To have a baby before I find a new job?

[rmrf]

I went back to university this Autumn to do a degree. It's a bit of a change for me, but I'm really enjoying it and hope to get an entry-level/graduate position once I graduate next year.

DH and I would also really like to start trying for our first baby sooner rather than later, but we have no idea when would be the best time to do this.

Would it be better for me to:

1. Get into work before having a baby, and then taking maternity leave not too long after, which might set me back a bit, or

1. Start trying now and potentially have a baby next year (shortly after I graduate), then DH takes paternity leave/works from home whilst I try and get into work?

We're only planning to have one child, so I prefer option 2 as I think it will cause me fewer work-disruption problems in the long run - but I'm not sure if that's reasonable or not!

There isn't a huge rush at 27. I would 100% get a job, be there for a year or so and ensure oyu've clocked up full ML benefits. Then TTC.

I've just had a baby. I'd get the job first for definite.

Definitely get the job first. 27 is still young.

Why do you say that abigwideworld? The other thing that's playing on my mind is that I'm showing a few symptoms of PCOS, and I'm worried TTC may take longer than expected.

Get the job now. Honestly you are probably not going to want to start the job hunt just after you have had a baby. If you get a job and work for a bit you will be entitled to more maternity pay and will have a job to go back to, should you wish, rather than having to start from scratch.

I had my first baby at 35, you have plenty of time. As a side issue, if you think you have PCOS then maybe get this checked out anyway but I would focus on getting a job for now.

I'd have a baby first. The type of contract you want to do may be different after having DC.

Definitely get the job now. You're still very young and it would be better to get into an established career (with paid maternity leave) before getting pregnant. Remember once baby is here it might be harder for you to work full time and it's much easier to drop hours or work more flexibly if you're in a company for a few years first. I had my first at 36 and now pregnant with my second at 39. Honestly, don't rush.

Option 2 sounds sensible to me. Sounds like an ideal time, really.

Could be because I've seen infertility first hand in my family.

I think it's good to be creative and TTC where you can, not just do what my close family members did and complete the studies and solid career track first, then find out dreams of offspring would not come true. It's tragic.

I should take my own advice, really. I have one DC that I had rather young (fears of not being able to C) but would love some more but am getting on a bit now... Am quite a bit older than you on TTC terms.

If it's something you absolutely know that you want, then why not make it a priority especially if you're sorted enough financially.

A friend of mine did your opton 2 actually and found it incredibly stressful to try and find a job while she had a small baby, she had to breastfeed in the carpark at interviews and things. She also found doing her exams while pregnant to be harder than she anticipated, but that depends on your course.

She recently had DC2 after being established in a job and said she found it much easier to cope plus the maternity pay was a bonus.

Do you want to work after the babies born? Or not work for a year like you would in maternity leave? I would get a job first. For mine, I only had to work 26 weeks to be entitled to all of the maternity benefits - pay etc so you'd be better off financially getting a job. Depending on the company policy, it doesn't stop you from trying for a baby, just as long you don't formally tell them you're pregnant until you've worked for them 26 weeks (in my case)

Imagine having your newborn in your arms and handing him/her over to dh to look after on paternity leave while you launch yourself into a whole new world of work where you're expected to focus heavily on what you're doing, not pining for your baby.

Also, there is a momentum to completing a course and finding a job - it lends a freshness and desirability that just isn't there after a year or two.

You are 27, only plan to have one, you should establish yourself in a career, get as senior a job as you wish, then have your baby, complete with a year's maternity leave and all the security of MP and a job to go back to.

Plus you have no idea how long it will take to get pregnany

Job first

Job first for sure. If your husband is on paternity leave while you are job hunting and it takes you a while, won't your household income drop? And I would prefer to feel secure during maternity leave so I can enjoy my baby/time off without the stress of needing to find a job hanging over my head.

I'm not planning on taking a year's ML either way, but then of course I've never had a baby before so it's hard to anticipate how I'd feel when it actually comes to DH taking over.

DH is very sure he'd like to take the full year himself though. And he works as a software engineer for a forward-thinking organisation, so thinks he could very easily work from home. But of course he's never had a baby either so can't truly anticipate how that would be for him!

I am seeing the logic of what the majority are saying though. Sigh.

In most companies working from home is completely different to working from and looking after a baby. In fact most companies (even forward thinking ones) have a clause in their contracts saying you must have childcare in place if you are working from home.

Job first. Absolutely.

If your DH thinks working from home is compatible with looking after a baby he is very much mistaken.

It would be nigh on impossible to work from home and have sole care of a baby.

If he is the one going to take years paternity leave and you really don't mind going to work when you have a newborn (although like you say you don't really know how you'll feel yet) then I actually don't see the problem just having the baby first. Personally I would much prefer to spend that precious time at home with the baby and not miss out on all those baby milestones. As you say you're only planning on having one, do you really want to miss out on the early years and go to work?

I'd get a job first, as in my experience:

1. the sort of companies it sounds like you want to apply to normally have a grad intake once per year, and don't recruit grads in between.

2. these companies tend to have a decent mat leave policy

3. they also tend to be pretty flexible when it comes to flex working requests, IF you are established. They tend to be very inflexible when recruiting though - very rare to see pt jobs advertised. You might think you want to work ft now, but nice to leave options open.

Also, I wfh a lot. I can never do it with a child at home though! That's very unrealistic.

Say you get pregnant relatively easily, you could be in the position of having a new born, a dp on paternity leave for a year and no job surely? Or have I read it wrong!? Paternity leave and wfh are very different, your dp will not be able to work ft from home and take care of a new born. Job first.

NickyEds The WFH thing is a little irrelevant, I shouldn't have mentioned it I think. I suppose I was just thinking about how flexible DH can potentially be with his work - but really the idea is that if we TTC now I could potentially have birth next year after I graduate and DH would take PL, whilst I get into work. I would hope I'm able to find a job within a year! Then we'd get childcare sorted once DH is back to work.

Give birth, not have birth!

Job first. From your timeline you'll still be young when you ttc.

As with all people who haven't had kids, you're underestimating it. It is so much easier to do everything, including job hunting without a baby in tow.

In theory that would work OP but how old do you envisage the baby being when you go back to work? If you want to breastfeed then working early isn't really compatible with that and you could be very sleep deprived and in general think very differently about going back to work than you do now. When I was pregnant with DS1 I was planning to do my CIMA qualification during my mat leave (or some of it) and my manager just laughed at me and asked me to speak to him once I'd had the baby...yep he was right....there's no way I could have studied on mat leave. My point is that it's good to make plans but a baby usually doesn't adhere to them! It's definitely safest to secure employment for yourself first while your still keen (and surviving on more than 4 hours sleep)