AIBU to cancel a surprise anniversary weekend away

[GirlofKent]

I am at my wits end over a surprise weekend away I have arranged with DH to celebrate a significant anniversary. After a tough year during which I have started a new, stressful job and we have moved house, I thought it would be nice to surprise him with a weekend away without the kids. I have arranged childcare so that both DS's will stay with my sister for the weekend and I thought everything was set up and ready for a nice, rare weekend away. However, now that the surprise has been revealed by DH my MIL has now waded into the argument and is upset that she hasn't been involved in childcare arrangements. Inevitably, DH is taking her side in this and the whole thing has spiralled out of control. I am angry with my MIL for getting involved and angry with DH for not being appreciative of my efforts and am seriously considering cancelling the whole thing. Not sure which way to turn any more.

Inevitably
A key word. Does your husband have form for selling you out in favour of his mother?

I'd go myself, but I'm a spiteful cow really!

Exclaim brightly and loudly that you're delighted mil wants to offer a weekend of child care and is she free on x date?

Or cancel. Your dh is being ridiculous to 'take her side' because mil is being ridiculous. Or go on your own

That's really crap of him. What do YOU want to do?

I'd tell DH that you're feeling hurt that your nice surprise has been spoiled like this and that he's helped a small detail become a row and he's not taken your side.
I'd tell MIL that it made most sense logistically for your sis to have the children for the whole weekend, but she's welcome to have them another time.
I'd tell them both that they've taken the shine of the whole thing, which was organised at great expense and with great thought and care.

Then I'd pack my bag and go away for the weekend alone with my kindle.

I wouldn't cancel, but I wouldn't go with him!

Leave the boys with him and take your sister!

I'd do the same as mags

yup I'd also go anyway!

Tell your DH he can take the kids to your MIL, and you will go away with your sister.

Yes yes. Leave DH and Mil with the boys and go with your sister.

What Mags said!!!!

Was just about to suggest what mags said!

Sod him. You go. What a prat. Him not you.

Agree with Mags - leave children with DH, have a weekend away with your sister !

I would be really upset with both DH and MIL for wrecking your plans.

I think the key bit of your op is where you say it is inevitable he takes her side. That's your problem.
I think you need to think if you want this situation to change or whether you will tolerate him putting her wishes first. If you won't tolerate it then you need to be explicit that this is a deal breaker and he will have to decide how he is going to act.

Wtf has it got to do with MIL anyway?

That must really hurt.

Not on.

That's ridiculous! Clearly you trust your sister with your children and as YANBU your husband should back you with his DM & be excited by your lovely plans.

I'd also be tempted to take your DSIS & leave DM with your man child and DCs!

for you

take the kids leave the husband never surprise him again

This is one of the reasons I have recently separated from my DH, the face that he inevitably always takes MIL side in everything.

I am really looking forward to the rest of my life without her or him in it

Surely you just apologise disingenuously to the MIL and DH and explain that it's too late to cancel the weekend so you'll have to go on it, then immediately arrange a second child-free weekend with the MIL babysitting - perhaps make it a long weekend to compensate for the MIL missing out first time round?

Win-Win surely? Life's too short for any other resolution!

WTF has it got to do with MIL? Cancel it. Your husband is an ungrateful twat.

I'd go with your sister and leave him with the kids. MIL has offered to babysit. He's sorted.

Let me guess. She's never bothered about having them for the weekend before