Really need advice. WWYD?

[marvelousdcomics]

I've posted before about dd(15) and her being bullied. She is being homeschooled after Christmas, but must stay the remainder of the term at school. The issue with the trans kids has calmed down a bit, but another issue has started up.

DD used to hang around with 4 boys, lets call them A, B, C and D. Also, hung around with 2 girls, say E and F. F is a bit unstable, threatens to kill people and has severe outbursts.

Now, dd used to be absolutely best friends with A. Just before summer (after making loads of plans with him), A got a girlfriend, who made up rumours about dd 'she is a slag/slut/whore etc' and other things. Since then, A has completely blanked dd. They've 'fallen out' because he told her to f off when she asked why she couldn't join A,B,C,D,E & F to the park.

F also identifies as some random gender. Fine. DD thinks is fine. In biology dd got asked a question on chromosomes. DD answered. F kicked off. Wrote a FB status listing several ways which dd should kill herself. B, C and E supported her, saying dd should stop being mean to F, should kill herself, and they all mocked her for her past issues (eating disorders, self harm and depression). All were also extremely homophobic.

Now, dd and D have not been friends for ages. She is in all his classes, though. Yesterday, the teacher went out for a minute. D got up, and drew a drawing of dd on the board, labelling it horrible stuff. Everyone laughed. A,B,C and E added to it. Dd was crying and they continued being horrible. Teacher came in and issued dd a detention (for crying???).

Today she was put in a group with all these people apart from F. They were all talking between themselves about dd, knowing full well they were being horrible. DD didn't cry this time, although walked out and asked to come home. School refused, and she got another DT.

She told me all this after school today, showing me messages and statuses etc. I phoned school and they said the kids have reported dd for bullying them, and that 'kids will be kids' and some falling out is normal. Nothing is being done about anything.

As I said earlier, she is being homeschooled after Christmas but school have insisted she stays til term is up.

I don't know what to do. DD has been crying, moody, irritable, upset for ages now. The school aren't doing anything and I don't know their parents.

WWYD?

You don't need to inform the LEA, the school will do that.

Puzzled, I am sure. I have been into school and asked, and have checked the website. There is no bullying policy and the school as a whole is very poor. It was probably not picked up on by Ofsted due to all of the other problems going on there. Ds(13) attends a great school, but is boys only.

Thank you everyone

No school tomorrow then! And you can take great joy in deregistering her. Unless it is a special school they cannot stop you. Send the letter (seen posted above) by email and by recorded delivery to the school.

Perhaps drag duvets down from bedroom tomorrow morning, put on some Christmas DVD's, put up the Christmas tree, make some hot chocolate and enjoy your day while explaining that if she was in a job as an adult she would report those abusing her to the HR dept, could potentially go to a tribunal about it...or alt leave the job finding another one. Because in normal society what those kids are doing to her is NOT acceptable behaviour in any shape and form. Only in schools is that kind of behaviour regularly accepted as 'normal' and 'just being kids'. Don't underplay it, it IS abuse.

Perhaps consider shutting down her Facebook acct, I know she is 15, however the abuse will continue if she is online and available to get at. Consider going no tech? for a while til she is feeling a bit better and they have moved on to another poor target. Obv stay in contact with good friends, but make clear she does not want to hear the gossip from school and what people are saying.

If you have screenshots of some of the despicable things they have said to or about your dd, then I wouldn't wait any longer, I'd go to the police.

I'd also remove her from that school now, rather than make her go till the end of term. They are failing in their duty to protect her.

OneRoom, that's our plan

She isn't very into tech anyway, but uses instagram occasionally. Shes already told me she doesn't want to use her phone for a while, so that's all sorted.

Thank you again

A school is already Requires Improvement with OFSTED and they don't have a bullying policy???!!!

I'm sorry, that's crazy. Absolutely no RI school would risk that. Safeguarding is prime at the moment and the very first thing OFSTED would expect would be that it's all in order. They would not be distracted by behaviour and not pick on that! Speaking as a teacher who has worked in RI and SM schools. They are absolutely shit hot on it and any LEA school will have its safeguarding policies ready for inspection.

Either that are bluffing you or this is some new academy or private school. Although they will have the same safeguarding requirements.

I have been into school and asked, and have checked the website. There is no bullying policy

In that case I'd be ringing Ofsted myself and asking what the hell they intend to do about it

Frankly I'm amazed the school admitted this to you, and even more surprised Ofsted don't seem to have picked it up. Maybe a lot's changed, but safeguarding always used to be the hottest of hot topics

I would remove her from school using the above letter. And add that you are removing her due to her being bullied and the school failing in their duty of care towards your DD

I would then write to the governors and the LEA and OFSTED factually and unemotionally bulletpointing/listing everything that has happened and how the school has failed to resolve it

Will contact Ofsted asap.

Funnily enough, to whichever pp it was, the school is a new academy.

Another person astonished that the school does not have a bullying policy.

I would also report all of the instances of cyber-bullying to the police, as well as beginning the home education immediately.

A new academy? Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought new ones weren't inspected until their third year of operation?

That was my understanding, yes. It is a bit different if you were SM but then taken over by an Academy. But then you'd be being inspected regularly under SM anyway. If you are part of a MAT It might be different, but I don't see why. Something doesn't seem right.

It's a very simple thing to see a bullying policy. All schools must have one, if they do not it is breaking safeguarding legislation. Ask to see it, if they don't have one report them direct to OFSTED. Who should already know this school from what you say. But then, if they did, I find it odd that they wouldn't have policies in place. That alone would be enough to trigger an immediate no notice inspection.