AIBU to be really pissed at husband for this?

[Sunnyeb12]

I am sat here half of me really cross and half of me trying to put things into perspective. I've put out my 3 DCs advent calendars ready for the morning. I've also put out the dogs (lol) and made a special one for DH, filled fabric pockets with sweets/ nice IOU tickets and scratchcards. DH comes home and doesn't say anything, sees the calendar so I say... do you like it then? And he says yes is it for both of us (?!) and I say no just you. (No thank you from him for it mind you) He says he left mine at work and now he feels bad. Two issues I have... obviously I feel he's lying and doesn't actually even have one for me. And two... why is it ALWAYS the Mum/wife that constantly thinks of others and puts in 110% for the sake of others happiness while the DH only think of themselves. Now I'm annoyed cos I'm the only one in the family who has nothing for the morning. But... reading that back is it really petty? X

i didnt think adults had advent calendars, ive never bought my dh one

Do you and DH always have an advent calendar? Or is this the first year you've organised one for him?

Do you normally all have a calendar?

Yes sorry I should add we do always get each other a calendar every year x

He's probably forgotten.

Maybe he doesn't place much importance on advent calendars. OTT having one for your dog, you should have bought one for yourself instead.

I buy myself a calendar every year so I get to have chocolate for breakfast and have bought them for DH in the past but he's always been bemused by us having them at all. See also: Christmas stocking. He gets one every year from me and still doesn't really understand why - I recently found out he never had one as a child so doesn't really get the whole thing.

I think YANBU necessarily if it's a tradition that each year you get each other calendars. But if not, maybe he just doesn't consider it to be quite as important as it obviously is to you? It would be nice though if he showed more interest in contributing to this sort of thing for his children though...

Massive generalisation.

Don't be a martyr.

Has he ever forgotten before? Maybe he's just been really busy. I wouldn't be that annoyed with him.

To put in perspective, my DP absolutely hates Christmas, for personal reasons I won't go into here, so I never get gifts from him. Be thankful your husband wants to celebrate Christmas with you.

Cross post! Sounds like he just forgot. If he knows it's a massive deal for you then I can understand you being upset but at the end of the day it's just a calendar. As long as thought has gone into your actual presents I wouldn't worry too much!

YANBU to be disappointed, but have you ever told your DH that these calendars are a big thing for you (big small thing)?

why is it ALWAYS the Mum/wife that constantly thinks of others YABU here. Absolutely not true in what I witness everyday around me. Some people have just different priorities. My DH doesn't care about cards, at all. I rarely get one from him. On the other hand, he always get out of his way to bring me a fantastic cake and/or bottle of wine when I need it.

I witness men doing lovely things for their wives/ girl friends all the time. They grumble about Valentine, but get out of their way for something special. I could not disagree more about men being selfish. Some people are, but it's not gender related.

Make him get you the gin/beauty product/posh one.

• didn't see your update until I posted. I agree, he forgot. If it's the worst thing he does, is it such a big deal?

Dear god I dread to think what Mother's Day must be like, or Valentine's Day in your house!!

No it's not a huge deal... I must be feeling a bit 'poor me' today. Which isn't attractive. I don't always have an immediate person I can talk to/ ask opinions on to ground me so I'm Snapping out of it now.

I've just been playing around with my profile and updated my name slightly Incase anyone notices lol

The dog??!!!!

I bought one for DS and one for DH (BOGOF) then DH said he wasn't bothered a out it, so I'm having it instead. Better off just looking after yourself really.

Seriously? Aren't there bigger things to worry about? Just buy yourself one too. Also, sorry for saying it but doing nice things for others and expecting it back isn't really in the spirit of the whole thing...is it?

On the plus side if he hadn't got one he must know you want one hence saying he's got one at work to cover his ass.

Some are really thoughtful others are not. Mine is, but then he's shit at DIY so swings and roundabouts.

She means she's put the dogs out in the garden rather than bought them an advent calendar.

surely to fuck?

Some people here seem to have quite low expectations of celectrations, which is fine if it works for them, but its not everyone.

We do calendars for eachother, and I'd be miffed if he forgot. This year things are a bit crazy, so we've both agreed that midnight tomorrow is the deadline, but we have calendars, and the cats have calendars (note to self - buy the cats calendars for tomorrow).

Dear god I dread to think what Mother's Day must be like, or Valentine's Day in your house!!

Probably a lot more attentive and fun than yours given your scepticism. Nothing wrong with making an effort with eachother, and celebrating things.

Well if he usually gets you one then I guess it's annoying.

But not really a big deal.

Are you pissed off that you've sorted all the others & he can't even remember one for you?

Will you be pissed off if he just buys one & doesn't go to the effort that you have?

I think you've done a really nice thing, it doesn't make you a martyre, it makes you thoughtful.
I think other people prioritise things differently, and you notice the thoughtful stuff you do and they don't, but not vice versa.