To have a baby before I find a new job?

[rmrf]

I went back to university this Autumn to do a degree. It's a bit of a change for me, but I'm really enjoying it and hope to get an entry-level/graduate position once I graduate next year.

DH and I would also really like to start trying for our first baby sooner rather than later, but we have no idea when would be the best time to do this.

Would it be better for me to:

1. Get into work before having a baby, and then taking maternity leave not too long after, which might set me back a bit, or

1. Start trying now and potentially have a baby next year (shortly after I graduate), then DH takes paternity leave/works from home whilst I try and get into work?

We're only planning to have one child, so I prefer option 2 as I think it will cause me fewer work-disruption problems in the long run - but I'm not sure if that's reasonable or not!

Get yourself checked out if you suspect PCOS and then make a decision from there. I am not in a position to have children just yet but if I was told I had fertility issues I would start trying immediately and fuck the career.

Your field has the added bonus of remote and flexible working and you can build up a portfolio of short projects if you don't get the grad job right away.

Hang on. If you're not working, I'm not sure your DH is actually entitled to take a year's paternity leave.

Yep, I've checked and that's right. If you haven't got any entitlement to maternity leave or maternity allowance yourself (i.e. you haven't been working whilst pregnant) then your DH is only entitled to 2 weeks' paternity leave. He can't do the Shared Parental Leave thing - that's only available where the woman has an entitlement to maternity leave and chooses to pass it to her DH.

That's the statutory position. Of course it's possible your DH's employer is more generous and offers more than statutory, i.e. offers a long paternity leave to employees regardless of their statutory entitlement. But check! If they don't - that's yet another reason to wait till you have a job.

Speaking as a women with unexplained infertility (with signs of PCOS), I was always thankful that I started ttc at 27, as it meant I was young enough for IVF to be more likely to work (eventually got my DD in my early 30s). So I'm always inclined to suggest starting earlier than later. And for those saying make sure you've worked a while to get more leave/pay there's no guarantee that if you got a job that you would be entitled to more than statutory - I'm a professional and only get statutory leave and pay.

However, as mini pie says, if you have a baby before getting work your DH won't be able take shared parental leave and he certainly won't be able to work from home and look after a baby at the same time. So it might be better to wait.

As an aside, PCOS doesn't always cause fertility problems. I have it and didn't have problems (well I did first time, but turned out to be thyroid rather than PCOS, got pg quickly once thyroid was medicated) and a friend has it and got pg very very easily.

I realise PCOS does cause difficulties for many women, but not all. And you may not have it anyway...

I'd look for work too despite having fertility problems myself. In all honesty in this market it maybe harder to find a job than to fall pregnant. So look for a job while you're a new graduate and focus on your career for a while.

Whatever you do I recommend finishing your course before ttc. I've seen many a degree completion delayed by issues such as severe morning sickness and other complications.