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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Those who breastfed a 2+ year old... How did you stop?

58 replies

Absofrigginlootly · 30/11/2016 14:54

I'm still happily breastfeeding my 25 month old DD... And currently night weaning her (has done it previously but it slipped back due to illness, deprecation anxiety and sleep regression)... Anyway I'm hoping this will help cut back on feeds overall and as she has just dropped her nap ( oh how I miss it!!) I no longer need to feed her to sleep in the day.

Anyway, my question is how did you stop breastfeeding altogether? Aibu to not really know how to stop? Did your toddler self wean or did you have to refuse feeds and comfort them another way?

In an ideal world i would let her self wean... But she's very attached to the boob and I suspect she'd be 3 or 4 before she did....I was initially thinking of trying to stop in the new year because we'd like to have another baby. I won't go into the medical reasons but I absolutely can't breastfeed and TTC or whilst pregnant and as I'm getting on a bit age wise I didn't want to leave it another year....

Advice please

OP posts:

Original poster

Absofrigginlootly · 30/11/2016 14:54

That should be separation anxiety!!!

Bloody phone

OP posts:

ChaChaBlah · 30/11/2016 14:56

Watching with interest!

savagehk · 30/11/2016 14:57

Self weaned at 2.5y. Gradually less and less feeds till approx bedtime only, and if daddy did those obviously no milk, so it just slowly stopped.

SerialReJoiner · 30/11/2016 14:58

I would start doing subtle things, like staying standing as much as possible in the day (my dd would order me to sit down so she could feed!), offer fun drinks as an alternative that she wouldn't normally get, distract her for a few minutes at a time and slowly begin to stretch out the time between requesting and acquiescing. See it as a process rather than a quick, sharp shock.

In the end, we were moving house and I had to go away for the weekend to house hunt. By the time I got back, my milk had mostly dried up and she stopped trying after a short while.

HappyJustToBe · 30/11/2016 14:59

I stopped on DD's second birthday. I told her the milk had run out. She was accepting other than one huge tantrum about four months on which took me by surprise.

leedy · 30/11/2016 15:00

Pregnancy, which is possibly a bit drastic. :)

DS2 is still having the occasional bedtime feed at 4, but he's definitely not as interested as he was - I'd say I could easily push for total weaning now if I was particularly bothered (it's no problem leaving him for a few days so it's no particular imposition), and that he'll almost certainly self-wean in the next year.

(I say this now, which probably means he'll be feeding til he's 6...)

KookSpook · 30/11/2016 15:06

I honestly got the Dr to do it

I took DD in about something else and mentioned DDs love of the boob and that I hadnt had a full nights sleep for over 2 years.

Dr was fab, she explained that she BF her DC until they were 4! She asked me if I wanted her to have a little word with DD.

So she looked at DD & said "Are you going to stop feeding at night now & let mummy sleep?

DD promptly said "No, because Im a baby "

Anyway she did actually stop a few days after & I wrote our Dr a thank you card which is still on the surgery wall, a year later

TheABC · 30/11/2016 15:08

We just cut down gradually until it was just two feeds a day. I then fell pregnant again and the milk dried up which stopped it completely.

As its a habit for you child, start replacing specific feeds with another pleasurable activity e.g. cuddle and a book for bed (whilst wearing a high top!). And serial is right - it's a process. I know mine was philosophical when the milk stopped as he had plenty of other ways to get comfort from me.

BellaGoth · 30/11/2016 15:10

DS was 2.8 and showing no sign of stopping, and I'd REALLY had enough, so I offered him a large box of duplo if he could give up for 2 weeks. When the 2 weeks were up he got his duplo and never mentioned breast milk again.

MrsRyanGosling15 · 30/11/2016 15:10

We haven't fed at night for a year just due to sleeping through and if he did wake I sent my dh in. I'm 15 weeks pregnant and my 2yr old is a boob monster. I told him my boobs were sore for all day feeds. He cried for a few min a few times but got over it so quick. He just had his morning feed left. I would bring him into my bed. I got mu dh to bring him downstairs for 3 mornings then I just took him down. Been 3 weeks now and he hasn't mentioned it. He has been putting his head on my chest when he is tired though. I must admit, I feel so free!

JellyWitch · 30/11/2016 15:14

Selfweaned at nearly 5. Night weaned at 3 and we dropped naptime and morning feeds within 6 months of that and just kept going with bedtime. We gradually skipped nights if we were busy or I was working late and it slowly stretched to sometimes weeks between nursing. I made it clear at 4 that I wouldn't offer anymore and that he would have to ask. He finally gave up just after his younger sibling was born. I think losing his latch speeded it up!

Happymumof3tobe · 30/11/2016 15:30

i would like to know this too. still breastfeeding ds2 and 20 weeks pregnant :(

Bythebeach · 30/11/2016 15:33

DC1 & 3 were restricted to a first thing in the morning and last thing at bedtime feed and distracted at other times. Then night feed dropped and milk offered from cup. Then morning feed dropped with bribery and end of breast feeding toy at age 3 and 3.5 respectively. DS2 self weaned at 21 months!

witsender · 30/11/2016 15:34

They both just stopped naturally, daughter was nigh on 2 and son was 3 and a bit. I didn't offer and they didn't ask, if they asked I fed but when they didn't...they stopped.

Original poster

Absofrigginlootly · 30/11/2016 15:36

Thanks for your replies.... Interesting that there is such a variety in the ways that everyone stopped. I guess with feeding for 2+ years your childs personality comes into play so much more.

