the only time in my life I've been so ill I was hallucinating.

As an adult, having shingles is one of the only times I've cried from pain. I sat up all night, rocking back and forth, sobbing.

I'm not sure how any parent can justify deliberately infecting their child with that disease?

Wolfiefan · 01/12/2016 21:15

Don't deliberately expose your child to an illness that has potentially horrid complications.
How far are you travelling? Poxy child can't stop at services. What if they suddenly feel worse?

Eevee77 · 01/12/2016 21:20

Children die from chicken pox. Very rare, but as I recall it happened to a mumsnetter.

I could never forgive myself if I deliberately exposed my child and the worst happened and your LO is still so little. There's not a lot to be done about accidental exposure and it's quite contagious but no I wouldn't encourage it. I think the sick child should stay home tbh.

zzzzz · 01/12/2016 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Farmmummy · 01/12/2016 21:20

I would think child with cp should not go. If your DH goes he could still carry it home to your dc and so you staying away would be pointless also getting it so young your dc may get a very mild dose and therefore can actually get it again (yes possible!) or get shingles (also possible).
Also to previous poster who asked about it being worse as an adult my DH got it at 51 and it was really serious spots everywhere (yes I do mean everywhere!) couldn't swallow even saliva and serious breathing difficulties

anotherdayanothersquabble · 01/12/2016 21:22

I wouldn't travel with a baby who was ill with chicken pox, even if they seemed OK. They should quite simply have said they are unable to go. End of discussion.

Catsize · 01/12/2016 21:42

The child with chicken pox should not go. Can't believe the parents are actually contemplating you miss out because they and their child are somehow more entitled to go.

I had one child who sailed through CP. the other - who got it 12hrs before we were die to fly home from a holiday - was very very ill indeed. We stayed abroad because of the risks to others, and it cost us £1000s. Some was re-couped through insurance but loss of earnings couldn't be.

We were marooned in our flat abroad with a very poorly baby whose body was covered more in spots than normal skin.

My DD (the really ill one) should probably have been in hospital with hindsight. I could not willingly take a child to somewhere and inflict that on them.

Catsize · 01/12/2016 21:44

Know what you mean about 'everywhere' farm - my DD had them in her mouth and inside her labia, bottom etc. It was awful.

Willyoujustbequiet · 01/12/2016 21:54

Wtf do not listen to idiots that support deliberate exposure

Chicken pox can be a very very nasty disease and I've known children die from it.

Vaccinate if you wish but deliberate exposure to such a potentially horrible disease is ignorant and neglectful.

BusyBeez99 · 01/12/2016 22:00

Your child might not catch it. Our DS is coming up 11yo and still hasn't had it despite being exposed. I was 21yo when I caught it

Personally I wouldn't go though if the pox child is there because over Xmas wouldn't be much fun being stuck indoors with your child for the whole festive period

DailyMailSucksAss · 01/12/2016 22:01

Do what you feel is best. Approx 20 deaths a year in the UK due to chicken pox according to Oxford Uni vk.ovg.ox.ac.uk/chickenpox-varicella to put it in perspective kids are more likely to die in a car accident.

BusyBeez99 · 01/12/2016 22:01

(We are currently looking into the vaccination so he doesn't have as an adult. It was VILE when I had it. Came out in spots on Xmas eve. I had a nasty time)

JigglyTuff · 01/12/2016 22:04

Why would you not go because their baby is ill? One of them should stay at home with their ill baby. They should be the quarantined ones, not you

Don't give CP to your baby - even if you were so inclined, he's too young and it's just before Xmas.

JensenAcklesUndercrackers · 01/12/2016 22:10

Please don't risk deliberately exposing your baby to chicken pox. We nearly lost my niece due to complications with chicken pox, it was horrific. Totally selfish of this family to want to still bring their child, it's just not worth the risk.

JennyPocket · 01/12/2016 22:11

Family with CP should definitely stay at home. If nothing else, then during your weekend away they might be spreading it around further, to vulnerable people e.g. elderly, pregnant women etc, if they go into motorway services/a cafe/a restaurant etc. Baby should be kept away until it is no longer contagious.

It can be very very serious. I wouldn't knowingly expose a baby to it. There will be lots of opportunity for the baby to catch it when they are older, plus there is also a vaccine they can have (which I think currently you have to pay for, and it's when they turn 3) so they could actually have that and avoid the illness with all its potential complications altogether.

WhooooAmI24601 · 01/12/2016 22:18

DS1 had chicken pox when he was 12 months old and ended up terribly unwell and spent a good week in hospital after developing complications. He caught it as it went around his nursery, and I would advise any parent of youngsters now to have their DCs immunised. The horror of seeing my tiny baby hooked up to antibiotic drips and all sorts was hideous.

DS2 was immunised against it as soon as he was old enough and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. It really ought to be routine given how common it can be to develop complications from what's considered to be a 'mild' illness.

Badhairday1001 · 01/12/2016 22:25

I wouldn't do it, I would feel awful knowing my child was unwell because I didn't prevent it. My daughter was really unwell with chicken pox and got a nasty chest infection as a complication and ended up in hospital. It also really knocked her immune system for a good few months afterwards, she was really run down and not herself.
I think the poxy family should miss out. It's just one of those things that happen when you have kids.

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