MIL - AIBU?

[SoberSusan]

1st met now DH's DP when I was much younger so called them Mr & Mrs [ ], expecting them to say call us by our 1st names. They didn't.

8 years and a lot of Mr & Mrs-ing later, DH and I got engaged. MIL announced that now I am family I could have the honour of calling her Elizabeth (obviously not real name). But, everybody else calls her Beth. Everybody from next door neighbours to the postman. I am the only person in the World expected to call her by her full name.

I really only questioned it when one of my friends who she'd met twice (but is an old Etonian - which she likes) called her Mrs [ ], and she responded call me Beth. Which he now does.

AIBU to think this is ridiculous?

You could call her by all sorts of alternate names for Grandma or mother
Me-maw
Meme
Nena
Oma
Mor
Mutter
Nain
Keep going till she asks. Could be a good game.

I get that it's weird but I would just carry on calling her what she wants to be called. No skin off my nose.

But I might ask her to call me Mrs Trifle

Call her nan.

Have you got children? If so call her granny, I think I am in a minority as I like being called granny but I bet she doesn't.

Haha she is taking the piss isn't she.
Call her barnabus.

Or Nigel.

GodLizza!

Mother!!!!

She sounds HORRIBLE!

Why isn't your DP picking this up with her? It would be really easy for him to do so.

My SIL calls me auntie because that's what her kids call me and it pisses me off. I have pointed out to her that she's married to my brother and people mind find it odd as he calls me sis.

How old is she? My mum's in her 80s and in her generation you called your mum 'Mum' and your MIL 'Mother.'

What does your DP make of it all?

I'd ask her in front of everyone when you're all together (maybe at Christmas after a sherry or two) why she prefers you calling her a different name? And if she tries to give you a reason, laugh, say how silly and start calling her Beth.

She might hate you forever of course!

Call her Betty, or just say 'oi' whilst prodding her, but DO NOT EVER call her Elizabeth again!

Its so awkward, id never call mil "mother". So much easier after having kids and can call them granny

Well being a brummie I would be tempted to call her 'bab' she will love that.

Out of curiosity are you sure you want to marry her son? What does he call her and what does he think of it all?

My mum is in her 80s and called her mil the old cow.

what does your dp say?

i wouldnt go round calling my mil mrs whatever

its not the 50's

My mother had to call her in laws Mrs Smith, so when someone called her Mrs Smith she would reply I'm Anne, Mrs Smith is my MIL.

When MIL was in her 90's she took my mum aside and said "there's been a lot of water under the bridge dear, I think it's about time you called me mum."

My mum being a kind soul, said "thanks mum"

Is there any possibility that Elizabeth is her preferred usage, and everybody has just shortened it? I'm thinking of my dh who is called, for example, Michael by his mum and thinks of himself as that, but everyone just shortens him to Mike to the point where that is his everyday name now. But not I think truly his preferred form.

I'm not sure I could marry into this family, OP. This post is going to be the first of MANY to do with weddings, pregnancy, kids, inheritance. It will never end. Let your dp's response to this be indicative.

Have you asked your DH about it?! What's his take on it?

I would call her by the name everyone else does. Just see what happens.

Alternatively, every time you hear anyone call her Beth, say "oh it's Elizabeth, not Beth." and smile and look keen. See if you can get lots of people calling her by her 'sunday name'.

What does your fiancé think of this?

i would call her one of the below and keep repeating with a head tilt.

mur-va
Muffs
Bet
Betty
Lilli-bet
Lil-bit

Or by her full title with some additions

Mrs Elizabeth sober Susan now MIL

Call her Dave. Or Eric. The first 5 years will be the worst.