That's where I'm struggling tbh... My DD is VERY high needs emotionally and gets a lot of comfort from the boob... It's also complicated by the fact she has a dairy allergy and refuses to eat meat/pulses so apart from a bit of fish I worry about her protein and fat intake if I stop breastfeeding.... Sigh.

If only I were 3 years younger I would just let her self wean and then TTC...

OP posts:

Out2pasture · 30/11/2016 15:48

My daughter dropped of dgc with us ( gran and gramp) and took a weekend holiday. Dgc was 2.5 and she was 12 weeks pregnant.

StubbleTurnips · 30/11/2016 15:48

DD was very attached to night feeding, we stopped at 2.8 and thought it would be impossible. Was a lot easier when she dropped her nap tbh. We were just feeding in the evening, timed it with a move in nursery rooms (to an upstairs room) so on repeat telling her that the move meant she was a really big girl now and bought her a special big girl cup / pull ups at the same time so the transition to big girl happened then. It took a while to grasp she wouldnt get milk but could cuddle / hold my boob to sleep.

We had a couple of months of crying over booby but kept asking if she wanted to move back downstairs with the 'toddlers' at nursery and she was desperate to be a big girl!

Witchend · 30/11/2016 15:49

All mine weaned in different ways.

Dd1 I stopped at night and she just had a little before her afternoon snack. By the end she was fairly unbothered about whether she got it or not, and I think I didn't out and out refuse ever, but said something like "well you could have some, or would you like this yoghurt instead." I think it took 2-3 weeks between me deciding and her never asking again, and perhaps putting her off 4 times.

Dd2 loved stories and I would say to her "milk or story". At first she always chose milk, then it was 50/50 and then she always chose story. She was the youngest to stop.

Ds was harder because he was ill (ear infections), and he liked it as comfort when he was ill. In fact when he's very ill he still likes to be held in the same position. Similar to dd1, but took much longer, as he preferred milk to anything, particularly when ill. In fact about 6 months after he'd given up he started asking again quite persistently when he was ill. Eventually I let him try and he found there wasn't much milk and didn't really ask again, to my relief as I didn't want to start up again.

Bear2014 · 30/11/2016 15:56

I stopped around my DD's 2nd birthday as we wanted to start IVF for a sibling.

We had already night weaned at 18-19 months, we did this by OH going in to her if she woke in the night. We then dropped the pre-nap feed about a month later.

By this point we were down to just the evening feed. I started to do 'don't offer, don't refuse' at about 23 months and have a beaker of milk in the room to offer her instead. Not making a big deal over it. She started asking less and less, and when she had not asked for 5 days in a row I knocked it on the head. I only had to refuse her once or twice after that but she was ok with it.

She's almost 3 now and she came home laughing about how her friend's mum had given the baby milk from her boobies! I said you used to do that and she said 'noooo' and fell about laughing.

shapesandshades · 30/11/2016 15:56

I weaned DC1 by reducing feeds over two weeks until no more were offered at 12 months, soon after she started nursery 3 days a week. DC2 was bf till 2.6 at which point it was high time but she was still keen! I stuck a couple of peppa pig plasters on my breasts and told her they were now 'broken'. She fully accepted this but kept asking every now and again if they were now fixed and worked again for about 2-3 months.

Bear2014 · 30/11/2016 15:57

Shapes, that is genius.

AButterflyLightsBesideUs · 30/11/2016 15:58

When DD was approaching 4 we did a deal that she would stop BFing when she turned 4 (had a previous successful deal over potty training starting the day after Christmas which worked a treat as she knew it was coming). However, she is a late August baby so turning 4 coincided with starting reception about 10 days later and it didn't work, she couldn't cope with so much change at once.

In the end I fell pregnant 4 months later and my nipples immediately became super sensitive, feeding was agony and I felt sick all the time and couldn't stand the contact, also my milk supply seemed to vanish - so I finally found my backbone and withstood the upset and howling at bedtime and she was weaned in about 4-5 days.

We'd previously nightweaned about 6 months earlier and that basically involved talking to her about it in the daytime, and then during the nights (she's a cosleeper) I went on holiday to the spare room and she sleep with DH for 2-3 weeks until the habit was well and truly broken. When I came back to sleeping with them, wearing tucked in vest tops under my PJs helped make sure she didn't casually find her way in whilst I was half asleep and restart the night feeding.

Good luck OP.

I've heard a lot of people say that you need to spend a few weeks never sitting down, because the second you do they are in your lap and your bra . I also found sitting DD on my lap facing outwards (e.g. to read a book together) meant she got all the cuddles and contact she was used to without being face to boob which generally led straight to requests for milk...

DixieNormas · 30/11/2016 15:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheTombstonesMove · 30/11/2016 16:07

BF my DC til they were 2. Down to one feed (settling for night time). I started a new job and had to be away over night for a couple of nights. Came back, told DC that my milk had all run out because they were big now. DC accepted that. Asked maybe twice "why has the milk gone?" - but that was all. Lots of cuddles and love from both me and DP. No problem in the end. I was a bit gutted - the end of an era! But was lovely to reclaim my boobs for a bit!

DamsonInDistress · 30/11/2016 16:10

We stopped at about 2.5 years and were down to one feed a day and bedtime by then. I went with "mama's boo-boo's are broken and there's no milk" with copious distractions and treats. Only took two days and he stopped asking.

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