AIBU to cancel a surprise anniversary weekend away

[GirlofKent]

I am at my wits end over a surprise weekend away I have arranged with DH to celebrate a significant anniversary. After a tough year during which I have started a new, stressful job and we have moved house, I thought it would be nice to surprise him with a weekend away without the kids. I have arranged childcare so that both DS's will stay with my sister for the weekend and I thought everything was set up and ready for a nice, rare weekend away. However, now that the surprise has been revealed by DH my MIL has now waded into the argument and is upset that she hasn't been involved in childcare arrangements. Inevitably, DH is taking her side in this and the whole thing has spiralled out of control. I am angry with my MIL for getting involved and angry with DH for not being appreciative of my efforts and am seriously considering cancelling the whole thing. Not sure which way to turn any more.

Sounds like you need the weekend even more now! Go with your sister

lokivonpoki I feel your pain. Never been happier or felt less lonely since my Wasbund and I split. Constantly feeling like second-best is soul destroying.
OP take your sister and leave the kids if you can. And if your sis has kids, leave them too!

I'd either take your Sister with you and leave him at home or I'd go alone!

You need to make a stand OP he needs to see just how bloody stupid he's being and just how bloody awful his Mum is being.

I hope you go and that you have a lovely time

The main issue here is MIL & DH siding with her.
I think you need to sort her need to know control out with DH. It's a much bigger issue than the weekend away. How much do you want to go? Do you specifically know the exact problem she has with it? At least you could address it whilst away, although it may ruin the weekend!?
(Happy anniversary btw )

WTF has it got to do with your MIL?

wank I can't wait, and feeling second best Is exactly what I've been for 13 years, when I type that I cannot believe I have taken so long to do this, but I'm really looking forward to January when I move out, and even more so- Christmas when I'm not expected to go along to MIL house and sir and smile at her and the rest of them being complete cunts and my DH completely ignoring me so as not to upset them all by seeing him be nice to me
I hope you enjoy your life too lets face it we're just too good for them

Make it a girls weekend with your sister instead. If you're doing the organising, you just get whoever you feel most comfortable asking to do the childcare - in this case it's your sister. Just like if I were organising something similar, I'd ask someone on my side of the family to have the DCs - not meant as a slight to DH's family, and nobody on his side would take it as such, thank goodness!

Leave the kids with MIL and dh and go away with your sister. Dh can look after your sister's kids too, lovely.

Ditto with the other posters.

Leave your "D"H with the kids, and go away with your sister.

Sounds like you have DH rather than a MIL problem - what's the back story?

Why would you have risked spoiling the surprise for your H, by asking your MIL?

Have your MIL and H jumped to conclusions which say something about what they think your relationship is like?(i.e. they'd take any opportunity to cut out the other "side") They're the ones who have turned thisnice gesture into a slight and an argument, which is sad for you and crap of them.

I'd tell DH that you're feeling hurt that your nice surprise has been spoiled like this and that he's helped a small detail become a row and he's not taken your side.
I'd tell MIL that it made most sense logistically for your sis to have the children for the whole weekend, but she's welcome to have them another time.
I'd tell them both that they've taken the shine of the whole thing, which was organised at great expense and with great thought and care.
Then I'd pack my bag and go away for the weekend alone with my kindle.

Yes, this. Or as others have said, take your sister. But this is the calm, simple conversation I would have with each of them.

And then I would think very, very hard about what I wanted to do next.

They have taken something nice and turned it into shit....all because your MIL wasnt consulted re:childcare.

Quite frankly, why should you have! You are an adult and your DC have other close relatives besides her. What is so wrong with your DC staying with their aunt I assume that your DSIS has children....?.

Personally, l would go without him and have a really hard think about my marriage.

Your mil and dh are both unreasonable. What a horrible result after your efforts to make a nice weekend away.

He's being a dick. I would always ask my family over DPs family. Nothing against them just I'm closer in general to my mum/sister than his mum/brother/sister.

I would take your sister and tell him he can stay with his mum and kids for the weekend. It's pretty rude that he's being like this

They both sound absolutely pathetic. Leave the kids with mil or dh and go with your sister.

Or even go on your own, don't take the ungrateful arse with you. You can make a weekend away thread and socialize with us lot instead

Take your sister instead.

How very insulting to your sister! I would be angry.

They have taken something nice and spoiled it I would ramp up the amateur dramatics' and cancel the whole lot

Then divorce him and name his mother as a reason something about her being unreasonably jealous of your relationship with her son?

Or just fuck off for the weekend without him and drink gin

What is happening regarding your weekend away OP?